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bird

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Everything posted by bird

  1. This post is funny until you realize the same exact link was posted about 3 months ago.
  2. bird

    Any Mars Watchers?

    I think they call it the crab nebula.
  3. How about when there are dipshits above you showering you with small rocks and biners? Never been hit, but a few have come damn close.
  4. bird

    Good 'ol Boy List

    fuck you
  5. bird

    Trask in the News AGAIN

    Why has no one played the "squeal like a pig" angle yet?
  6. This is the best of the best. The cream of the crop. I hope one day that we can all laugh that the best we could come up with in 2000 was George W. Bush and Al Gore.
  7. bird

    Cool Story

    This story requires little detective work. If the following is true it is an urban legend regardless of how plausible it might sound. 1. The person who tells the story is only a few people removed from the person it happens to. 2. There is the telltale plot build up to the one sentence plot solution at the end. Any story with these two elements is an urban legend and never happened… period. Whoever tells this story should be shamed mercilessly.
  8. Who do I have to fuck to get an early copy?
  9. But Muffy, I want to talk more about carolyn's booty.
  10. to sum up there is a difference between apples (theft) and oranges (the fine art of booty recovery).
  11. For my own personal sanity I'm just going to believe that you are trolling.
  12. The birth certificate should do the trick for proof of citizenship. SS card does nothing so you can leave it at home. I did the exact same trip about a month ago with the future Mrs. bird and it was awesome!! Saw shitloads of orcas right next to the kayaks.
  13. Stealthily cut the core at the midpoint and give it back.
  14. I was thinking about getting a few of these to set up around the car. I would love to watch one of those motherfuckers have to chew their leg off in order to get out.
  15. Did anyone's car NOT get broken into this weekend in Squamish??? Just curious if anyone got out unscathed???
  16. I was at the truck border and it was still fucked. Probably better than the other one, though. Won't be back this weekend cause I got a company golf tournament. Maybe sometime in Sept if I am lucky.
  17. Excellent move. Can you please pm me their name and address so I know who to make the letter bomb out to? Thank you.
  18. The future Mrs. Bird, the notorious Norsky, and I headed to Squamish for a weekend of craggin and debauchery. Our initial plan on Saturday was to do Rock On and then hit some boulders, but with three heavy hangovers we thought that might be somewhat aggressive. Especially since we got a bouldering start to the day instead of an alpine start. We revised our plan to hit up some of the high quality cracks at the base of the Chief and climb some boulders in the same area. We got to the base of the Chief and realized Norsky fucked up and forgot his rope. He wasn’t about to walk 10 minutes back to the car to get it so we agreed to do Exasperator since it is one of the only ones you can do in this area with just one rope. Good old Norsky agreed to let me lead the route since I had never been on it. Too bad I pitched on the second pitch and blew the onsight. Time to climb some boulders! Norsky walks up to the highball V0 warm up… you know the one. He is on the start hold with a heel hook way out right because he didn’t want to “cheat” by standing on the little boulder and made one move and blew off. He was in the air… 3 feet off the ground and landed hard on his ankle. Sprained the shit. You wouldn’t think cratering from 3 feet would make a huge noise but Norsky has plenty of extra weight behind him so it made a huge noise. People came running cause they thought he cratered from 15’. Fatty! So we boulder for a while and head back to the car and sure enough someone tried to break in and fucked up Norsky’s rig so the passenger side door couldn’t open. Norsky is having one of the more shittier days he can remember. We spent the evening getting fucked up and fantasizing about beating the shit out of car thieves like probably half of all the other people were doing at the campsite. How many fucking thieves are in Squamish anyway? I can’t really remember much about that night. Good thing the future Mrs. Bird is somewhat of a pill popper and had some good shit for old Norsky to ease the pain. Norsky’s ankle was mostly useless so we were destined for the boulders on Sunday. Had a great time blowing the old tips out and doing some cratering of my own. Hit the road in the afternoon… the border was fucked. Got jacked on coffee in Bellingham on the way back! What a sweet trip!!!
  19. For all you drinkers out there check out Modern Drunkard Magazine. It contains many interesting and useful articles such as The Best Bar Moves, Boozing with the Bible, and The Lost Art of the Bender.
  20. Sounds like Traskie was heading out on the town.
  21. is that what led to the pee in the toilet tank incident? Yep, a couple of 64's and some pills.
  22. I like this after a long day in the hills.
  23. Come up to squamish this weekend and come bouldering, you'll gain experience, ability, and a longer list of favorite problems Haven't been up there in over a year, but it just so happens that I'll be there this weekend ... mostly doing routes. I'll probably find some time to check out some boulders too. Maybe I'll see you there
  24. I have spent a few days bouldering in Leavenworth, and with my limited experience (and ability) here are my favorites: The Rail The Scoup The Barndoor Royal Flush (project )
  25. Yeah, I've pissed on my fair share of toothbrushes, but those days are way behind me. You never know. Maybe we know each other. Maybe I have been to a bunch of your parties
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