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Hey "I'm a Mormon" ad campaign...


tvashtarkatena

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Mtguide - that was a great piece of writing; and spot on. In the '80s I drove long haul, racked up a lot miles across the south. I got some unbelievable tickets from those crooked ass southern cops. Thankfully I'm white so all I got was tickets, and all they got was cash. It would have been a hell of a lot worse if I was black.

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Mtguide is spot on about those hatin' Texans. I "lived" in Houston for 3 years one decade about 30 years ago. Talk about a bunch of shitty-assed, überproud, bigoted, fuckshite wanker racist rednecks. Had my motorcycle stolen right out of my driveway (they chop-sawed down the light standard that it was chained to), had beer bottles thrown at me or into the wheels of my motorcycle while riding on the 610 Loop, had a pistol pulled on me by a BMW-driving yuppie shithead on the Loop cuz the fuckwad wouldn't yield as he was entering the freeway and I was trying to exit, and any number of other lovely "southern greetings" while in that shithole. I didn't leave a thing there when I left, so I have no goddamned reason whatsoever to EVER go back to that bug-infested shithole of a town. JUST NUKE 'EM!!!

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Mtguide is spot on about those hatin' Texans. I "lived" in Houston for 3 years one decade about 30 years ago. Talk about a bunch of shitty-assed, überproud, bigoted, fuckshite wanker racist rednecks. Had my motorcycle stolen right out of my driveway (they chop-sawed down the light standard that it was chained to), had beer bottles thrown at me or into the wheels of my motorcycle while riding on the 610 Loop, had a pistol pulled on me by a BMW-driving yuppie shithead on the Loop cuz the fuckwad wouldn't yield as he was entering the freeway and I was trying to exit, and any number of other lovely "southern greetings" while in that shithole. I didn't leave a thing there when I left, so I have no goddamned reason whatsoever to EVER go back to that bug-infested shithole of a town. JUST NUKE 'EM!!!

 

So....I'm gonna take a wild guess you don't like Dallas?

 

Back in 86 or 87 when I was too stupid and drunk to care I said out loud in a bar in Wichita Falls "if there had been a back door at the Alamo, there wouldn't be a Texas today". Wow, how I got out of there alive and relatively intact is beyond comprehension.

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So....I'm gonna take a wild guess you don't like Dallas?
You should be playing Lotto with Einsteinian powers of deductive reasoning such as those... :)

 

Back in 86 or 87 when I was too stupid and drunk to care I said out loud in a bar in Wichita Falls "if there had been a back door at the Alamo, there wouldn't be a Texas today". Wow, how I got out of there alive and relatively intact is beyond comprehension.
Jeebus, Doug, WTF were you thinking??? :eek:
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So....I'm gonna take a wild guess you don't like Dallas?
You should be playing Lotto with Einsteinian powers of deductive reasoning such as those... :)

 

Back in 86 or 87 when I was too stupid and drunk to care I said out loud in a bar in Wichita Falls "if there had been a back door at the Alamo, there wouldn't be a Texas today". Wow, how I got out of there alive and relatively intact is beyond comprehension.
Jeebus, Doug, WTF were you thinkingdrinking??? :eek:
fixed that for ya!
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The underwear ain't secrete. I find it amusing that they go through genealogy records and find close or distant family members. If they find you, and there is no record of you being a Mormon or attending a Mormon church, they can retroactively make you one.

 

One day your dead and cruising around the boring standard heaven, but the next thing you know you've entered Mormon heaven and can't get out.

"Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid. Well, now I'm ready to go to Heaven and be with Jesus, and...hey? Hey, what's this? Oh, God it feels like a man's DICK IN MY ASS! Oh, GOD!!! I'M DEAD!!! Oh, you mean life keeps on fucking you even after you're dead? Oh, it never ends! OH! OHHH!!!"

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