Finish this pirate poem contest !

[TREETOAD]

 

Twas on the good ship Venus

By god you should have seen us

[Captain_Black_Bart]

Twas on the good ship Venus

By god you should have seen us

 

As we set sail out of Port

three drunken mates short

[griz]

But Captain Phallus had a new toy,

...........................the cabin boy.

[TREETOAD]

"hint" the third line is,

 

The figure head was a whore in bed..

[whidbey]

damn nice whore though.. suck my mind until i was awake

[TREETOAD]

Arrr if it aint old billy bones!! how are ya whidbey!!

can you not figure out the last line of the verse?

[whirlwind]

all day ye be swabin me deck, baked by the sun.

as me ship she be making the sweet ocean spray while we run,

the brittish fleet, nah she be catching us this day

[EWolfe]

NO ONE wins in the PIRATE Forum! Yarrrr!!

[whirlwind]

ye nah be winin, ye gold i be spendin,

wemen, rum an puddin.

me mates they be doin things they shouldnt.

[whidbey]

toad.. it is not happening...tried and failed... shit.. sounds like a few climbs i've tried as of late.... .shit..

[Captain_Black_Bart]

The Tempest; somewhere betwixt:

"Hang, cur! hang, you whoreson, insolent noisemaker!

We are less afraid to be drowned than thou art!"

 

and

 

"If I did think, sir, I were well awake,

I'ld strive to tell you. We were dead of sleep,

And--how we know not--all clapp'd under hatches;

Where but even now with strange and several noises

Of roaring, shrieking, howling, jingling chains,

And more diversity of sounds, all horrible,

We were awaked; straightway, at liberty;

Where we, in all her trim, freshly beheld

Our royal, good and gallant ship, our master

Capering to eye her: on a trice, so please you,

Even in a dream, were we divided from them

And were brought moping hither."

[G-spotter]

yo ho ho and a bottle of....

[PBRstreetgang]

It was on the good ship Venus

By Christ, ya shoulda seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the mast, a mammoth penis

 

ARRRR ye owe me a bottle of rum

[ivan]

Well I've drunk to drown, on every ocean I've been

Lake Tanganyika, where the crocodiles swim

Halifax, Nova Scotia to Van Diemen's land

Well I drank with the Sultan, down the Suez Canal

 

Cause Every Dog Has Its Day

Like every woman, she gets her own way

And if there's a ship that sails tonight

I'll captain that too, just to be there with you

 

Well there was old Jerry Rooney, who was mad as a mule

Spillblood Maloney had a head like one too

That night on the bridge, with my shovel in hand

Well he threatened to kill me, for sure he picked the wrong man

 

Cause Every Dog Has Its Day

Like every woman, she gets her own way

And if there's a ship that sails tonight

I'll captain that too, just to be there with you

 

Well there was mutiny in Lagos, aboard the mean ship Skondi

Ten or twelve days in prison, till the bastards set me free

McCloskey you're free

 

Cause Every Dog Has Its Day

Like every woman, she gets her own way

And if there's a ship that sails tonight

I'll captain that too, just to be there with you

 

Now I love the sea and she wants me back

So I leave this ol' harbor, with the wind at my back

Goodbye mother Theresa, I hope the kids settle down

I must head for the Chinas, pray to God I don't drown

 

For Every Dog Has Its Day

Like every woman, she gets her own way

And if there's a ship that sails tonight

I'll captain that too

 

Cause Every Dog Has Its Day

Like every woman, she gets her own way

And if there's a ship that sails tonight

I'll captain that too, just to be there with you

[knotzen]

It was on the good ship Venus

By Christ, ya shoulda seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the mast, a mammoth penis

 

No, no. I think he meant this:

 

It was on the good ship Venus

By Christ, ya shoulda seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

Who liked to shout, "Dear God, let nothing come between us!"

 

Yeah, that's it.

[RogerJ]

I thought the subject line was "Finish this pirate porn contest!".

 

-r

[RogerJ]

Twas on the good ship Venus

By god you should have seen us

2 months alone at sea

I spied a manatee

And a throbin' began in my penis.

