[TR] Beacon Rock - Young Warriors 8/25/2013

[Avalanche_Lilly]

Trip: Beacon Rock - Young Warriors

 

Date: 8/25/2013

 

Trip Report:

Hmm it's forecasted to rain everywhere this weekend, let's stay in town. Saturday morning: hey look it's raining let's stay home. Sunday morning: hey it's not raining, let's hit up Beacon! Climb Team: Preston, Hye, Toddipoo, Dills. Goal: Young Warriors, which all the cool kids keep talking about, and if you know me you know I want to be cool.

 

Preston has climbed the route before so he and Hye go first. Hye leads P1. Then I lead P1. It's 5.8 mellow with lots of bolts. I plug in some gear cuz I can. What is it about alpine that makes you run it out like a badass but when you're cragging you sew it up like a bitch? I don't even have enough slings because I just brought my alpine rack from last weekend.

 

Preston leads up P2. Plaidman appears above us on a different route. "How do you like the butthole pitch?" he calls out. "You call it the butthole pitch too?!" Preston asks increduously. The roof does form a somewhat tubular sphincter. Toddipoo leads up next, he's terrified of the choss below the butthole "That's one dirty butthole" but the crack above the butthole you can sew up nice. It's the only real place where you have to use finger jams on the route as well. Todd made it look easy as usual.

 

Hye has already led up and Preston has taken off by the time I reach the top of P2. "P3, your lead, there is only one move of 5.9" says Toddipoo. Ooh I get to lead 5.9 and be cool? I want to be cool! I go to place my first piece above the anchor and a cute little frog peaks out 2" from my face to inspect what I'm doing. This pitch was cruiser with just a little tricky smeary dihedral with a pin in the middle of it. Hye was belaying Preston out when I arrived. "We should climb something together, just the two of us," I told her. "We need to earn hot crusher babe street cred." "Sure I'd love to!" Hye replies, "Except, you can be the hot babe and I'll just be the crusher. Oh wait that's not what I meant! I mean, you can be a crusher too!" Ha ha ha oh that Hye, so modest!

 

P4. Todd's lead. It gets darker and colder. The wind picks up. He's up and it's my turn to go. I head up and cannot get a #1 cam out of a crack. It's walked too far in, is overcammed, and attempts to pull on the trigger even with my nut tool are futile. I keep at it, trying to manually push back the lobes with my nut tool, and then the cloud above me explodes with fat raindrops. This ain't no drizzle, I am getting soaked in a matter of seconds. I realize time is of the essence. I try, I try, and then I say fuck it, I need to move before the rock gets any wetter and abandon the cam in the crack. Now I realize I was already fucked and should've tried harder to get the cam. Climbing has become an exercise in futility. The rock is not only wet, but the mixture of dirt and lichen powder coating it has transformed into a slick greasy mess, I can barely hang on to jugs. I climb my hardest till I come to the slab traverse with the pin in the middle, and my shoulders slump in defeat. Wet slimey slab with no holds. There's no way I'm getting out of this one unscathed. I begin up the left side, slip, slide down it like I'm on a slip-n-slide, and pendulum oh a good 10 feet. I totally screamed like a girl. It's ok, I'm a pendulum master. My expertly trained senses flare alive, my head snaps to look where I'm headed and I catch myself with bent knees. I head up to try again but my resolve is lost. I inch back out across the slab and I think I might have started crying. Crying on top rope. I was just really indignant that I had lost that cam, and if I hadn't wasted time on that cam I would've been able to climb this part when it was dry, and now I was fucked both ways, and how could the world do this to me, and how was I going to make it across this slippery death slab. In times of extreme duress my mind likes to latch onto a mantra and repeat it over and over. This time the catch phrase was 'I GOT NOTHING!' (in reference to holds of course) . Somehow I made it past the crux slab without eating shit again and climbed the last part of P4 wailing "I GOT NOTHING!" the entire way.

