mtnrgr Posted September 8, 2002 Share Posted September 8, 2002 (Warning Beware of Chestbeating Bullshit) Trying to prove my Alpine Hardman ability,I just completed an epic of epic proportions: the rarely attempted Mt. Si-Haystack enchainment. After honing my alpine skills at Spire Rock and the ultra exclusive Ft. Lewis Rock Room, I felt ready to try the first ascent of "Mega Gumby". I don't want to get into the numbers game, so I'll just say "Mega Gumby" was way harder than anything I've attempted before. Which all of you know I on-sight 5.14d, so Mega Gumby could possibly the worlds first 5.15b/c. I'll let future ascentist squabble over such details. I started at the Mt. Si at 11:55:25, carrying of course a full rack, rope, and 20 essentials like I was taught by my Basic Mountaineering course. The approach bushwack was disheartening, at times I never thought I would summit. I overcame my doubts, and reached the summit ridge of Mt. Si bloodied and exhausted at 13:45:15. After consuming some Gu, I made the periless traverse to Haystack. Not being able to find a partner able to make such a ground breaking climb,(House and Twight were both busy, something about washing their hair) I was forced to climb solo. Anyway the rockfall would have easily killed any belayer. I barely survived only by wearing a Kevlar helmet, flak vest, eye pro, and elbow and knee pads. On pitch 3, I was alarmed to hear the hunting cries of a large snafflehound. Thank God, I had remembered to pack my bolt gun. The crux move is on pitch 6: a double dyno from a figure 4 on micro crimps to a tiny pocket only my left pinky could fit in. After that it was only 5 easy pitches of 5.13. On the summit boulder I had 360 views of North Bend, I-90, and Seatle. However the views and elation could not last, fearing HACE, hypothermia, and hypoxia I was forced to beat a quick retreat. Eleven death-defying rapells later I was back at the summit ridge. Knowing most deaths happen on the descent, I cafefully made my way back to the car. Total time car to car: 4 hrs 35 min 32.67 sec. I believe that is a record but I have not consulted my Hiking Washington guide book yet. Next weekend, I will attempt the never before tried UW Rock-REI Spire enchainment in a day. The crux I am predicting should be the traffic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted September 8, 2002 Share Posted September 8, 2002 Good job, glad you made it back in one piece, but I'm sorry to report that Agent Orange/Crazy Polish Bob did that route in 4 hours 28 minutes way back in 1999. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To_The_Top Posted September 8, 2002 Share Posted September 8, 2002 Great TR I do have a few questions about your climb. Did you see that snafflehound on top of the food chain namely the Cougar? Gear: did you go with plastics? You should make an attempt on the cable route of Tiger, but I have heard this wouldnt be a first ascent. By the way time doesnt matter if you did it in style. TTT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allison Posted September 8, 2002 Share Posted September 8, 2002 I heard one of the camera crew got attacked by the North'Teryx Rep near the summit. Is he OK? Why'd the rep go ballistic anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted September 8, 2002 Share Posted September 8, 2002 quote: Originally posted by allison: I heard one of the camera crew got attacked by the North'Teryx Rep near the summit. Is he OK? Why'd the rep go ballistic anyway? According to http://www.8000metremixedboulderingenchainementnews.com, there were not enough oversized sponsor logos showing to satisfy the contract agreements, and something about not getting the logo in "the money shot" back in the tent at base camp, whatever that's about. Fortunately, the rep was weighed down with 83 pounds of stickers, banners, brochures, and "My Hubby Sent Hardcore All Weekend and All I Got Was This Way Rad $250 Arc'Tierra Designs Schoeller DrySkin Extreme T-Shirt" t-shirts, so he was unable to inflict much damage before the team eluded him. Nonetheless, it sounded like a frightful incident. The video footage is positively pants-wetting. [ 09-08-2002, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr._Ben_Krazy Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 hey, i did read your note about the ascent of the Haystack/Mt. Si enchainment. A BIG FAT DONKEY DICK LIE!!!!!!!i was there on sat afternoon and sun!!!. yes snomobile tracks, but not a single human track on the trail. we walked right past the gully on the ridge. can you fly? we went up on the colouir, not a single track on the trail, though we were sinking mostly mid calf. we were able to see out tracks there on the way out a couple of miles away. your claim of the ascent is a FUCKING LIE. i will write about it on the web page and call your bullshit. if you climbed it, you'd have to leave the tracks in the gully to the ridge!!!!!!!! A FUCKING LIE!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 Hmmm. Now I've heard this reply somewhere on the boards before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 quote: Originally posted by mtnrgr: Total time car to car: 4 hrs 35 min 32.67 sec. Nice time. You must have had a good parking spot. OK folks, the challenge has been made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 quote: Originally posted by chucK: quote:Originally posted by mtnrgr: Total time car to car: 4 hrs 35 min 32.67 sec. Nice time. You must have had a good parking spot. OK folks, the challenge has been made. This leads me to believe he was under the influence of performance enhancing horsecock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nolanr Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Dr. Ben Krazy is Agent Orange! Damn, that guy just keeps popping up everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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