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Winter Training!


EWolfe

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I've posted this before but here is my winter training regime:

 

1.)punch the wall with your firsts, then bang it slowly with your forehead while moaning and drooling

2.)curl up in a fetal position on the floor in your own piss and shit

3.)masturbate, but give up 1/2 way into it and throw up into your boots

4.)Solder a doornob so you cannot turn it. Grease it up nice and good. Now have someone hold a loaded gun to your head. Hang from one arm on the door fixture. Try and open the doorknob or get shot. Good ice screw technique training.

5.)Make a really good dinner and toss it in the trash. Eat raw mashed potato flakes instead.

6.)lock yourself out of the house JUST before it gets dark. Stand outside awake, and only have someone let you in when the sun comes up again.

7.) get a folding chair and sit in it. Now wait.

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All this time I've been wondering if I really knew what a clownpuncher was. Looks like I was right.

 

My summer training:

Run in the daytime, run in sunshine. Climb once in a while, less often than I want to.

 

My winter training:

Run in the dark and the rain. Once in a while remember to hang from the holds I bolted to the treehouse. Ski a few times a month if I'm lucky.

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