MysticNacho

I'm looking to spend the night in the west face cave on the monkey face. Haven't ever been in the cave, anyone know if its big enough to sleep in? Anybody ever done it?

Found this on a great website: A man's perspective: 1) When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak. 2) If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection ! 3) You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans it for you, provided you don't put it in too deep. 4) You can leave your protection in for the next guy. 5) There IS such a thing as being too overhung. 6) You can get belayed without first bekissing. 7) A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam. 8) No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on. 9) Having a belay slave is not a criminal offense. 10) The rocks never expect you to call afterward. 11) Dry friction is a positive quality when you're climbing. 12) The rocks don't care if you show up late. 13) The rocks don't complain after 7 or 8 pitches. 14) When you're climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight. 15) Your belayer never hesitates when you yell "TAKE!" 16) When you're climbing, weird body positions are considered "cool". 17) The rocks don't scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash. 18) The rocks don't complain when you don't want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face. 19) A three-finger pocket isn't too big. 20) You don't have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out. 21) If you pop off early, the only one mad at you is yourself. 22) If you end up with little bumps on your skin, you can probably blame Poison Ivy or mosquitoes. 23) The gear is safer. And reusable. 24) Chalk is easier to get off the hands. 25) No one thinks you're weird if you have to feel around for a hole/hold. 26) Climbing w/o gear is safer than sex without gear. At least if you die, you die fast. 27) Always something to do with your feet. 28) Routes have safety grades, sex partners don't. I've never had a partner with a G on her forehead. 29) Its ok to stick your hands, feet, fingers, knees, nose, etc into any and all cracks while climbing. 30) You don't have to wash your climbing toys after using them. 31) The positions are more fun. 32) Climbing gets safer over the years, sex gets more dangerous. 33) If you fail, you can always get a second chance. 34) Choice of novice or expert routes. 35) A climb can last all day. 36) Guidebooks tell you who did the 1st ascent and how many time it's been done. 37) Lots of tight cracks. A women's perspective: 1) The rock is always hard. 2) Rocks are never busy watching football when you'd rather climb. 3) Rocks don't complain about the kind of protection you want to use. 4) You can go climbing with another woman and nobody will call you names or hassle you. 5) You can use ropes and harnesses and nobody will think you're kinky. 6) You can go climbing any time of the month. 7) It's over when *you* reach the peak. 8) You won't die of embarrassment if your mother finds your rock gear. 9) If it's in too deep, you can yank on a nut. 10) Nobody ever got pregnant rock climbing ! 11) If you need something REAL big, you can always put in a Big Bro' ! 12) Your partner won't get mad at you if you bleed while climbing. 13) You can pick the length and diameter or your rope.

No, and no.

Trying to move my focus into the alpine arena, but I am wary of doing so without much alpine experience. Any of you willing to show me the ropes on some mountains this spring? I have free weekends......

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies...." Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Whoa look out! Its a smart blonde joke!

No, but I could tell you a good hamster joke. [ 03-15-2002: Message edited by: MysticNacho ]

sigh.... well, its happened before

do I know you chepe?

Doh! I got a two person ticket, but the number is high and mighty. Hopefully there will still be stuff left.

That guy is a machine.web page

He may have a name like Merlin Lipshits, but he also has a sweet job. Can't have the best of everything, I guess.

Oh man, don't tell me this crap guys, this is my first attempt to go to one of these things. I've heard the fuss about them for years, and finally decided to check it out. Wait until afterwards to poo-pah.

Hell yeah Icegirl! Keep the crap where it belongs! Trask tends to be on the humorous side though, so don't get all serious on us now.

Whatever happened to Sexual Nympho anyway?

Judging by the number of topics in the Spray arena owe their authorship to mighty Trask, and judging by the fact that myself, Trask, and one guest are the only ones in the Spray section at the current moment, I say Trask is shooting to become the future king of Spray!

crikey sakes alive! A beckey film? I've always wanted to go to one of these Mountain film festival things, maybe I will head down there this May.

That is the most shameless way to get to the top of a page. Where's the honor, the justice, the humanity for crying out loud?! Plus, who cares about page 31? Not I, cried the MysticNacho. Page 20? epic. Page 25? kind of glorifying. Page 30? has some value. Page 31? pathetic. See you on page 35, sucka.

Wow, Trask, can you imagine?! You could stroll into a crowded room and just let one rip. The loudest, most disgusting rocket poot you've ever heard. No holds barred. Just let that sucker fly. Conversation in the room stops, eyes go wide, people stare, some run for cover. You raise your arms triumphantly, and shout "NOBODY PANIC!! I'm wearing my new flatulence free undies!! " A brief pause to let that statement sink in ensues, and people realize the noticable lack of odor in the room. Now, the way I see it, one of two things could happen. The people either maul you alive for your lack of manners, or declare you a hero for averting a surely horrendous aroma. Sounds like some risk, but I say its worth it buddy. Better order a dozen. Social outcast or hero, its your call. Sure, you say, you might get clubbed to death with pointy sticks are something like that. But then they might declare another feast day in your honor as well. Now thats glory! Do us all a favor anyway.

crikey sakes alive! Too bad you guys won't be drinking together, a little alcohol sounds like it might induce a drunken brawl, which would be entertaining. No ice tools though!

I have to cast my vote on the bicolor, after having one I don't think I'll go back. But for my non-bicolor, I use the tape method. Sure, it will wander away from the middle and it will probably fall off after spending a day running through an ATC, but whenever I coil the rope or uncoil the rope, its not hard or time-consuming to check and see if its still in the middle. If it isn't, I yank it and replace it the next time I climb, generally. I tend to shy away from keeping the tape on the rope when its not in use. Sure, there are better ways with this sharpie business, but I get wide-eyed at the thought of drawing on my ropes. Taping ain't hard, and these other ways sound like a lot of effort, and damn I'm tired. Just be careful with it and don't leave your tape on the ground!

