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can the wrong people be right for you????


erik

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ifyou know me this is an old rant....but onoday..but one that resurfaces a couple of times a year.......

 

okay personal bit.....

 

 

have had this g/f she was great blah blah blah.....though after the 1st 1.5 years.....we reconized that maybe her and i were not always the perfect match.....had our hiatus.....and another round and more hiatus....then we both finally had it....and left the scene with no intentions of reliving past history......

 

well b4 i went on my little trip..........contact was restablished and prmosies made.........came home witgh a present....

 

so we move to this week.....i am pretty much bummin about my general state of affairs as of recently.......got hit with a HUGE bill......got disowned by my family...(and i mean big time) so now i have no fmaily and little money...the weather sux and i have little interest in skiing....kinda boring right and the conditions(IMHO) suck...........though i can run like a mother fucker and have read like 3 books.........

 

so as i move back into this persons life....i have to ask is this the real deal...or am i travling back up the wrong path......

 

it seems weird as we had been to the point where friends were divided up and each told the other to fuck off and die......

 

what the fuck am i doing???!?!?!?!?

 

though all i can say after know this person for 3 years........no matter what even after all the shit...all i can do is smile....though the sad thing is i am curretly contemplating a major move here in the near future............and in some ways i think she is too...but prolly in another direction....(we have never gone in the same direction)

 

i will say her life style appeals to me more and more and more....(a life without climbing????) and i think that my current and past lifestyle apeals to her more and more(not neccesarily climbing(she can follow .10 trad and has never got a piece stuck, though only ever climbed cuz of my obsession)) but vagabond and just chillin not really taking into account the result of our actions.....

 

so what the fuck>!>!>!>>!???????

 

opinions????

 

 

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I'm not the same person I was three years ago. Life has given me some other priorities. Made me think about my actions now and then...

 

Some times giving it another chance is not always a bad thing.

 

You may find it good or bad, but at least when you are 50, and looking back, you won't think... "gee, what if..."

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I agree with Icegirl and Trask. If you're returning to that well, you better have your shit straightened out. OPENLY communicate about what each party wants, plans, etc. Lay it all out on the table up front; why waste another 1.5 years to figure out you two are STILL not right for each other. This is where I agree with Trask: if, after that talk, shit don't jive just cruise. Oh, and don't do anything rash.

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Erik my dear it is not about finding someone who is perfect fo you... it is not about finding THE person, because there are in fact many. Love and long term are about finding what you can live with.

 

If she has grown more understanding of your needs and you of hers than perhaps you are in a better place to try again. I am no expert, and perhaps you are bored and lonely... But a woman who will be with you in this time when you life is challenging and filled wiith struggle is a woman that perhaps you should take another look at. Any woman can be with you when you are flush and have green in your poackets and all is well. It takes a strong forgiving woman with a deep respect for you and a great deal of love to stand by your side to the best of her ability as you wipe the mud and shit from your face and wonder what just happend to you.

 

I am sorry for your pain.

 

Families are not the people we are born to, but the people in life we are drawn to.

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DROP HER LIKE A HOT POTATO

 

 

there are too many fish in the sea to keep catching and releasing the same one over and over my friend.

 

As for your family disowning you, why worry about some people whose only relation to you is biology. I think the real family is the people who Choose to like you, not the people you happen to be related to. That said I totally like my family.... but if you dont dont get beat up about it

 

As for lack of $$$ it sux. You can always take dirt jobs? A buddy of mine just got back from 6 months of climbing in South Asia and is currently gigging as a life drawing model, he gets paid $50 to stand nude in front of art students for 2 hours a day. Or you could go help tex on the snaffle ranch. snaf.gif

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But a woman who will be with you in this time when you life is challenging and filled wiith struggle is a woman that perhaps you should take another look at.

 

Not necessarily. Can we say "co-dependent"? Or one of those "mommy-types" who wants to protect little Erik.

 

Bummer about your fam, dude. I do agree with Muffy and Dru; take this from some one who was estranged from his parents and sibling for almost 4 years. I feel a stonger bond of fraternity to many of my friends in the climbing community than my blood 2,500 miles away.

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I agree greg, one must avoid the co-dependent type... but one must not be a fair weather friend either, big diference between ' mwaking it awwwllll bweter' and being loyal.

 

Hey Erik if you want x-mas dinner I am making crab cakes and clam chowder... let me know laugh.gif

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S'matter muffy aint you a turkey girl? Crab cakes? CRAB CAKES??? Rhat some kind of Druid solstice thing or WTF??? You think when the 3 Wise Men showed up in the manger Mary was passin' out the Crab Cakes to them??? Dont fuck with tradition - serve snaf.gif pie if you gotta innovate.

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