bunglehead

Right? I ordered a "Religion kills folks dead" and an "Atheist" shirt, just so people that hang out with me know that I'm going to hell.

Or fuck farm animals and have sex with first cousins.

That's getting bookmarked. WWJD thong! Classic.

I read in the Oregonian once that there's some law in our lovelt state about you can't punch horses in public, or something. And one about fish.

So we could harvest Bush for hypocrite oil And Cheney for mean oil? And Bill Frist for fucking whacko retard oil? And John Kerry for poseur wooden speech oil? ZING!!

So does the law apply to drum lines too, or just cheerleading? How are they supposed to serve each other if they can't get lewd?

I never thought of that. Can we use this same logic with hippies? Harvest em for hemp oil?

You otter not give away anything.

No, from what I can tell, it's usually Carl's Jr or one of those other idiotic chains. But the kids always look like they have breathing problems. Like Pugs. GROSS.

I usually see them eating in their cars. With ugly little children in the back.

Fat chick tipping?

Hmm, for some reason I don't think that'd fly in the U.S. Except maybe in Texas where they've banned SEXY CHEERLEADING!

Maybe it was the same guy that's responsible for this:

What's this I hear about you having problems with your TPS reports?

A MILLION Points to Dru for one of the ONLY people I've seen use "Intents and purposes" correctly. A opposed to "Intensive purposes" or "Intents of purposes"

Same here

I'm glad to see somebody has their thinking cap on! 1073 feet! That's twice as high at the altitude I live at! So does single malt taste better all the way up there?

What I'm confused about is when he was re-elected, he said something like "I've earned political capital, and I intend to spend it, the people have spoken" but yesterday he said something like: "Well if a president was to run everything on polls, it'd kind of be like a dog wagging it's own tail" or some stupid shit like that. So, when people re-elected him, that's the will of the people, but when it comes to his low approval ratings with his handling of gas supplies, he says he must ignore the same people to get his job done? This doesn't make sense to me...???

Ahh, a most excellent question. Well, this guy, um, well, this was the least painful part of dealing with him. And besides, I can't punch a guy that's whipped like that, it'd be like hitting a girl. It's just wrong.

No shit, great story.

What's "Canada"?

Has anybody here had "Dalwhinnie"? It's the highest altitude distillery in Scotland. At 90 bucks a bottle, it's probably pretty good.

Around these parts, "natural selection" means "Fat Wal Mart shoppers fucking and procreating, so the kids can play in the mud patch out behind the duplex while mommy and daddy drink Steel Reserve at 7:30 in the morning, sing along to "Witchy Woman" "Little Pink Houses" and "Shakin" while their "friends" come over to drink with them and get spun out on the latest very bad for you "100% Biker Made White Drug of the Minute" and smoke cheap mexican shake and Kools.

Co worker who shall remain nameless: "So, uh dude, did you watch "American Idol" last night?" me: "Uh, no dude, I can't watch that show. It hurts my brain and it fucking sucks." cwwsrn:"Yeah, well the only reason I'm watching is because my girlfriend MADE ME, and now I'm hooked" me: "damn dude, you're pretty whipped" cwwsrn: "Yeah, well I told her I draw the line at soaps. I'm not watching soaps. No way." me: "Way to stick up for yourself" cwwsrn: "Well, a man can only be pushed so far, but I like American Idol now. It's really interesting."

How about waterskiing squirrels? Those li'l guys are funny! That would make appropriations hearings so much more entertaining!