pope

Bullshit. BTW, Coach is about 10 times smarter than you.

Bug, thanks for the entertaining story. I've got some hitch-hiking stories....a little off-topic but what the heck. In high school my folks dropped off my buddy Joel and me for our first mountaineering experience, a winter attempt on Eagle Peak in MRNP. Crawled into the sleeping bag with tremendous optimism, only to wake up with warm rain puddling in the tent, pitched at the base of a big avalanche slope. We had read this could be dangerous and decided to ditch. Down at Longmire, Joel ran into his high school shop teacher who had been tubing at Paradise. It seemed like the fastest way home, so we rode in back of the truck on top of the tubes. I remember a bouncy ride, with empty beer bottles being handed through the cab. I also remember seeing caution signs for sharp corners while the shop teacher accelerated into the next gear. Also in high school, my ride didn't show up after drama club one snowy evening. I thumbed a ride from a kid and his dad. There's a long, steep hill on the way up to my parent's house. The kid's dad thought he'd better get a run for it. He accelerated into the dip below the hill, where the icy road was particularly crowned. The truck spun completely around, off the road and over a 45-degree, 15-foot bank, pointing nose down. All the weight of the truck was held by a vine maple, and since we had no seat belts, we were all pressed up against the windshield. We scrambled out through the sliding rear window. In college I climbed in Leavenworth with a kid who borrowed his dad's Suburban. The tranny went out and his dad figured he could tow it over highway 2. After Steven's Pass, things got a little crazy as (with no seat belts, again), when we reached speeds of 45 mph, the harmonic swaying between the two vehicles got to be so bad that we went out of control, swerving back and forth completely across the highway. The kid's dad was fighting the steering wheel and yelling, "Come on you bitch!" As soon as he regained control, he would bring the speed back up to 45 mph and the show would continue. Repeatedly. By the time we got to Monroe, I thought, "F*&%k, we're gonna die on 405." But the vehicles jack-knifed at the intersection where you get on 522, ripping the bumper half off the Suburban. He banged it back into place with a 10-lb hammer, and was ready to go, when I jumped out and walked back to Monroe. I called my dad and he said, "Son, you made a good choice." Here's another good one. My Yosemite trip fell apart when my partner bailed. Down at the U.W. rock I met a guy who said he was just getting back into climbing (claimed he was a stud in the 1970's). I thought I'd better go to Leavenworth and climb some steep shit with him just to ascertain that he remembered how to tie knots. After a day on Castle Rock, it was obvious that despite his enthusiasm, he wasn't in Yosemite shape. Which was too bad because he was really fun to pal around with. Won't tell you his name...probably everybody who's climbed at the U.W. rock has met the guy. After climbing at Castle, we stopped at Safeway to get a 6-pack. He started hitting on some 14-year-old girls. "I've got to settle a question for myself. You two aren't sisters are ya? I mean you're both really cute, and I could see where you might be sisters, but I just have to know." He was probably 34 at the time. He wanted to show me a route he'd done in the Pinnacles. The 6-pack was gone when we arrived. We farted around for a bit, then picked up 12 more and started driving up to Steven's Pass. I suggested that we should get rid of the empties. "Good idea!" He threw them out the window. Going up a hill where two lanes are available for uphill traffic, I pulled into the passing lane. He started freaking out. "Dude, YOU'RE OVER THE CENTER LINE! YOU'RE OVER THE F&%@ING CENTER LINE!"

....if you apply a vacuum force to objects you insert in your mouth.

I have climbed with "John The Gambler". He is a REAL professional. Is he still missing?

I think the imposition belongs to those who think they can do whatever they want to disfigure public property.

Oh we must..... Best thing you could develop is a little pride, an ethical code that precludes sport climbing.....and some balls.

Come on, kid! This is America! Recently at a party I ran into an old jr. high buddy. He used to be kind of a rascal and a lot of fun to get in trouble with...eventually he dropped out of high school. Since then, he worked hard, saved his money, bought a couple of low-budget rentals and is now a slum lord. He lives in a big house on a lake, drinks fancy booze and has a very young, busty knock-out hanging all over him. I'm pretty sure she's legal....maybe she owes him rent? If he can figure it out, certainly Mr. History-Major-from-a-Fancy-College is smart enough.

