kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds". Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breast s larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid, stupid man Quote
i_like_sun Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 HOLY SHIT KEVBONE....... you fucking ROCK! I feel for your husband, because I have a very similar and equally sick sense of humor.... I REALLY like that one! My girlfriend complains that her boobs are too small too. I just tell her that if I were a girl I'd want small boobs! Then she says that my "pecks" are bigger than her tits........(NO, NO, THEY ARE NOT; plus, shes TINY, only like 110lbs, of course she's got small breasts!) fuck, what should I say? I was like "hey, lady, I happen to be very proud of my nicely developed pectoralis majors...." Then shes like "you GUYS are SOOO insecure"....... I couldn't think fast enough at the time for a sly response because my brain just went "oH shit, lobotomy time.." "We're done!" Then I just told her that giant thumpers would detract from her utterly adorable smile and eyebrows.... Things are OK now. Geeze, I think I might have to try the toilet paper theory though. That was REALLL, REALLY GOOD. Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 HOLY SHIT KEVBONE....... you fucking ROCK! I feel for your husband, because I have a very similar and equally sick sense of humor.... I REALLY like that one! Thanks...you realize that it was a joke…..I did not correct it to be coming from a man because I was under the impression all who viewed it would just laugh because it was funny. I did. Quote
AlpineK Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? Hmm. As a moderator I can't find any conformation that Kevbone is male. Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 He's dumb. Yes...I am dumb, therefore a female. Quote
i_like_sun Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Well, if the dude is a chick, what does that make the rest of us? I personally am a hermaphrodite. Quote
Dechristo Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 He's dumb. Yes...I am dumb, therefore a female. rub toilet paper, daily, between the lobes of your brain Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 Holy crap (no pun intended), only one square? One square would not do the trick. Quote
catbirdseat Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Holy crap (no pun intended), only one square? One square would not do the trick. She's hardcore. I recently did my part by using recycled toilet paper to start a cooking fire. Quote
rob Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I recently did my part by using recycled toilet paper to start a cooking fire. That explains the crust tvash was complaining about Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 Holy crap (no pun intended), only one square? One square would not do the trick. She's hardcore. I recently did my part by using recycled toilet paper to start a cooking fire. Does that make your food smell like shit? Quote
RogerJ Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I think all public restrooms need shaved ice dispensers. Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 I think all public restrooms need shaved ice dispensers. What are you trying to say? Quote
RuMR Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? it depends on what role pinkeye played the night before...they alternate... Quote
AlpineK Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Yes folks it's time for, Chick for a Day. Our next contestant is Kev Bone. Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 So Kevbone is a chick? it depends on what role pinkeye played the night before...they alternate... :lmao: Thats funny. Quote
kevbone Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 thanks for playing. That is not funny. Quote
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