Scott_J Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Missing Bill Clinton It doesn't matter what party you are this is absolutely hilarious. Just watched a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton. "Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President. Number 1- He played the sax. Number 2- He smoked weed. Number 3-He had his way with ugly white women. Even now? Look at him. ... his wife works, and he don't! He gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water. Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada. When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one." American Indians nicknamed Bill Clinton "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of crap he can't fly. Clinton lacked only three things to become one of America's finest leaders: integrity, vision, wisdom. Clinton was doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly and Moe. The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know." Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between Bushes. Quote
Dechristo Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 When our ex-president was asked of his position on Fallujah, he replied: "I prefer it when I'm standing." Quote
Dechristo Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Malapropism involving "Fallujah"; sounds like... Quote
selkirk Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 mala- whatta? I'm going to have to look that up. what can I say, it's eary, and I haven't had my coffee. Quote
bunglehead Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 ... Wasn't there a studio head that was notorious for those? Roger Mayer? Quote
Double_E Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Former presidents Clinton, Carter, and Nixon are on the Titanic. It strikes an iceberg and starts to sink... all hell and mayhem is breaking loose... people are running all over the place, scrambling for lifeboats, praying, holding their loved ones tight, etc, etc... Carter yells: "Save the women and children first!" Nixon says: "Fuck the women and children!" Clinton says: "... but, but.... do you think we have enuf time?" Quote
iceaxedave Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 These are great, got any more of them? Lacking humor at work this wednesday and need a laugh! Quote
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