Girl Repellent

[specialed]

Well you stated your problem righ there dude, you don't go to local sport crag and flex and pose wear tight lycra and throw wild dynos and heal hooks on the routes you've got wired. If anything will attract the Prana/Ropegun pseudo-climber babe set that will do it. Your just not being superficial enough that's your problem.

And while climbing might not be the number one babe magnet in the world would you really want to spend time with a girl who doesn't climb?

[Guest]

Sounds like a story behind the story...

[pope]

Mr. Dwayner,

I've found just the opposite to be true. You see, as I confessed to Pope, I'm an exhibitionist...that is to say, I thoroughly enjoy climbing for an audience, and I must say, mountain climbing is one of those things, like fighting fires and choreographing a river dance, that the girlies find sexy.

I once knew a fellow who had Joshua Tree's Gunsmoke traverse completely wired, and when he saw a car load of girls heading over to Barker Dam, he knew exactly where they were going, and he'd sniff that out every time. Just like that, the goal for the day would change from climbing to "hunting". He'd go over and work that problem, throwing in all kinds of cosmetic Frenchie moves, and these gals would just eat up this action! Learned a lot from this clown, I did. Ever since I got a harness and a rope, I've got girlies coming out my ears, the kind of problems I only used to dream about having.

[This message has been edited by jkassidy (edited 06-05-2001).]

[jblakley]

Yeah I'm not really bogged down with integrity on this issue. I like trad and I like sport. Trad and chicks however do not seem to mix with some exceptions (don't hurt me Donna :-)). Call me shameless but I actually enjoy watching the female form in skin tight clothing dancing up a sport route. Hell I even talk to them sometimes...and sometimes they talk back!! For me there is definitely a social element to climbing i.e. it's nice to get some occasionally.

Of course if you're married or with girlfriend it takes on a different dynamic..or not..right Pope? <snicker>

[pope]

Let's just say I've got too much love for merely one woman (that was Lou's problem too).

[Charlie]

I hear ya brother. The problem is- girls are ultimately attracted to the fact that a guy climbs- very fit, couragous, doesn't sit and watch football every weekend, usually well travelled. But what they later realize is that a climber does just that- climbs, all the time! Ive chose the mountains over women many times, and many times Ive lost them because of it.......to hell with 'em. Ive got the rest of my life to be domesticated, why rush it?

[Doug]

Back when I was single, the women who wanted to commit to go climbing on the weekends were few and far between.

Now, I've got 2 women in my life (wife & daughter) and it's even gotten worse!

Face it, unless you are extremely lucky, it's one or the other.

Dwayner, think it might have something to do with the alcohol volumn? Maybe you should try seeking out the Elizabeth Shue charachter from Leaving Las Vegas!

[jblakley]

That's right Brotha Charlie. Who needs women when you have two perfectly functioning palms. Remember if you can't love yourself you can't love anybody else.

[pope]

Dwayner,

Ever consider that little Texas firecracker, Jenna Bush? You could keep her supplied and out of trouble with the authorities, be her sugar daddy. I'll bet you could get a free Golden Eagle pass from the Dept. of the Interior if you play your cards right.

 

[Dru]

Palm hair scientifically shown to minimize incidence of frostbite by 37.833%

Look at Beckey - he named Vasiliki Tower after Vasiliki and she left him for a circus strongman. moral of the story: don't try to impress your girlfriend by naming stuff after her. so pope if you do some first ascent of a horrible flared, dirty, dripping wet offwidth, better not name it "Donnas Crack" You could name it Erik's Crack though.

[Dwayner]

Fine discussions, mis hermanos! Hey! Whatever gave you the idea that I drink a bit of al....................cohol?

Douglas! Haven't seen the Leaving Las Vegas movie, but it sounds like somethin' worth watching. Are the booze scenes good or is it just a bunch of gambling, tits and mayhem? Are they serving up doubles and triples or just candy drinks, you know, daiquiris, Long Island Ice-teas, crap like that....(By the way, a lot of those girlie-drinks [sorry, ladies] were respectable back in the day when Trader Vic's was in full swing!)

Mr. Kassidy: this Jenna Bush.of whom you speak...uh...does she like married men?

