Dr_Flash_Amazing

It's interesting, this nicely mirrors the sport/trad debate, vis-a-vis the impact of conveniences such as bolts or pre-placed draws on the legitimacy of the ascent. As an avid sport climber, however, DFA recommends taking the chairlift and goin' with the local ethics, or whatever makes sense for you.

Ah, man, cut the Doctor some slack, eh? It's about 900 degrees in here, it's too hot to climb out there, it's too hot to get any sleep ... lethargy, ennui, catatonia. Anyway, familiarity has bred contempt for the verbose and lengthy twistings of wit of days gone by, which postings were mostly lost on the sub-average sub-basement-dwelling sub-humans at which they were directed anyway. Also: 1. Who has some good under-10-dolla' white wine recommendations for this ungodly hot weather? 2. Try the New Zealand sharp white cheddar down at Wild Oats. Delicious, and not such a crude, in-yer-face sharpness as most sharp cheddar. A smooth sharpness, if you can imagine such. Swell on quesadillas or solo.

There's your answer right there.

Perhaps soon they'll get over the idea that anyone gives a shit about them at all any more. Honestly, who can keep track of which one of these morons has fucked up which way lately?

Get talked into taking the strap-on, did you?

Central Oregon right after the rain. Sage and Juniper and volcanic dirt, oh yeah!

George Tenet?

Better yet, wait 'til you're hanging on the end of the rope, and say "dude, I think I'm comin' off!"

"Personality type: Lame You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks triple grande latte. Also drinks: V8 Can also be found: On the couch at home" Can't argue with that!

Hey! That video's a fake and you know it!

Can it, bizzo. You want the Doctor to fax you a copy? Or maybe read it to your answering machine if you have problems with the reading part? Shit's 100% legit.

Sorry for the dumb question, but since I'd never be caught dead with a bouldering pad, can you explain how a "real" bouldering pad differs from just some foam? Is it just the handles? Dumbass. You don't deserve an answer.

Well, let's go check the mail and see, shall we? Lessee, we got one from Arc'teryx, one from Subaru, one from Sportiva, one from Oscar Meyer, one from Hamm's, one from Hilti, and one from the MacArthur Foundation. Oh, and a Valentine from your mom, which is a little late, but always appreciated. Here, how 'bout the Sportiva one? Everyone likes La Sportivas, right? *ahem* "Dear Dr. Flash Amazing, Hope the summer is going well and that you're enjoying your rest period. We understand that rest is important to any high-performance athlete, especially one with your inborne sense of style and panache. We would like to propose a 'DFA Summer Tour' in the La Sportiva bus, co-sponsored and catered by Hamm's ("The Beer Refreshing") and Martina's Mexican Restaurant. It'll last about a month and a half, with 23 stops around the western US, hitting the major crags, talking up the new Amazingator lace-ups, and doing some autographs for your legions of slathering fans. Please let us know at your earliest convenience whether this works out for you. We have budgeted 1.3 million dollars for the venture, 40% of which is set aside for your salary. Also enclosed are some design proofs for the logo on the new Amazing-X line of approach flip-flops, for your review and comment. If you could mail those back to Mario in the design department by the middle of August, that'd be great. Pleasure contacting you as always! Sponsorially, Hank Sliplasterman Randsworth III Sponsorship Coordinator, Sportiva USA 11037 Las Putas Drive San Diego, CA 82316" Well, it looks like the sponsors are OK with the current arrangement. Time to get some things packed for the summer tour. See you at the Exit 38 stop on August 7th!

Keep that shit to yourself, pedo'.

It's dilation, amateur! And I bet you try to stealth-edit your post! That was a cheap shot, you rapscallion!

HEY FUCK OFF YOU TWO THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY THRED I'm a bit on th down side to TLG. I AM NOT READY TO GROW UP DAMN IT ALL Thats it I am climing my 3rd anual 29th b-day. Yer just gettin' old. Who said anything about growing up?

Hey, climbing on and off of your mother is enough of a workout, bubba.

You're nothing but a lycra clad dilettante. Go jam some escargot and fine wine up your ass. How DARE you speak to your father that way?! You're grounded for a week, you impudent little shit!

You don't recognize the police sketches of your own mother?!

"dilation"

Even after significantly dumbing down his contributions to this message board, you two apes are still jealous of Dr. Flash Amazing? Might try bathing once in a while, and maybe working on that wardrobe. And clip more bolts, for God's sake.

Now you're talking, Sawed Off!

Trask, have you made funeral arrangements and seen to your life insurance policy, you senile casket case? Run along and die, already.

Dr. Flash Amazing pronounces Greg dead, and unfit for human consumption at that.