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Jake Porter to the rescue!


rmncwrtr

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Billcoe's musky man scent drove the Husky wild! In a vain attempt to stop the lurching pup, Billcoe's leg strained, and he tumbled into the crisp, virgin snow...plunging to its very depth. He immediately felt a sharp stabbing pain, a pain like he had never felt before. If it didn't feel so bad, well, it might have felt good. But unfortunately Billcoe was in the wrong kind of pain, and his mind immediately lept to the date he would miss with that woman with suspicious facial hair and an adams apple. she was so mysterious, so intriguing! how would he ever get down this infernal mountain to her loving arms??? he heard the bellow of the husky, and felt it pawing down into the snow, and finally its tongue lapping up the musk of his manly scent.

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The husky was determined to drag Billcoe out of the deep, deep, virgin snow so as to lap up all the musky scent of our hero, much of which had frozen to his lower leg during his mishap. The dog went crazy, yipping and snapping and Billcoe had to beat the dog off in order to save himself. He struggle to stay afloat in the deep powder snow as the now wild animal was barely beaten back. Then he hear a dull roar...what could it be? Rescue? Yes! A Snowcat!!! But...alas they could not hear poor Billcoe's calls for help. In fact, they were on a beeline for his exact position, and he realized that they could not see him in the driving snow.....

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With thoughts of the woman with facial hair on his mind, he felt the Snowcat slowly grind over his body! He could hear the wimpering dog backing away from its crushed prey. The dull roar of the Snowcat engine was all he could hear...but amazingly the Snowcat just pushed him down into the powder! He would live! Little did he know of Mazama climbing group teamed up with a Mountaineer group that was following the Snowcat though....

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I guess I'd better change the story so that your imaginary girlfriend isn't doing your imaginary best friend Porter! BTW, Is this going to end with the dog finishing itself off by having it's way, sexually, with my crushed and immobile body? Cause I don't think even Mel can rework that to make it sellable!

 

Don't be writing this dog in either....Chihuahuas don't sell.

Penolope_small.jpg

 

This Mt Hood speedclimbing wonder pooch below could do the job I bet...seen here finish a tiger in 30 seconds.

doggiestyletiger.jpg

 

I need to change up that Canyonlands poster up there to read: MOUNT HOOD, COME FOR THE CLIMBING, LEAVE WITH AN STD

 

Man, guys can't comprehend the whole romance genre can they?

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