So, I am at a buddy's house, and there is a snaffle who had moved into the tree right beside the house. This tree supports the birdfeeder, but the birds don't want to come get their chow because the krewlskwerl won't share.
Does this bug me? Nope. Why not? Because I don't really like birds all that much anyway. However, what does bug me is the fact that this friggen snaffle makes the most obnoxious noise whenever a hungry bird gets close to the tree. Actually, it sounds the alarm whenever anyone gets close to the tree. The tree is right by the deck, bbq, socializing area, etc; so it is impossible to avoid pissing of the noisy snafflespeaker. Does such a small-seeming irritation warrent a hunt? No, not really. Kinda. Maybe. But lemme tell ya what pushed me over the edge...
That little bastard started squeeking, chirping, and sqawking at my dog. I am telling you that the little snafflebrat was threatening my dog (who, by the way, is only about 7lbs). I figured that was enough to justify a killing.
I borrow a handy little .22 longrifle right then and there and shot the noisey little fucker right outta the tree.
My buddy comes and looks over the edge of the deck and sees that the target is writhing in its last snafflethroes. Buddy walks into the house (a gentle soul intending to lessen the snafflesuffering) to get another bullet.
I jump off the deck and hover over the snafflebody. My buddy comes back with a bullet in his hand and sees that I am standing with the barrel of the gun in my hand. I had just finished crushing the snafflebastard's head in with the butt of the gun.
"Well, I guess that's more economical" says my buddy.
"Yup", says I.
Moral of the story:
Never piss off white trash.