Cake model for the Erotic Bakery.

Here's the quote in question: "Read a little history and you will find that since rock climbing emerged as a sport apart from mountain climbing there has been a general trend where each successive generation's improvements are criticized by the prior. Roped belaying was decried by some in the early 20th century, pitons in the 20's, aid climbing in the 50's, and even cams were said by some to be cheating when they came out in the '70's." Here's what you did, MattP, which I think does illuminate your "take" on modern bolting practices (and if this doesn't do it, remember that only the uninformed novices and nonclimbing land managers are unaware of your activities that have contributed to the problem). In the italicized paragraph above, you entered into a discussion on bolting and brought up this supposed historical criticism of "improvements" in rock climbing, as if to put into historical perspective the current criticism of excessive bolt application. Clever subtext to readership: today's bolting critics are just afraid of anything new and their rants can be dismissed since they are clearly taking their place in history as a generation of nonadaptive, xenophobic fossils. By comparing bolting opponents to such "historical" critics of equipment improvements, you are necessarily comparing bolts to what have been considered legitimate improvements in climbing technology. Also, it is not my intention to stir the pot. Not everybody vocally in opposition to your views is merely trying to create a disturbance. Furthermore I have never advocated a no-bolt approach to rock climbing, although it would be an improvement on the current state of the sport. I have heard Don advocate no bolts, and you are very close to it. So lets step back and get the historical perspective. Short synopsis: Royal Robbins was one of the earliest who postulated that with technology, humans could theoretically go anywhere. Since we climbed for the adventure, it only made sense for us to arbitrarily draw a line in the sand "for ourselves" on technology's use so as to maintain that spirit of adventure. Somehow that has gotten twisted now by some jackasses to mean that use of bolts should be illegal. Frankly, I climb at 2 parks occasionally. Beacon Rock State Park and Smith Rocks State Park. Using your thinking, they should not be putting in pavement as that permanently leaves scars in the land in a major way. Nevermind that people who want to just drive to the park to have a picnic will all get screwed. They should not put in water spigots LIKE THEY BOTH HAVE as the construction to do so permanently scars the land in a major way. Fu*k thirsty people, let them get water at their homes eh? They should not put in campsites LIKE THEY BOTH HAVE as the construction to do so permanently scars the land in a major way. Fu*k the campers eh? They should not put in trails LIKE THEY BOTH HAVE as the construction to do so permanently scars the land in a major way. Both places have hammered and pounded the crap out of the rock to make trails, in a major way. Of course that screws the hikers. Nevermind that you can hardly see the bolts they are so small. Just another user group you want to get the shaft. As far as that goes, by your thinking, roads should not be in place at all. Even the non-paved logging roads to your lil out of the way crags tear the holy hell out of the land. Well, when you stop living in a house or using wood in any way, or stop driving to your favorite climbing spot on that major pavement that permanently scarred and tore the holy hell out of the land, maybe we can talk about this. Until then you're just another loudmouth hypocrite. You really want me to read all of that shite? Dude, stick it in a couple of short paragraphs. Make it like....the old 1-2 knock out.

Pink...like the image. Chunga's Revenge.

Because it seemed irrelevant to my point, I omitted it. My point is that by reminding everybody that there exists a history of criticisms of new technologies, which you called improvements, you seem to suggest that the current criticism of bolts is a continuation of this pattern....a tendency for some to criticize technology improvements. The statement you wanted me also to include when I quoted you only suggests that sport climbing might not be the pinnancle of development. It does nothing to reverse your implied comparison of bolts to previous improvements. Furthermore, I don't believe I've ever predicted via ferrata rigs on boulders.