[TREETOAD]

Twas on the good ship Venus

By god you should have seen us

2 months alone at sea

I spied a manatee

And a throbin' began in my penis.

 

[TREETOAD]

'Twas on the good ship Venus,

*By gad! You should have seen us,

*The figure-head was a whore in bed,

*And the mast a rampant penis.

 

They called the Captain Slugger,

He was a dirty bugger,

He wasn't fit to shovel shit,

On any bugger's lugger.

 

His given name was Cooper,

By god he was a trooper,

He jerked and jerked until he worked

Himself into a stupor.

 

The Captain's daughter Mabel,

Whenever she was able,

She gave the crew their daily screw

Upon the mess-room table.

 

His daughter wasn't fussy,

She was a brazen hussy,

She'd spread her legs on the brandy kegs,

And show the men her pussy.

 

His wife was baptized Charlotte,

Who was born and bred a harlot

Her legs at night were lily-white,

But in the morning they were scarlet.

 

While crossing the equator,

The crew did elevate her,

She bared her ass on the topmost mast,

And dared the crew to mate her.

 

The first mate's name was Paul

He only had one ball,

But with that cracker he rolled tobacco,

Around the cabin wall.

 

The second mate's name was Lester,

A virgin hymen tester.

Through hymens thick he shoved his prick

And left it there to fester.

 

That third mate known as Morgan,

The homosexual Gorgon.

A dozen crows, sat in a row,

Could pose upon his organ.

 

The lookout's name was Andy,

His legs were long and bandy,

They filled his arse with molten brass,

For pissing in the brandy.

 

The Captain's randy daughter,

Was swimming in the water,

Delighted squeals came as the eels,

Entered her sexual quarter.

 

The engineer, McTavish,

The women he did ravish,

His missing tool's at Istambul

He was a trifle lavish.

 

The cabin boy, the cabin boy,

A dirty little nipper,

He filled his bum with bubble gum,

And vulcanized the skipper.

 

One sailor's name was Higgins,

And Higgins had a big 'un,

Once round the deck, twice up the mast,

And the rest was used for rigging.

 

The helmsman's name was Sam,

He liked to roger rams,

It trapped his bollocks during his frolics,

And turned his yard-arm into spam.

 

The cook whose name was Freeman,

A dirty bloody demon,

He fed the crew on menstrual stew

*And foreskins fried in semen.

 

Another cook was O Malley,

He didn't dilly-dally.

He shot his bolt with a hell of a jolt,

And whitewashed half the galley.

 

The ship's dog's name was Rover,

The whole crew did him over.

They ground and ground that faithful hound

From Singapore to Dover.

 

The Fifth Mate's name was Slater,

He was a masturbator.

He'd pump and pump his massive stump,

And clean the mess up later.

 

There was Able Seaman Jenkin,

By buggering demented,

He stuffed cement up his fundament,

And relationships cemented.

 

They saw a Spanish Galleon,

Its figurehead a stallion,

And when they saw it was full of whores,

There wasn't any dallyin'.

 

On every foot of rigging,

There were sailors frigging,

In the lookout's nest, they'd take a rest,

From their poking and their digging.

 

'Twas in the Adriatic,

Where the water's almost static,

The rise and fall of cock and ball,

Was almost automatic.

 

We sailed to the Canaries,

To screw the local fairies;

We got the syph in Tenerife

And the clap in Buenos Aires.

 

We sailed to the Bahamas,

Where the girls all wear pyjamas;

They wouldn't screw our motley crew -

They much preferred bananas.

 

While sailing on the ocean,

We'd often get a notion,

In cold and heat to beat our meat,

With a peculiar motion.

 

Each sailor lad's a brother,

To each and one another,

We'd take great pains at our daisy chains,

Whilst writing home to mother.

 

Then in search of new sensation,

In the forms of recreation,

The ship was sunk in a wave of gunk

From mutual masturbation.

 

So now we end this serial,

Through sheer lack of material,

I wish you luck and freedom from,

 

Diseases venereal.

[ivan]

um - so - i guess treetoad wins?

[TREETOAD]

I been friggin in the riggin for years me mateys!!

[TREETOAD]

It is an old Raffi tune

[EWolfe]

That's just nasty

 

 

I love it!