Dr_Flash_Amazing

That's a nice sentence fragment, you hopeless gaper.

Greg, don't forget to bring your weapons for target practice out at the Las Vegas Gun Club by the flood-control dam! A handy vacation hint from your friend Dr. Flash Amazing!

That's just the trad climbers.

'Cause you (that's the rhetorical "you," mind you) can push your soft simpering self and battle through all that shit. Overcoming is what's fun. 'S why Will Gadd will do 90 figure-fours out a roof and heel-hook up scant droolings of ice, why Chris Sharma will spend years falling off the same jingus pockets on French limestone, why Fred Nicole will twang his middle finger for a few more feet of action on a Fontainbleau blob, why Rheinhold Messner will breathe rarefied air and hallucinate up the highest peaks, why any of us will keep coming back for more slaps in the face and kicks while we're down; so we can muddle the hell through it and come out better or stronger or smarter or whatever, and hopefully take in some good views along the way. Or something like this.

Mmmm ... contriiiiived.

DFA's significant other is an administrator at a nonprofit alternative highschool, and she and one of the teachers there are working to get a climbing club started. Although in this case, it's disadvantaged youth (i.e. dirt-poor, gang-affected, drug problems, not always the smartest, etc.), not just minorities, but probably half of their students are black, on average. It'll be interesting to see what kind of turnout they get, if they get the thing rolling.

Alpine climbing is cold, miserable, and will kill you with falling detritus or man-eating crevasses. If a full rack, ice tools, action suit, etc. cost less than a block of Frank Endo, DFA would still be happily clipping bolts and lazing about in the sunshine. Climbing is fun as hell, but you can keep your objective danger, thanks.

Incur not the wrath of Dr. Flash Amazing and AmazingCo, Inc., lest ye wind up in the deepest of shit!

Trask, you silly cracker! Watch your mouth, you ignorant slut!

Climbers are calloused and chalky Takes more balls than fishing or ice hockey But bro, yes indeed It looks like it's your lead -- the next pitch is runout, loose and blocky

Trask, why don't you scrape the dried spunk off your face and leave the house once in a while, you two-bit manwhore?

Muffy, it's just a link to an article on MSN: http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=111898 Honest.

Who needs child porn?

Everlast never got a PAGETOP.

Hairy pits, patchouli ... what's not to be turned on about?

"one more round then it's bottles to the ground smash another glass an imperfect perfect sound gotta pull the plug, man when it's time to die oh whoah whoah whoah-oh bottles to the ground"

You used to be named Cheryl?

Well, DFA only lets his imagination sink so low when contemplating what Trask might be perusing for kicks. You never know; let it sink too far and it might never come back!

Hey, what is this shit? None of the Anonymouses are reading this fantastic thread, which is dedicated to them! How insensitive!

Trask, your mama called and said to tell you to quit huffing that airplane glue and get your punk ass out and find a damn job. She sounded kinda pissed, too.

big daddy crash-pad sit-startin' yo' bitch ass DJ Highball rock the house and smoke grass kicked outta El Potrero runnin' short on funds now Rancho Cerro Gordo belongs to Mexicans etc. etc.

Eh? DFA's eating Pad Thai, you buffoon. Keep your allegations of alcoholism to yourself, boozehound.

A cornifer?

DFA heard that, too, but apparently the ol' coot is still spitting out sound bites on the radio. What a trooper; way to go, Rush!

Mean nerd-geek hurt DFA's feelings, bring back awful memory of highschool when Chemistry Club president make fun of non-graphing calculator in math class. Thanks for tearing open scars, evil taped-glasses guy.