Necronomicon

Ten hours from Bellingham to Banff. If you live in Kirkland and it take fifteen hours, you're a dumbfuck, for a number of different reasons. Regardless, I'm still looking for some beta on current conditions from the "climbing" community. If you read this, and actually possess information regarding a real, live "climbing" area, Lilloett, British Columbia, Canada, that you've visited recently, please save me from this hell("Which hand do you use when you belay? I use my right hand.") and let me know what you experienced. If you don't know shit, it's obvious enough to everyone, so don't remind us here, please, for my sake.

Name the famous rock star you'll receive your own private cage at Camp X-Ray!!

Where do I line up for my yellow star? INS?

The US policy vis a vis Korea is to invade Iraq.

We're Winning "The War on Terror"

Ew. Troglodites with drinks. I wonder which one passed out into the piss puddle behind the frat house.

Well?

I love soccer!

Fuck yeah.

What routes have you done up there? I have the summer off, and haven't made it up that way yet. Any reccomendations?

Lead Triad: Cat Crack Up From the Bog - I've heard it's sweet Pixie Corner Sprot: Choad Huffer Oscar Myer Whistle Golly, this is a real donnybrook Alpine: Solo "Deprivation" Golden Pillar of Spantik Solo North Face Central Rib of Triumph next weekend. And finally, How Can You Stand Reading This Crap on Mount Hugivzaphuck. That ones right here, in our own back yard. Erik-Quit deleting my posts!! I'm trying to enrich the world with my wit, and you're ruining it for everyone!

Post deleted by erik

I'm done for the day, waiting for my ride to take me home.

Post deleted by iceguy

If you cannot tie an overhand knot, you deserve a dirt nap. An improperly tied overhand knot is two untied ropes. Try rapping on those. You'll get a quick lesson on acceleration due to gravity and the conservation of mechanical energy.

In a fall, the rope wants to make a staight line between the top piece of pro and the belayer, so without a directional at the bottom, the pro can pull out from the bottom up. Arrange the directional in such a way that it can compensate for the distance the belayer is from the base of the climb by increasing the angle upward, as well as the length of the sling.

It's easy. Don't pay. If you get a ticket, don't pay it. Flood the system with unpaid fines and it will go away.

Do you like huffing gas and chewing seal skin for your mukluks? Oh wait, that's Chilliwack.

Hey! I just looked out the window and noticed the ENVIRONMENT! Is really exists! Take a look! Personally, I LOVE each and everyone of you, no matter how many death threats have been made against me, or how many times I've been called a bloodless communist, or the fact that no one will climb with me because of my disfigured face and prnounced limp. In the words of a great, great man, "Can't we all get along?" I mean, yesterday was National Sanctity of Human Life Day, and LOOK how we're acting!!

5.3d is much easier than 5.4, so I'm confused.

I have two stars!! I should have none!

Drainageaneering is so old school, with your seige drainaging mentality. Modern neohypolightweight drainaging abandons the tools of the ancients, like climbing shovels and belay rakes, and seeks a purity of movement that can't be found in "drainaging" routes put up by our elders. I am not diminishing the efforts of past drainers. The Lower East gully of Lower Goat Mountain (VI D3.7e Mung 5-) comes to mind. Put up over the course of eleven days in the March of 1978, the wettest March in recorded human history, this route pushed the limits of the possible. Tain Hurlong, a member of the first ascent team, recounted this story: "We were dug in at Camp IX. I was stuffing bark and lichen into the chinks between the rotten logs we had hung our hammocks from, in an effort to mud-proof our camp for the final push, while Malcolm was squeezing moss for drinking water, when we heard a noise above us. We looked up to see a wall of mud and debris heading down the upper gully towards us. Malcolm was lucky enough to be close to our wheelbarrow, which he hid under for protection. I could only clutch my climbing trowel and wait. The mud swept through our camp like a mud-spawned mud demon made of mud and stuff, and it was muddy and had mud all over it, but for the love of JESUS CHRIST Our SAVIOR and SALVATION, PRAISE BE to HIM and HIS HOLINESS, praise JEEEEEZUS!!!!!!!!!!! , we were saved. With great efforts, we finished the mung. Afterwards, while the guy at the gas station was pressure washing slime mold from my butt crack, he asked Malcolm how our drain went. Malcolm replied 'It was like I was dead, and Death was having sex with me, and he was made out of mud.'" Compare this with "Let's Hug all the Posers, Cuz' We Like You" (LCVIII D4.5y New Wave Mung +/-19) in Costa Rica. Put up by Guisdain Thibknob and Phagmiche Hoppalong in the Fall of 2002, "Let's Hug" ascends from sea level to 15,000', and boasts 37 different types of tree frogs along the way. The first ascentionists redefined drainaging with this route, and busted open the door to the future. Wearing only Vans, Cool-lots, mesh tank tops, Star Trek badges, and sharing a bag of flour between them, they blasted the route in six hours, 16 minutes, and 46.3275 seconds. Amazing! Did they use a shovel on the "I've been reborn" pitch? No. Guisdain used his urine to bore a hole through the wall of mud and owl pellets, while Phagmiche shored it up with regurgitated flour. Did they resort to mungtons of the 153rd pitch, the dreaded "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds" pitch? NO! The 80m inverted wall of slime that confronted them was asended by alternately standing on each others shoulders until they could reach the top. This...is the future of drainaging. MEN against gulleys, human against mud and sticks and stuff. Strategy is beyond the techniques. Technique is beyond the tools. Tools are beyond. Beyond is here. Here is now. Now is now. One...five...twenty...twenty five million.

Scarpa Cerro Torres

I love you GregW. I love you so much.

Trask climbs as much as GregW.