lummox

That is funny shit.

Ha, ha. The US ain't gonna surrender.

fill in your own captions. I suggest "equals 4" and "Ah shit! I'm going to jail and I forgot my bra."

Ddi you hear about the mohel who refused to be paid? He only took tips.

Chretien says: Ease up on criticizing the "American bastards" and their "moron" President. I say "Thanks Jean-jean the dancing machine."

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. `````````````````````````````````` "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey ```````````` "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign. ````````````````````````````````````````````````` "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. ````````````````````````````````````````````` "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. ````````````````````````````` "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````` "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas. ```````````````````````````` "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne ``````````` "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark `````````````````````````````````` "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President ``````````````````` "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle `````````` " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another" --George Bush, US President `````````````````````` "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca ``````````` "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony. ````````````````````````````````````````` "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. ```````````````````````````````````````````` "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. ````````````````````````````````` "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President `````````````````` "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP `````````` "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery ``````````````` "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina ```````````````````````````````````````````` "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

She got a purty mouth

>"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" >---Jacques Chirac, President of France > In response: > "As far as France is concerned, you're right." >---Rush Limbaugh, > >"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these >drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by >prostitutes." > ---Mark Twain > > "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French >one behind me." >--- General George S. Patton > > "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your >accordion." > >--Norman Schwartzkopf > > "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." > >---- Marge Simpson > >"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is >sitting in Paris sipping coffee." > >--- Regis Philbin > >"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any >better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit >outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more >stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't >know." > >--- P.J O'Rourke (1989) > >"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the >1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the >face >for it." > >---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona > >"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he >hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, >people." > >--Conan O'Brien > > >"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't >help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get >the Germans out of France!" >---Jay Leno > > > "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching >into Paris under a German flag." > >--David Letterman > > How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? >One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Too fucking polite on that shiznit. Must be the moderators.

Donkeypunch is as crude as a Cleveland Steamer, or Chili Dog.

"little evil Bush" is a quote from Saddam (or maybe one of his doubles?). Great route name. So is "Shock and Awe".

it's NOT on the continent of Antarctica

During the winter of 1990, after way too much to drink and smoke in the burbs of Pasadena, only sometime-climbing-partner Tony would continue onward to Joshua Tree with me. Tony was literally green from his hangover, and I didn't feel any better. We opted for something easy, so we climbed Walk on the Wildside which I had never done before. No smiling that day. The hangovers only seemed to get worse. We topped out then bailed the monument for some Edchadas and hair of the dog. That was a sick route.

A sick route is one whats makes Daisy squeal with delight.

If looking at pictures worked, I'd be getting laid a lot more by big-titted beauties.

That Camel filtered sure is nice after the morning coffee and Little Debbies cookies. Breakfast of a Champion. Think I'll light another nail.

You fuckin quitters disgust me.

Were you smoking non-GMO cigarettes? Cause that genetic-manipulation shit is bad for you. Just ask the Europeans bout that. No way would any health-conscious froggy be eating some Mansanto corn mush with the morning Gauloises. And their longer lifespans prove my point.

One time Shahid Saleem had the trots and everyone thought he was melting.

running out of Leinenkugel's at 6:30pm EST this coming Sunday.