kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds". Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breast s larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid, stupid man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_like_sun Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 HOLY SHIT KEVBONE....... you fucking ROCK! I feel for your husband, because I have a very similar and equally sick sense of humor.... I REALLY like that one! My girlfriend complains that her boobs are too small too. I just tell her that if I were a girl I'd want small boobs! Then she says that my "pecks" are bigger than her tits........(NO, NO, THEY ARE NOT; plus, shes TINY, only like 110lbs, of course she's got small breasts!) fuck, what should I say? I was like "hey, lady, I happen to be very proud of my nicely developed pectoralis majors...." Then shes like "you GUYS are SOOO insecure"....... I couldn't think fast enough at the time for a sly response because my brain just went "oH shit, lobotomy time.." "We're done!" Then I just told her that giant thumpers would detract from her utterly adorable smile and eyebrows.... Things are OK now. Geeze, I think I might have to try the toilet paper theory though. That was REALLL, REALLY GOOD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 HOLY SHIT KEVBONE....... you fucking ROCK! I feel for your husband, because I have a very similar and equally sick sense of humor.... I REALLY like that one! Thanks...you realize that it was a joke…..I did not correct it to be coming from a man because I was under the impression all who viewed it would just laugh because it was funny. I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_like_sun Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Wait, are you a man or a woman? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Don't go there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? Hmm. As a moderator I can't find any conformation that Kevbone is male. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 He's dumb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 He's dumb. Yes...I am dumb, therefore a female. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_like_sun Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Well, if the dude is a chick, what does that make the rest of us? I personally am a hermaphrodite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 He's dumb. Yes...I am dumb, therefore a female. rub toilet paper, daily, between the lobes of your brain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Just don't use more than one square Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 Holy crap (no pun intended), only one square? One square would not do the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Holy crap (no pun intended), only one square? One square would not do the trick. She's hardcore. I recently did my part by using recycled toilet paper to start a cooking fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I recently did my part by using recycled toilet paper to start a cooking fire. That explains the crust tvash was complaining about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 Holy crap (no pun intended), only one square? One square would not do the trick. She's hardcore. I recently did my part by using recycled toilet paper to start a cooking fire. Does that make your food smell like shit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 We weren't barbecuing steaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 i_like_sun brown trout filets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerJ Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think all public restrooms need shaved ice dispensers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think all public restrooms need shaved ice dispensers. What are you trying to say? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? it depends on what role pinkeye played the night before...they alternate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Yes folks it's time for, Chick for a Day. Our next contestant is Kev Bone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? it depends on what role pinkeye played the night before...they alternate... :lmao: Thats funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 thanks for playing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 thanks for playing. That is not funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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