Dr_Flash_Amazing

Ah, yes, putting the "ass" back in Christmas, eh?

The REI SUV has vaulted ceilings with huge, rustic glu-lam beams, and antique ice axe door handles.

And they're a bunch of liars, too? Damn, Trask! Check this action out; seems Shrub has provided the now dontopodal Trent Lott with a new poop-chute. Not a bad show by the Texan Terror. He even looks genuinely pissed in that photo. http://www.msnbc.com/news/845511.asp?vts=121220021740

Good info there, Scott. Jeez, every time you learn something about these clowns, it sucks!

It's all the black suits and fancy gadgets and whatnot. Have to uphold the agency's no-nonsense image, you know.

Caught with a hand in the geek jar! Guilty!

Well, Trask, DFA is no political science major, but it would appear from cursory examination that Scott is attempting to draw a parallel between one Adolph Hitler and the current leader of, as they like to say, "the free world." Interesting ...

Geekage.

Do the names [censored to protect the innocent] ring a bell?

"A Prairie Home Companion is brought to you by the friendly folks at Land's End, on the web at www.landsend.com."

Hmm. DFA outgrew the Patagonia jacket he had when he was a kid. You s'pose they'd replace that action, too? Perhaps with a nice new softshell piece, or some of them $70 hemp pants they got?

What's your problem, brah? You got something against Ella Fitz-G? You been quite the venter of vitriol lately, dude; where's the holiday spirit?

Damn, DFA would have postponed his residency at the Beverly Hills Institute for Breast Augmentation to catch that episode. Transformers + GI Joe = romping destruction. Yeah, boyyyy!

Are you really, Trask? Good for you. Miss Ella knows how to swing that shit! And you're a lucky bastard sipping booze already. T minus three hours to free liquor at the Outward Bound holiday soiree.

Actually, in his quest for the lyrics on google, DFA discovered it was written by Irving Berlin. But anyway, Billie and Ella both performed a few of the same songs, and, as far as DFA knows, neither of them wrote any. In any case, you can't go too wrong with either of them, unless they're backed by those damn sappy string arrangements. Big bands, please!

Ella Fitzgerald, anyone? *ahem* The snow is snowing The wind is blowing But I can weather the storm What do I care How much it may storm I’ve got my love to keep warm I can’t remember A worse December Just watch those icicles form What do I care If icicles form I’ve got my love to keep me warm Off with my overcoat Off with my glove I need no overcoat I’m burning with love My heart’s on fire The flame grows higher So I will weather the storm What do I care How much it may storm I got my love to keep me warm Yeah!

Yegads! It's the reprehensible Cobra Commander, and that inscrutable chrome-domed madman, Destro! Lookout, GI Joe!

Yeah, they are sort of "merging" with COBS. More like being subsumed. Might be a good thing for OB as a whole, but it's a bummer for all the people at PCOBS who are losing their jobs. Good excuse for them to drink, anyway. And DFA is engaged to a former PCOBS employee who is friends with a current employee, who is losing her job now. Dr. Flash Amazing may or may not be a real doctor.

Anytown, Young America, same thing. Anyway, the postmaster general knows damn well how to get packages to Dr. Flash Amazing. Technically, you're not even supposed to need to use the address, just scrawl "DFA" across whatever you're sending. Apparently, though, those whiny postal service employees were kvetching, so the Doctor cut them some holiday slack.

Nah, it's just some end of the season social function, and informally a farewell to PCOBS. The Doctor's never been to a BT&T, but they're s'posed to be pretty fun. Shit, DFA doesn't even work at OB.

It's "hoity-toity," brah. FYI. Just helping a brother out this holiday season, being a good guy and all that. Send gifts to: Amazing Clinic, Inc. Attn: Dr. Flash Amazing 123 4th St. Anytown, USA 55555

Well, like, duh and stuff.

Still working off that inferiority complex, eh, Sisu? Keep at it, fella! Perhaps a New Year's resolution: "This year I will accept the fact that I will never be on par with Dr. Flash Amazing, and I will be happy with who I am!" Repeat as often as necessary to stave off suicide.

Well, somebody's gotta be the worst at everything. For some reason, that somebody seems to be DFA more often than not. Hmmm. Anybody going to the Outward Bound cocktail party/holiday social thing this eve'?

Cancel that, Houston!