 

They tell you never climb with your knees, but that's bullshit. There is a much higher coefficient of friction when you climb a wet slab with your knee than your slick rock shoe. On the down side, I think my new khaki-colored pants are ruined.

 

LUCKILY Hye was already leading up P5 when the downpour happened, and was able to climb to the top! She saved us all!! We're all climbing the rest of this bitch on top rope. It may be 5.easy when it's dry but the rain has turned it into 5.12. I tie in 10 feet behind Preston and drag up my rope till I can belay Todd in at the top. The rain had stopped and we were in high spirits again and frolicked back down the trail, laughing and joking and none of the hikers could tell that just 30 minutes ago I was having a complete and utter meltdown, desperately cursing "I GOT NOTHING!" at the heavens, alone on a friction slab in the rain.

 

In summary if anyone happens to be on Young Warriors soon and is feeling so kind and gracious as to get me back my #1 cam near the start of P4, I will give an autographed photo of myself climbing Vesper in my bikini, plus my eternal gratitude!!!

 

 

Gear Notes:

single cams up to a #2 although you could find places to stick a #3 if you must, at least 10 draws

 

Approach Notes:

crocs

[KaskadskyjKozak]

 

"That's one dirty butthole" but the crack above the butthole you can sew up nice. It's the only real place where you have to use finger jams..."

 

Hopefully just the pinky

 

 

[ivan]

funny, i was chuckling like an asshole when i drove through the squall line, heading home from beacon, thinking of the folks i'd just seen up there soon to be slip-slid'n away in it all

 

i'll be out there tomorrow and will swing by to see if the sharks ain't snapped it up already.

[dougd]

I head up and cannot get a #1 cam out of a crack. It's walked too far in, is overcammed, and attempts to pull on the trigger even with my nut tool are futile. I keep at it, trying to manually push back the lobes with my nut tool, and then the cloud above me explodes with fat raindrops.

 

Next time try looping a couple stoppers over the trigger if ya can hon. Might work...

 

I like your style, keep em commin'

 

d

[Avalanche_Lilly]

That was you with Plaidman, right? Ha ha fortunately I was the only loser slip-sliding away, being last in line. It's prob for the best as I endure humilation quite well and often.

[ivan]

That was you with Plaidman, right? Ha ha fortunately I was the only loser slip-sliding away, being last in line. It's prob for the best as I endure humilation quite well and often.

naw, i was bumming round w/ the powderhound, good n' hung over after a night climb of the corner n' howling at the moon till dawn - think plaid was climbing w/ geoff - i ain't pretty, but at least i look a mort better than them two troglodytes:)

[YocumRidge]

Yep, that was Jeoff w/ Plaid, while Crackman and I were trudging up Jill's Thrill in the rain, my favorite thing, and dropping gear no less. "What was it?" - Jeoff:"Must be a rabbit". Must be a new thing at Beacon I was not aware of - rabbits jumping out from the cracks. Thank gawd for the straight down rap bolts on JT - makes it easier to get down in the downpour. Katie and Toddipoo were not that lucky on YW .

 

I will be there in the AM tomorrow and will look for her cam, but I bet you can extract it more masterfully than me.

 

i ain't pretty, but at least i look a mort better than them two troglodytes:)

I don't know about that...Plaid lost 60 lbs in his prep for ElCap and is looking ripped. Chicks dig it .

 

[ivan]

wow, beacon was just bristl'n w/ bad-asses n' cascadian legends yesterday!

 

that old boy matt, soloing up jills n' then free climbing grudge book probably takes the bell home though...

[Avalanche_Lilly]

Aw man one day I wanna be old skool cool enough to get drunk on Beacon and party all night! Have you ever hauled up a bbq grill?

 

Thanks for looking in advance, Ivan and Ana! You guys are swell!

[pink]

i always hated that pitch being called the butthole pitch..... i always referred to calling it "tagging the brown star" .....