I wonder just how close this plant would be, are they talking RIGHT NEXT to the park as in the neighboring farmland, or across the highway, etc? Anybody know? [ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: MysticNacho ]

Clip and swing, clip and swing, clipping the rope as you go down, then pulling it through once all the bolts are clipped. Not that I've ever felt the need to pre-place anything, but that's how I'd do it. Or you could have a bad-ass lead it, that's even better.

Again trask, I ask why.

I have two orders of business regarding Mr. Dru. If you disagree with my claim that even Dru must concede that he invents problems in order to provide himself with an excuse for making a fuss, then read no further. This march into profligate mandarinism is not happening by mere chance. It is not, as many conceited segregationists insist, the result of the natural, inevitable course of things. It is happening as a direct result of Dru's pompous proposed social programs. Even people who consider themselves maladroit, callous killjoys generally agree that if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less demented than Dru. His anecdotes are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. As you can see, Dru has written volumes about how every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that if we let him overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of his own base nature, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. Pardon me for not being able to empathize with impolitic traitors, but his devotees are easily manipulated. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further. Viewed from all angles, if Dru wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this post with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. He sees all the evidence, but he is reluctant to accept the conclusion that he asserts that his philosophies can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. As I noted at the beginning of this post, such conduct as Dru's induced the despotism of Cromwell and the two Bonapartes. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that there is a problem here. A large, wretched, featherbrained problem. His minions have shared the rostrum with drugged-out prigs at recent symposia. Let me explain. It has been brought to my attention that passion precludes his ability to ignore trivialities and to concentrate on the important aspects of the problem. While this is true, it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to discuss the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. To inform you of the grounds upon which I base my criticisms, I offer the following. Dru says that he is a model citizen. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. I wish that some of his allies would ask themselves, "Why am I helping him intensify or perpetuate mercantalism?" Should we be concerned that he wants to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt a sex-crazed lifestyle? I'll answer that question for you: Yes, we should indisputably be concerned, because it has been said that his bedfellows have been arrested in numerous murders, violent assaults, and bank robberies across the nation. I, in turn, think that it's easy to tell if he is lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying. In order to understand the motivation behind Dru's policies, it is important first to respond to Dru's epigrams. So Dru thinks that he can ignore rules, laws, and protocol without repercussion? Interesting viewpoint. Here's another: He is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his diatribes. He argues that I am beer-guzzling for wanting to delegitimize him. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago. Dru's hired goons have learned their scripts well, and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. When I look back I think, "There must be justice for all of us or there will be peace for none." While the question of who is right and who is wrong in this case is an interesting one, it is also something that I cannot and will not comment on, and not just because Dru really struck a nerve with me when he said that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. That lie is a painful reminder that Dru makes it sound like he's some perfect angel of unstained ethical standards. But it goes further than that; Dru has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and shout obscenities at passers-by -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. One doesn't need a finely developed sense of irony to note that I shall return to this point in particular. And that's why I'm writing this; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to maintain social tranquillity. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that his prognoses are a cancer that is slowly eating away at our flesh. I know you're wondering why I just wrote that. I'll explain shortly, but first, I should state that if Dru gets his way, none of us will be able to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Therefore, we must not let Dru overthrow democratic political systems. Dru possesses no significant intellectual skills whatsoever and has no interest in erudition. Heck, he can't even spell or define "erudition," much less achieve it. I'm sorry if I've gotten a little off track here, but he would have us believe that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. If you want to clear up these muddied waters with some reality, then tell everyone you know the truth, that you might say, "Dru would rather talk about making changes than actually make them." Fine, I agree. But Dru will probably never understand why he scares me so much. And he does scare me: His ethics are scary, his snow jobs are scary, and most of all, there are some insane anarchists who are warped. There are also some who are grumpy. Which category does Dru fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both". It is not uncommon for Dru to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole foolish affair as some great benefit to humanity. On the surface, it would seem merely that like other lazy, deplorable bloodsuckers, he has a finely honed ability to sentence more and more people to poverty, prison, and early death. But the truth is that he is afraid of change. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. Bookish reprobates simply pass through this world sowing the seeds of evil. You might insist I'm telling you this because I like to beat up on Dru. Really, that isn't my principal reason. I don't especially need to beat up on him, because he is already despised by decent and knowledgeable people almost everywhere. While these incidents may seem minor, if he wants to complain, he should have an argument. He shouldn't just throw out the word "superserviceableness", for example, and expect us to be scared. (Yes, his flimflams serve no purpose other than to hijack the word "mechanicocorpuscular" and use it to destroy our moral fiber, but that's a different story.) Dru's warnings will have consequences -- very serious consequences. And we ought to begin doing something about that. Given what I know about sick scamps, I can say with confidence that Dru argues that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: There are three fairly obvious problems with his imprecations, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward voyeurism. First, there should be a law against this. Second, phallocentrism is a weapon of stoicism. And third, he should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory. While it is not my purpose to incriminate or exculpate or vindicate or castigate, if Dru had done his homework, he'd know that he claims that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. Predictably, he cites no hard data for that claim. This is because no such data exist. We must do what needs to be done. Our children depend on that. Mr. Dru is not interested in a true and honest improvement of social conditions, but rather in a way to twist the truth. And that's all I have to say. [ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: MysticNacho ] [ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: MysticNacho ]

Thats just downright disgusting. Why? Why Trask why? My position on the ladder of humanity has been lowered just by reading that. I am now something less of a human being. Thank you Trask, for this wonderful little story. Heres a cleaner joke instead: A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other." The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely." The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "And here's another miracle. Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. He then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..." hehe this joke gets me everytime. Laterz!