ivan

my second year of teaching one of my students went missing for a couple of months w/ no explanation - one day she showed back up again - hey, where you been? - oh, i just had a baby - oh? (the girl was a tanker for sure, and 15 years old to boot, but man, i thought i woulda noticed something - shit, i gotta say something to ease the social tension!) - wow, that must be very hard, being so young and having to take care of a kid and go to school at the same time - oh, it'll be alright, i've done it before, this is my second kid! looking around my room at that moment as she pointed out her baby's-daddy, i suddenly came to understand how so many hideously ugly females can get pregnant - there's no shortage of equally homely guys either

show me the stigmata!

and me too! so neither of us actually exist outside the mind of the Great Master Looney

i liked captain aubrey's comment in "masturbater and commander" more; to his doctor friend, the enligthtenment-era model of scientific sagacity, on the subject of existence of "jonahs" - "not everything is in your books, stephen"

HAMLET And therefore as a stranger give it welcome. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. But come; Here, as before, never, so help you mercy, How strange or odd soe'er I bear myself, As I perchance hereafter shall think meet To put an antic disposition on, (1.5.172)

wtf? "she" wasn't remotely believable from the start - i was immediately reminded of tyler durden's comment from fight club "strangers with this kind of emotional honesty make me go a big rubbery one" it seems best to assume that any avatar with less than 5 billion posts is actually dru

alright - i found the text, but i'll do be corn-holed by opheila 'fore i count down 160-some-odd lines - please provide numbered lines or choose one's leass than 10 (so i don't have to take off my shoes)

someone save me the damn trouble of looking oup the line - what the hell does this have to do w/ hamlet? sounds like our exploration of mars is ruining their atmosphere too!

That was me ya dick. All you had to do was ask me to flip the tape. I had tOAD THE wet sprocKet on teh udder side that was my introduction to the north-west, baby, and you were an integral part of it! smile - you made my life a more amusing thing for it all.

why worry 'bout next weekend? if you're listenign to counting crews and climbing like a madman this weekend, you probably won't see the next!

hands down, the place i've found the most inspiration's my fawking hot-tub - especially on a wintry rainy night w/ a 1/5 of something already gone missing.

there's always the desert...

dude - i'm from the 'couve! i just go to oregon to buy and ride taun-tauns!

world's tallest gravel pile what? no, just gravel pile - need it for the oregon merit badge though was hoping it'd still be mostly covered in snow in march all bets are off 'course if the weather's fine up north and there's a readily available mentally deranged partner around

not sure i want that kind of passivity in a partner - dude! - sounds like you shoulda beaten holy hell out of him on a couple of occasions! if only i could be so calm...

i only smoke my junk mail when i run out of banana peels

perhaps the short bus actually showed up today?

where's "removing the top of my skull so i can rub my brains w/ a steel-brush in the vain hope that i can forget the whole thing?"

Here you go Oly SLACK!

the timing of this wonderful verse cost me 3 minutes - i had to work to dislodge the fruit piece from mein septum after a giggle fit

i try not count my chickens until the pope shits in the woods

depends on how hung-over i'll be after mailing my fawk'n national board portfolios off!

or else it gets the hose!

i think that means "i have ten hamburgers" - better go back down there and straighten their little fat, young asses out!

i can't NOT look at it