 

 

 

[ivan]

is that sloan from "newsweek!?!"

[pink]

g-spotters trophy wife

[ivan]

Aw man one day I wanna be old skool cool enough to get drunk on Beacon and party all night! Have you ever hauled up a bbq grill?

 

Thanks for looking in advance, Ivan and Ana! You guys are swell!

think ole'nastia done snatched it away from me before i could claim the prize

[Avalanche_Lilly]

No Ana said she didn't find anything either! Thanks for looking though. Luckily I am INCREDIBLY RICH.

[ivan]

this is why i place voodoo curses on all my cams shortly after removing the price-tags and slapping some nail-polish on them ::

[Plaidman]

Nice TR Avy. I was with Geoff that day. We just did the Corner with the Uprising finish. Felt cheated. You guys got all the adventure. Nice job. Geoff and I got our route done in sub 2 hours. Felt like I was running up the damn thing. Sure love a good rain storm though. Totally forgot that you guys were up there. It really came down in buckets as I was driving to Starbuck's to interview Matt about his Wild Turkey's and Grunge Book FFA's. I wrote the Wild Turkey's one on my blog at:

http://blog.oregonlive.com/climbing/2013/08/beacon_rocks_first_513a_-_wild.html?fb_action_ids=653910374627507&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=s%3DshowShareBarUI%3Ap%3Dfacebook-like&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B562693743801292%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.likes%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B

%22s%3DshowShareBarUI%3Ap%3Dfacebook-like%22%5D

 

All the best to ya and keep firing. I seem to see ya all a lot around about.

 

Plaid

Edited August 30, 2013 by Plaidman

[LostCamKenny]

 

Ha - this is funny! Were you guys carrying a sewing machine on the rack too? Never seen the 4th pitch stitched up like that. Did ya not see the bolt directly above where the cam was stuck?

[toddipoo]

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

 

I dont understand why there is always some douche who doesnt know anyone involved that finds they need to make some comment like that somehow showing how much more superior of a climber they are? I didnt see the bolt above me and the low angle stuff was still damp so yes I sewed it up like a bitch because I refuse to get injured on an easy low angle section like a few other people I know.

 

I just hope one day I can be as good as you so I can look at other peoples climbing as inferior and wait I wont do that because im always pysced about people climbing and could care less about how bad of a job they do in one part because they are scared.

 

I just hope one day I can be as good of a climber as you Kenny

[ivan]

i think kenny's capital crime here was the lack of emoticons

 

knowing that old boy, he was just having a friendly laugh - afterall, that muthafucka lost more cams out at beacon than anybody and for a guy's who done the corner a gazillion times, he could probably place a good bit less gear too

Edited September 16, 2013 by ivan

[Avalanche_Lilly]

In other news, our non-internet-savvy friend just told us he finally figured out he had bootied our cam, hooray!

[Cobra_Commander]

It's pretty standard for self-appointed beacon locals to make fun of other climbers for not knowing the perfect foothold or placement on one of the 8 routes they climb.

 

I always feared the butthole pitch, more than any of the others.

[G-spotter]

bacon rock definitely seems marbled with mediocrity, but if'n it's the only game in town then everyone will play it right?

[ivan]

plenty of nice folk out there, and while i typify the mediocrity mentioned above, there ARE some extremely strong folks getting off the beaten path too

 

i, for one, like to see folks ('specially when they're not butt-ugly old guys) making their first trip to the bacon-wand and having fun on a classic route ('specially when they leave booty behind )

 

if you liked young warriors, come back and give jill's thrill or right gull a whirl.

[Cobra_Commander]

Bluebird looked like it was in need of some traffic last time I was there.

[ivan]

i've never understood why it doesn't get the same amount of traffic as blownout

 

it's a shame flying swallow's last 2 pitches aren't at ground level too, as they're spectacular, but i never seen anybody on them