So one of Fred Beckey's girlfriends ran off to the circus, eh? Interesting life, that Bread Fecky. He once told me that his brother Helmy was a swimsuit model. But that's neither here nor there...Try this on for size...I've met a few dudes who have tried to get some sympathy mileage out of "my woman doesn't understand my climbing". (The opposite of the classic refrain in "Theme from Shaft"..."no one understands him but his woman.....John Shaft!....They say that Shaft is one bad mutha [prompt interruption by chorus of girls:] Shut yo mouth! [apologetic resumption of lyrics by vocalist:] Just talkin' 'bout Shaft!!!") This woeful approach can be used to get a free drink from your buddies, or a hug and maybe more from some new female y'just met in the bar. My opinion? Buck up, matey! Save the whining for filling your SUV with overpriced gas. Tell the girls you're some sort of day-trader (rather than admitting to unemployment) or that you got some fancy upscale programming job with stock options (instead of confessing that you work in some sort of miserable rock-gym). Once they dig you for your loveable, lieing personality, you can drop the bombshell about the mountains and so forth. They might think it's cool and first but once they find out that you'd rather be out craggin' with your buddies on the weekends, well, watch out my friends!!!

- Dwayner......hiccupp!

P.S. I LOVE!!!! watching reruns of "The Love Boat" just to catch Isaac the Bartender serving up them drinks with a smile and a double-finger point! Looks like Shangri-La to me!!!

[Dwayner]

Greetings Fellow Crag-Hoppers and Alpine Hone-Dogs! Been thinkin.....(hey, just a second, I gotta grab a cold one from the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeefriger-a-mater. O.K., now where were we?) Climbing has 1) never helped me get a girlfriend, 2) has never helped me keep a girlfriend. In fact,I've come to the conclusion that climbing is a bona-fide girl repellent. (I mean real climbing; not that wimpified, take-my-girlfriend-to-the-bolt-grid-sport-climbing mish-mash). And let me apologize now to the ladies, since this is more or less directed at the dudes, but your opinions on the subject would be more than welcome. (Can't speak for the women because I ain't one.)

I've witnessed many shameless attempts to lure the more sophisticated gender with tales of daring feats (usually interpreted as egotistical spray), bouldering moves (incomprehensible as worthwhile by the uninitiated) and gear demonstrations (yawn inducers). Perhaps the most pathetic thing I ever witnessed was a number of years ago, while driving over Snoqualmie Pass, I was ordered to place a climbing rope in the back window of the vehicle in order to attract girlies. And what were the expections with that stupid scene? Were girls supposed to flash us, motion us over to the next exit and then beg us to give them vicarious route beta while they mauled us with love? Forget it! I suspect that many of the fellers out there invite girls along because they want to, you know,......Come on, dudes, strip away the flimsy veneer of self-delusion and you know it's true! This primal urge could, in fact, be a less recognized force behind the sport-climbing craze, where it seems that there are lots of boys and girls climbing together. (And to head off some of you self-righteous p.c. spray-meisters....I don't give a rat's rear who YOU climb with [including sheep] and I ain't keeping you from doing anything....I'm just throwing out some bait for discussion, so if you can't handle it, go back to your WTO rally and bitch about importing cheese from Angola.) So, any reflections on the subject?

- Dwayner....I can't believe I get paid so well to drink so much!!!

[Bronco]

Maybe it is just you Dwayner.......

[Beck]

I'll bet not a lot of women stay as thrillseeking and foolhardy once they hit their twenties as the average climber dude.

Go for the easy high meadow alpine stuff if you want to keep the women happy, carry ALL the heavy stuff, and don't forget to pack a)extra socks in her size b) her favorite sweet as a trail food c) the understanding your girl wants to enjoy herself, not follow you to the top of a giant choss pile and call it fun.

This is not meant to diminish any of the women climbers out there, YOU GO, GIRLS! ( wish I could find one of you!)'m just keeping the differences of the sexes clear-

 

Maybe WOMEN don't like grimy mountain men that are often broke, drive junker cars and are always gone on the weekends. Just the fact I'm gone on the weekends has cost me more than one girlfriend, and you know what Dwayne, I'd rather be out in the mountains.

[jblakley]

Dude!!

You got yourself all whipped up into a froth with no input from anyone whatsoever. That was quite a trick. I sense that something heavy is weighing on yer shoulders. I prescribe a visit to Pope Confessional. Cleanse thy soul of any celestial excrement my brothaaa!

[Alpine_Tom]

"Look at Beckey - he named Vasiliki Tower after Vasiliki and she left him for a circus strongman."

According to The Good Rain, Vasiliki actually married William Dwyer, who became famous as a result of the Goldmark case (now Judge Dwyer.)

