olyclimber

Chapter 4: Dealing with the Wannabees When you walk the walk and talk the talk, you're going to have a trail of Wannabee biting at your ankles. Be sure to keep them at bay by taking a day off here and there between your hardman sending and bitchslap the punks. Expose them for what they are: those who either wish they were you, or those who are just jealous of what you mean to the climbing community. Player haters. And don't forget the lesson from Chapter 1. Let your ego guide you. You're man. Keep the comebacks coming. Go for the jugular. Humility is for those who finish second.

Chapter 3: Exhibitionism It is important, as a "Real Climber", to be an exhibitionist. While nochalantly dropping hints about hard climbs you've done, don't stop there. Don't hesitate at the opportunity to post pictures of yourself in various stages of undress on climbing boards. Don't be shy!!! Lets face it, those wannabees really want to know what you look like naked and how small your privates really are. Don't miss out on a geniune opportunity to show off, and let your freak flag fly!

If you don't like it then don't play. This is SPRAY! NOLSe is the new steaksauce. Anyway, I'm working on a book....but just like the new Smith Guide....you don't have to buy it!

Chapter 2: The Women Now that you've applied the knowledge you've learned in Chapter 1, you're going to need to know how to deal with all the women. You've got to come up with a system for managing all the girleez you're going to be scoopin, because after a while you start forgetting names and whatnot, and that isn't good. And don't lose hope if things don't workout...because you're a "Real Climber" they're all gonna want to hang out with you or go climbing with you...because you're the shit. Top dog. The Big Kahuna. Find a system that works for you and stick with it. For some, a rolodex works. Others prefer a bling-bling PDA. You also may want to look into the newer Smart Phones, which allow for syncing with your desktop contact list. They even have pictures so when they girleez call, you can put a face with the name.

Chapter 1: The Ego "Real Climbing" is achieved within. It is a state of mind, a lack of humility. It is the ability to chestbeat even in defeat. It is the ablility to stand and take the heat from wannabees....even some who have never met you. Thus, the "Real Climber" stands tall as a shining example, ready for his chance to be profiled in Alpinist Magazine.

I'm still a little vexed with this "REAL CLIMBER" business. There are vague ideas floating around this board about what it really means, as you throw down these little nuggets of wisdom and the kids bandy them around with much joy. I do know that it in someway involves windshirts. Also "bagging" something or another. Also...something about working in outdoor retail. There is the amount to time spent a week climbing (so far I understand it as number of days: 2. Could you be more specific...maybe put it in hours?). "REAL CLIMBING" is not Smith Rock. It is not unclimbed WI. It is something that CAN be achieved by weekly dry tooling seshs. If you are a "REAL CLIMBER" you can be on the recieving end of a lot of guff, because everyone want to knock the guy on top off. These are a few of the ideas I've been putting together, and I think there may be enough material for a manual. Lets call it "NOLSe's Guide to Becoming a Real Climber". We can pitch it to The Mountaineers. Don't worry if you don't know how to write...I'll ghost write it for you. I just need you to throw it down and kick the k-knowlege. I figure the people on this board should know what it takes, even if they don't have a chance at that level. Lets do this.

You mean just like you did there....twice?

Damn it! Why didn't somebody page me! Now...lets get down to brass tacks. Here are the facts: A. NOLSe is going to Utah and he wants us all to know it. B. Climbing at Smith and little known WI climbs is not NOLS endorsed climbing C. Pandora and NOLSe are no longer going out D. There is no D.

I think we all know that sort of protein research you're doing Fox!

Those are perfect! Well, almost. It seems they've got both the right material and the most efficient form. They just need to make them in yellow, and I'm buying one.

First, let me say that this is one of the best threads ever on CC.com. I have been spending quite a bit of time debating whether my RidgeRest was too bulky and whether I was breaking the "if you were warm, you brought too much" code. The yellow pad seems to fit with my requirements: 1. It has an "R" value. "R" values are cool, and every Alpinist should have one. 2. If you have one on your pack, you look legit. 3. They are a relatively realitively cheap accessory compared to say....a #6 Cam. 4. Did I mention they look good? The problem is that they appear to only be available at MEC, up there in Canada. I was going to order something from MEC sometime ago, but they want something like $19 to ship to this 'Merican. Thats more than a yellow pad!

Well....I was just going for maximum fuel consumption to please and enrich the oil barons. That truck sure guzzled it down. Two gas tanks and it seem like it was gallons per mile, not miles per gallon.

THE PEN-IS MIGHTIER!

There is a sweet bit of hypocrisy contained here, Thrill. I have a Toyota truck which I got to enhance my he-man image. I also have a Subaru for those moments when I lose touch with my estrogen side. I also have a broken down VW bus to ensure that my granola side is taken care of. I did have a Ford F250 to address the Dick Cheney in me, but I sold it to my dad...it is too expense to please him. But I can't believe you think it is OK to not have Turbo Charging in you yellow-look-at-me-X-terra!!! Your opinion isn't for everyone...don't forget it!!! Peace.

Nice CP!

"RAPBLTR"

yes...we are climbers, aren't we. here's to good friends, tonight is kinda special.

What is the "Get inside" link supposed to get you inside of?

No shit...the last thing we need is a bald guy with big tits!

This is just a sampling of the pictures stored on Alpinfox's harddrive.

I think that qualifies you as a dirtbag hardman, because they're less expensive than the yellow pads. The blue Evasote outweighs the yellow Bivy Evasote by 45 grams though! Thats like 1/4 of a windshirt!

Hello! I'm rich, and I enjoy the Cascade Jewels. I live big. Post your resume, and we can talk further. I definitely experience abundance in my life, but don't hate me for it. Bonus points if you can post a grammatically correct sentence with the most "have"s in it.

Inspiring trip report. I take Alpine Tip # 7 to heart.

I've never paid attention to the speed of the compact flash cards when buying them, but they do make a difference based on the speed you can write to the disk. More megapixels=more information that needs to be written to the disk means fast is preferred...but I've never had a problem with speed. Maybe I could take more pictures in a shorter time period (Distel32 type photo spew) with a faster card, but I haven't felt the need. Here is a FAQ that explains the different compact flash speeds. My advice would be to buy faster cards, but if they're too expensive than go with a slower one. I'm from the Olympic Peninsula, btw. Did I mention that? Not Olympia.

That wouldn't work. He'd just waste his time elsewhere...bivouac.com, rockclimbing.com, ass.com, etc. Lets face it, there is no helping him. He's terminal.