Here's the quote in question: "Read a little history and you will find that since rock climbing emerged as a sport apart from mountain climbing there has been a general trend where each successive generation's improvements are criticized by the prior. Roped belaying was decried by some in the early 20th century, pitons in the 20's, aid climbing in the 50's, and even cams were said by some to be cheating when they came out in the '70's." Here's what you did, MattP, which I think does illuminate your "take" on modern bolting practices (and if this doesn't do it, remember that only the uninformed novices and nonclimbing land managers are unaware of your activities that have contributed to the problem). In the italicized paragraph above, you entered into a discussion on bolting and brought up this supposed historical criticism of "improvements" in rock climbing, as if to put into historical perspective the current criticism of excessive bolt application. Clever subtext to readership: today's bolting critics are just afraid of anything new and their rants can be dismissed since they are clearly taking their place in history as a generation of nonadaptive, xenophobic fossils. By comparing bolting opponents to such "historical" critics of equipment improvements, you are necessarily comparing bolts to what have been considered legitimate improvements in climbing technology. Also, it is not my intention to stir the pot. Not everybody vocally in opposition to your views is merely trying to create a disturbance. Furthermore I have never advocated a no-bolt approach to rock climbing, although it would be an improvement on the current state of the sport.

That's never been the stance. Rocks can't be hurt. They don't feel. Bolts hurt climbers. They turn us into pussies. They make climbing too easy. Plus they're ugly and alien to the mountaineering medium. Now, I know that sage MattP will gladly compare bolts to other "improvements" in climbing technology and remind us that, like bolts, these improvements met similar opposition initially. What he will avoid pointing out is that unlike dynamic ropes, sticky rubber, SLCD's, front points, etc. etc. etc......the choice to bolt completely changes the climbing experience for everybody, not just the party who decides to use them. Since good cragging is somewhat of a limited resource, the best choice is to restrain ourselves when applying bolts.

Call in sick for work, tell your wife you're going to work. Why didn't I think of that?

Every problem in this world can be dismissed by the existence of a larger problem? Does a larger pile of shit across the street make the pile under your shoe smell sweet? Remember, those who participate in climbing would be wise to protect and preserve the medium, and the spirit of adventure that have made climbing easy to distinguish from table tennis and yard darts....although that boundary is certainly more fuzzy than it used to be.

Improvement? What improvement? We're talking about sport climbing.

And first place in the division. Hopefully a few more people will be healthy in two weeks. We still have the problem of poor run blocking and a highly paid back who can't run without great blocking.

Never been there. Looks kind of stupid. I'd rather see no climbing than sport climbing. Just don't go around suggesting those are the only options. There's top roping, free soloing and bolt protected climbing established on lead.

Hey whippersnapper, I have a question for you. Before sport climbing, with its bolt trails, its crowds of limp-wristed hangdoggers and all of the impact attendant thereto.....did climbing exist?

Thanks for walking me down Memory Lane. This BB used to have class.

Is it still there? The Extreeeeeemmeee squeeze job? Not for much longer. And not that is not an excuse to start grid bolting other horrible routes. That trail is in need…..since the popularity is getting out of hand, the trail keeps falling down the hill. All involved with development has helped out at one time or another with the trail. But, every year it gets worse and worse. The best time to fix it is in the winter when the ground is soft. Summer is a bitch to dig into ground out there. Thanks in advance for all your work…..PM me and let me know when….I will try to make it to help out….I could potentially get others to help as well. I've got an idea that will save everybody much trouble. Chop all the bolts! Then the popularity of the spot takes a nosedive and Mother Nature will mend the trail.

I'm thinking that if the sling was clipped on the FA, why not add a bolt a couple feet down from where the piton is?

I don't think Hasselback is the problem. Combine a pampered Alexander with an O-line that can't run block and that gets zero push on short yards...that's the problem. At least in the first few games the pass protection (easiest kind of blocking) was pretty good. Now that's gone to heck too. Looks pretty grim. But as for Hasselback....remember that broken 4th-quarter play against Arizona which resulted in a turnover? When the ball was on the ground, Hasselback was actually fighting to recover. Alexander just stood there with his thumb up his butt. Hasselback is talented and competitive. The rest of the offense is collapsing. Prediction: 7-9 followed by Alexander retiring.

