Tutorial - Pooping at Work

[Bronco]

I was putting in a contact this morning in the office restroom and some uncouth Neanderthal just walked right past me to the stall and started pooping like I wasn't even there. Please try to keep the following protocol in mind at the office and take care of your business at home if at all possible.

 

[video:youtube]gUEu0O_oo0g

[olyclimber]

I normally work from home, but went into the office yesterday. Of course I had to poop, and during my efforts there was someone in the next stall over engaged in a furious texting session with his button noise turn up top volume. All I can say is that he obviously deserves some award for productivity if it was work related texting. Either that or he was transcribing War and Peace onto his phone. I was in there for some time and he was in there before me, and he was still pounding away at his phone after I washed my hands (! of course!) and left.

 

Personally I like to take the time out and meditate and center myself during my time on the bowl.

[rob]

[olyclimber]

Not as funny as the sign that was in the said bathroom I used yesterday. There used to be a sign (i think it was directed at the large contingent of Indian workers in the building? Obviously some cultural differences ) that said don't stand on the seat and squat to take a dump.

[olyclimber]

was sort of like this but had a couple of other methods too:

 

[ivan]

i'm digging the crapper perks at my school - 1 man at a time w/ a jet-engine exhaust system to give you a little slice of bliss for focusing on your chi

 

better still is the janitor's hand-scrawled sign on the wall just outside the door: "do not eat or store trash in this hall"

[denalidave]

When I'm at work, uptower in a wind turbine, I use the same pooping method as for backcountry crapping... Pre-made "shit kits" (paper towels, TP, baggies, kitchen garbage bag and hand wipes)... Carefully place paper towell on ground, squat, aim, fire, fold paper towel over contents, double or triple bag, then sneak into partner's pack/tool bag... Bonus tip - An empty nut can or Gatorade powder can is nice for after bagging.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

 

There's nothing worse than squatting down on a shitter at work to pinch a loaf, and have water splash up your ass crack and balls with the first depth charge. Fuck I hate that.

[Bronco]

There's nothing worse than squatting down on a shitter at work to pinch a loaf, and have water splash up your ass crack and balls with the first depth charge. Fuck I hate that.

 

I think it's called the "Parachute" method where you strategically place some TP in the bowl before you sit down to gently catch the deposit and mitigate the splash factor. It's an old carpenter trick for using Sani-cans on job sites to avoid the blue splash of shame.

[G-spotter]

There's nothing worse than squatting down on a shitter at work to pinch a loaf, and have water splash up your ass crack and balls with the first depth charge. Fuck I hate that.

 

bidet after shitting, not before shitting.

[G-spotter]

[Pete_H]

I was putting in a contact this morning in the office restroom and some uncouth Neanderthal just walked right past me to the stall and started pooping like I wasn't even there. Please try to keep the following protocol in mind at the office and take care of your business at home if at all possible.

 

[video:youtube]gUEu0O_oo0g

 

Could be your co-worker is former military. In my experience military dudes don't give a fuck who they poop around. Do they not have stalls in the Army or what?

 

[Bronco]

Good observation Pete, now that you mention it, the company he works for gives strong preference to hiring vets.