[pope]

I heard that Beckey used to insist that whoever carried the rack did so without hiding it away in a pack. The idea was to make a lot of noise and foster curiosity among females.

I occasionally still climb with a guy who is a master of what he used to call props: rope in the car window, keys on a biner, baggage claim stub on the pack...all a bunch of whistles and bells designed to lure in the ladies, to convince girls that you're some kind of big shot. Once, out in Idaho, he met a couple of crunchy girls from Boulder who, I must admit, could give Donna competition. My buddy started sniffing around these girls, and next thing you know, I didn't have a partner: he was out setting top-ropes for these gals, certain that he was just a campfire from stealing home. After a couple of days, he announced that he was considering abandoning our trip, blowing off Jackson, to go out to Colorado and "be" with them. He went so far as to check into bus fare to Seattle--he was going to send me packing and pay! The night before the big departure, he phoned one of these granola girls and some dude named Sterling answered. Oh well, off to the Tietons.

[Alpine_Tom]

Or, as they say, "goodbye tetons, hello Tetons..."

*smirk*

[michaeljosephnozel]

Gentlemen, I guess I should consider myself one of the lucky ones. My girlfriend (of 18 years) loves to cycle and climb. And by "climb" I mean reasonably hard trad--she, herself, leads gear to 10b. And I'm pretty damn certain she could reel off the names of a half dozen offwidths that she has actually enjoyed.

In addition to trad, she enjoys ice and easier alpine. (Granted, she draws the line at technical alpine routes, but she does not cast a leering glance at my mountaineering forays).

When she walks through the door, I'll have to give her a big hug. . . cheesy as it may sound. . . .

[nolanr]

It's true, there are some women out there that enjoy alpine climbing. My buddy married one last summer. She's come with us on plenty of outings, and when he goes without her she doesn't give him a hard time. Sigh. I just hope I can find a woman like that some day.

[haireball]

twenty years ago (yeah, '81) I climbed the Cassin Ridge with my "significant other" of three years. the following year she dumped me after finding one who had more $power (think Himalaya...) anyway, I was later briefly married to a Kiwi with a long string of "first female ascents" in NZ. I'm now very happily married (for over 10 years) to a woman who was one of Donini's Leavenworth Alpine Guides. We honeymooned in Red Rocks, and our three sons all climbed Orchard Rock before reaching their 4th birthdays. of course, the kind of woman I'm talking about here wouldn't be suckered by a flash of rack or a rope in the back window. My wife describes her high-school years as frustrating because she could never find a guy who could climb her standard - and that was before she bought her first pair of rock-shoes...good luck fellas...

[pope]

Well, I've heard of girls who can climb...I've got a Lynn Hill poster! But outside of Donna, I've never met a girly who cared about climbing enough to really learn something about it. Most women I've met are only interested in climbing because their boyfriend happens to be. There are exceptions. But come on guys, how many times have you met some woman who wants to learn about mountain climbing, yet after you spend a little time together, you find out she just wants to be part of your scene? Man, I get tired of women treating me as some kind of sex object. I am so much more than just a walking salami. When are women going to respect me for what I think, for who I am, and stop treating me like their little play thing?

Before I met Donna, I ran with a "girl" who could lead 5.11 fist cracks, and when we'd get back to camp, she'd let met drink as much as I wanted and then crash. She wouldn't come creeping around my tent, trying to tame my Brahma. No, she'd let me pass out. Kind of weird...unlike no other woman I'd ever met. Well, that's the rest of the story: I found out that she was....well.....did you ever see the movie THE CRYING GAME?

[This message has been edited by pope (edited 06-06-2001).]

[Retrosaurus]

quote:

---

Originally posted by pope:

I am so much more than just a walking salami.

---

Who do you think you're fooling?

[pope]

Now don't nobody trip, I'm gonna unzip.

[Dwayner]

Hey Haireball:

Would your wife happen to be Katie Kimball? I worked for Donini for several years and I recall we had a couple of excellent female guides on the crew: Katie (a nurse?) and Allison Osius, the latter is or was involved in Climbing Magazine as some sort of editor.

Leavenworth Alpine Guides......them were the days. I was often assigned to snow/ice duty on the north side of Mt. Baker where I dreamed of the warm fun in the sun in Leavenworth (where the girls usually got to work) and the free client-purchased beer at the end of the day. Oh well.....

And by the way, DONINI STILL KICKS BUTT!!!!

- Dwayner

[This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 06-07-2001).]