Reminds me of Zappa's "groupie routine", something everybody should hear once. Here's a script of one variation: I mean, really, really, I mean, you guys, What can I say, you guys are my favorite band You gotta tell me somethin', Are you here in Hollywood long? I mean, I just... No, I'm ah, we're recording here in town You're recording here? Yeah, at the Record Plant The Record Plant? Yeah Oh, Bobby Sherman records here I just love Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy Do you know David Cassidy? No, I... Have you ever run into any members of the Tree Dog Night? Joe Shermy once I... Oh! They are my favorite band! They're so professional, I mean... So creative... How 'bout David Crosby? I mean... He's so in, you know, I... No, I never... He's...he just knows... I mean, he almost cut his hair but he didn't No, listen, ah, do you know how... Do you know how to get to the Chateau Mormon from here? Not exactly...is it by the, by the airport? No no, we don't, we have a bus on this particular thing Oh! Yeah Tell me one thing: do you like my new car? Oh yeah! It's a...Pavilion, isn't it? Oh, not just a Pavilion, it's a Pauley Pavilion Oh! Yeah, it's real futuristic, I like the little naked man turn signals So ah, we gotta get up, you know, And ah, go to the studio in the morning And then we groove court for about two weeks And then we ah, we leave again Oh, really? Where do you play when you go from here? Ah, let me see...Needles... Oh oh! You guys are so professional No, it's nothing... I mean the way you get to travel to all those exotic towns You get to playin' and playin' in all these great sounding halls Tell me somethin': do you really have a hitsingle in the charts now? Right now, I mean, with a bullet? That's really important Listen baby, would I lie to you Just to run my fingers through your pukes? Don't talk to me that way! I am not a groupie! I never said that... I'm not a groupie Neither are my friends here Jim and Ian and Aynsley and Don and Frank None of us are groupies Pleased to meet all you girls Hiya Howie... Tell 'em, tell 'em, we don't...we aren't groupies Howard Yeah We only like musicians for friends That's right You, you know, you understand? We still wanna hear your record You know, we still like to come in your bus Listen now, on the other side of the record, Didn't you say that you got off bein' juked With a baby octopus and spewed upon with cream corn? And that your hair-lipped queen-o-bassplayin' girlfriend With the cross ties and the tits on her shirt Had to have it with a hot Seven-Up bottle or you went up the wall? Oh! Howie... What's the deal, mama? Howie, all that's true, Howie And sometimes I even dig it with a Jack-In-The-Box ring job But Howie, we are NOT, we are NOT groupies, Howie I told Robert Plant that I told Elton John I told Steve Stills Yeah And he didn't even wanna ball me I can see that... Listen, the thing is baby, I want some action, you know I'm only here for a couple of weeks, Recording at the Record Plant With that naked statue in the bathroom and stuff... I'm horny as fuck! Listen to me... I want a steaming, succulent, juicy, drippy, ever-widening Kind of a smelly, slimy, many folded, Sort of in-and-out contracting sphincter Kind of a hole with a, with a, with a... Let's see, there's gotta be a way I can put this discreetly Let's say we hop in the isle over those guys And the blewin' FUCK BABY! Hey, hey, hey! I'm in this band man... I told you that many times No matter what goes on Listen! It just so happens tonight I mean, this is unbelievable Are you a Virgo No... I mean, it just so happens tonight Me and my girlfriends, well, We came here lookin' for a guy from a group Ah! But just not ANY guy from ANY group Yeah... We're lookin' for a guy from a group with a DIK Well, I can show you! But he's gotta have a dik which is a monster! (Wow!) That's me! You peeked! That's me, you little Westward wench nipple-queen! Take me, I'm yours, you hole. Fulfil my wildest dreams! Oh! Anything for you my most seductive pop star of a man. Yeah? Picture this if you can Okay, I'll try... Bead jobs Knotted nylons Bamboo canes Three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Fighting at the Fillmore East. Oh! Two unreleased recordings of...of the Grateful Dead, Sitting in with Mel Torme Yeah! No! I... Oh! Man! Oh, I, I just... I can't stand it! Do you understand me baby? I mean, I can't stand it! I can't stand it! I can't stand it! ... I gotta see my baby! I gotta... I can't stand it!

I've seen Max. That's one intimidating bear of a dog.