ivan

Climb: Mt. Hood-Coconut Cookie Crumble (Ore-gone's own Triple Cs!) Date of Climb: 10/28/2004 Trip Report: shredmaximus n' meself, being full of a healthy disrespect for productive employment, were to attempt the north face of hood y-day morning. this leads me to: NORTH FACE OF HOOD UPDATE: 1. sorry suckas, the road's gone! we drove to about marker 12, then had to snowshoe it from there. after this next storm cycle, i most imagine they'll gate it down lower. the last few miles of the road we drove, the tracks were so deep we were dragging the bottom. 2. as the pix show, all the gullies are in and covered in snow. most of the snow we encountered was very powdery and not adhering to the choss at all. no evidence of big avies at the gully bottoms, so i guess they're still building up. from the spur at day's end we did see a humongous spindrift slide pouring over a portion of the left gully though (i was so tired and -adled i thought i was hallucinating at first). the story: after consulting the weather-lords and ruminating on the recent conditions up in the hills, we thought it very likely that thursday would be the best day for getting dem fine, fine n face conditions. at first shred n' i looked to be joined by 2 other teams for a true cc.com flava-o-da-month-clusta-fuck-fest, but as it turned out, 1 decided not to, and the other, after seeing the depth of the snow down low on the hill, noting the relatively warm temps, and consulting their pagan dice, drove back round to the south side for sum wy-east fun. we headed up the trail in the dark 'roudn 130. the snow was everywhere deep and soft, and we set a new anti-howwit record for slowest ascent of the mountain ever. by the time we were in the vicinity of the n face gullies, we decided to change our objective, given the slow snow, the lack of a brain-bucket on my part, and the evidence of a storm to come in the early afternoon. we decided to climb one of the ice lines up to the spur, then maybe summit from there. we chose the line in the pic that connects directly upward to tie-in rock. as i still have no guide to the climbs in that vicinity, and i like naming shit that i have no right to name, we decided to call this one coconut cookie crumble, as the rock climbing/mixed portion of the climb was powder over unfrozen mud that disintegrated under picks n' points. (coconut slurpee is the other line that connects to the spur in the photo, to the right of tie-in rock) the climb had all the qualties i've come to expect from a good ice climb, namely: sheer terror and evoking littanies of profanity during the leads pat climbed pitch 1, about 50 meters to just below the rock band. very steep for the first 15 meters of so, then cruising all the way to the belay w/ one more short ice step. ice varied from sound to shit, w/ an uncomfy amount of unsupportive snow. no pro for pat at the crux! i lead the short second pitch which made up in unprotectable, unnerving, choss-ful exposure what it lacked in enjoyable ice. i climbed crumbly rock first right, then back left of the belay, ending up only 30 meters of so above pat on steep snow. pat no doubt was pleased by the incessant hammer-blows of snow and rock i cast down in my own operatic fearful search for holds that didn't turn to powder when squeezed or scraped. in gore-tex, w/ tools dangling from wrists and spindrift pouring over my unhelmeted head in the fall chill, i enjoyed practicing all those skills of laybacking and stemming i'd developed on warm rock in shorts n' t-shirt this summer we finished by traversing over to the spur below tie-in rock, where the day had grown late enough that the storm had materialized. we ditched the summit, enjoyed ourselves as only cravenly-hedonist climbers can, and walked down the spur in white-out and snow. as always, all props to the man w/ the cam for suffering the slow and the verbose

i notice that neither thread has gained much traction

i bet he'll be more inclined if hannah assures him there'll be footsteps to follow. why don't ya'll go wendsday so i can have it easier meself? looking forward to being one of the herd...

Nice! there's gonna be some company! i plan on hurling my feces at all lower parties down the gullies like some deranged, gore-tex glad baboon!

let's do it mike here's last year on nov 1...dammit, how the hell do you downsize pictures? the photo shit's all dif from how it used to be. this pic was in the tr from 11/1/03, but now the link's busted. i fear change.

wow, a lot more snow up there than last year this time. how was the road up? the ice at the gully start looks pretty well covered! i assume the avy/serac fall you saw was in the middle of the elliot? nice pix, man! thanx. actually the last 2 days of this week are looking okay now.

looks like there might be a window forming thursday-saturday. gotta do it friday then. it's not really getting all that cold though. will beat the hell out of work anyway.

wanna get up dis again disyer fall, thinking sometime in the next week or 2, whenever it get clear after some partly cloudy days and continuing cold. i'm definetly planning on skipping work if that's when the window comes up. can't do this saturday 'cuz i owe it the world to get insensible then. seems like it's snowing so much the cloud cap road will close 'fore too long. who's game?

use the tr search feature dude, that's what it's for! http://www.cascadeclimbers.com/threadz/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB3&Number=388603 mike and skyclimb's report (though what the hell happend to the pix? they were good!)

1. Mt. Adams - south side slog. the worst piece of shit i've done round here. millions of tourons on the trail, half a million camped below the false summit. at first i was willing to forgive all this after getting smoked down by complete strangers at the false summit, but then my anger came back w/ a vengance when i saw my puff perch was 12 inches from a pile of human excrement. 2. mt washington, north ridge. i downclimbed this and can't imagine anyone having hte patience to go up it. shitty rock. full fledged annoying scree pile to get up to it. 3. anything on hood after the summer's turned the snow to a slush-slog 4. broughton's classic crack...burnished slippery shitty basalt crack. 5. i regret to say i havne't climbed that many bad routes.

mt hood - north face in fall mt stuart - complete n ridge or don't do it at all mt rainier - anyway up that big bitch...kautz is my fav so far monkey face - gotta agree w/ the west face variation (but go left at the first set of chains) beacon rock - again, just about anyway to the top is fantastic. can't decide between young warriors (complete w/ updyke smoke-down) or dod's jam (harder) as my fav

it's death to go up there!!!

thanks for the info dave's website was a particular hoot...if i spoke espanol it would be easier to navigate (i like how you say "big wall" in spanish, for example).

last time i saw it it looked like my incontinent granny's asscrack. hmmm, that was 4 months ago... i'd imagine it'd be a heap more fun to just wait another month or so.

think these maybe what i have to go with...i'm kinda pissed at la sportiva though as the last 2 pairs of shoes i had from them all did the same wierd shit, where the entire lower soul delaminated, trashing the entire front toe area of the shoe, leather n' all so as to not be resolable

i looked at a pic of those on the 'net and thought they looked more like boots than climbing shoes. anyone used them and can compare?

did i not mention my feet are clown-sized? i think i had size 11 feet when i was in 6th grade.

what, you don't think it'll be hot, or are you just a non-fan of descriptive language?

seems like the hi-top shoe done gone outta style...i've never worn them. do they suck or something? they seem more ideal for alpine, but perhaps less good for masturating...er, cragg'n.

i liked the t-shirt quote: you suck and you must be punished

so i got monster size 13 feet and just can't make anything smaller fit...i also rip the hell outta my ankles all the time 'cuz i'm a shit climber. i wanna get some of dem fancy shoez that are more like 3/4 tops and protect the ankle, plus they gotta make'em in clown sizes. anybody got suggestions?

JEESSUS CHRIST!!!

woodsmoke still continues to ooze out of my pours i have a camp chair that was abandoned 'round the fire...waited till late sunday to pack it out. pm if you want it back. otherwise it'll add to the general white-trash ambience of my backyard.

dude,you gotta be able to climb 5.13 if you wanna monitor the birds! and falcons are naturally averse to shiny bolts, so better be able to do it on gear! shit, on reflection bill, you're probably perfect for the job.

you've gotten be fawking kidding....you're not really a human-being are you?