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if god exists, evidence he's an asshole...


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pre-cooked weight i reckon. came home from work one night. had a beer. stomach felt kinda funky. still, was hungry, so figured what the hell? a whole pack a bacon oughta set it to rights :)


i don't remember the date exactly, but i could figure it out easy enough. i'd just gotten a national geographic in the mail that day - the cover had a huge great white coming out of the water, face-first, jaws wide open. i set it atop the porcelain god for later reference and soon find meself looking down that fucker's huge gullet each time i was emptying mine - a wonderful mental connection that will last until the alzheimeric fugue descends upon me that no doubt i'll have deserved as well :)

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sheeit, heated b-room floor transforms the experience entirely - hardly a hardship thataways, more like a anorexic teen's wet-dream :)


i ain't ordered a southwest chicken sandwich from subway since my last memorable public food fuckup....

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Did I mention the overhead heat lamp? Your heaving, shivering body is gently warmed from both sides. The raja slate, the black granite - it's almost a cleansing mini-retreat, really.


My 2nd bout was courtesy of Taco Bell, I believe. That's our traditional family junk food station we're talking about - the ultimate betrayal. Meatless burrito, too. No kangaroos were harmed in the making of this disaster.

Edited by tvashtarkatena
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