Being 30

[JGowans]

I just finished reading a sad vignette about a 30-year-old Oregonian who died of a heart attack while climbing. He left behind a 24 year old wife whom I’m sure didn’t expect to be a widow before she was 30. I don’t know about you, but that’s just a bit too close to home. I am also 30 and consider myself to be in top shape. Like everyone regardless of age, I live each day with a certain amount of risk. Sometimes it’s driving fast. Other times it’s climbing. It doesn’t matter how active or sedentary one is. At 30 years old, we all live with risk and we expect our mortality to be punctured by a direct consequence of the probability of risk somehow catching up with us – some freak, unforeseen accident. I certainly don’t sit on the sofa at night and think about ailments that are plotting my downfall. No, I sit on the sofa and I am the one in control plotting the next adventure. How trite and naive I still am.

 

Over the past couple of years, I’ve begun to reluctantly acknowledge mortality. I am begrudgingly aware that I’m not going to live forever and as much as I’d like to believe that cryogenic freezing will preserve me for a time when it’s feasible to bring me back, I’m not exactly holding my breath. A 30, some of us are recently married, some of us are having kids and starting a family. These are all events that force us to reconcile with death. Is my life insurance up to date? Is it worth the few extra bucks to get the maximum accidental death and dismemberment insurance? Should I buy that mortgage insurance in case of my death? I think those thoughts, and while I now realize that I am indeed aging and I am going to die, I am still thinking that it’s an event far off in the future.

 

What if I don’t make it to next week though? What have I done with my life? What have I learned? Beyond insurance, what have I given to my wife and those close to me? What other questions should I be exploring? I admit that aging and death confuses me. I clearly remember being an 8-year-old kid in Scotland and I don’t feel much different now than I did then except that I know I’m going to die. I just hope it isn’t soon because for most of my life I was asking the wrong questions and chasing the wrong goals. Only recently am I beginning to understand what seemingly simple concepts like success really looks like.

 

If you’re around 30, I imagine you’re grappling with the same questions as most other 30 year olds. If you’re past 30 and pushing 40, or 50, or even 60, why don’t you impart some sage advice on us youngsters? People die around us all the time. Banal comments like, “It puts everything else in perspective” just doesn’t do it for me. What is the perspective? How the f**k do you live with the specter of death and what the f**k is life all about?

[chirp]

Just dont worry about it. Like the line in M.A.S.H when BJ first gets to the camp...Hawkeye tells him of the 2 rules of war;

 

1. Young men die

2. Doctors cannot change rule Number 1.

 

Embrace your maturity, growth and ever increasing awareness of your world. Only you see out from behind your eyes and only you can know the full finality of your death.

[sk]

I am just a cuple years older, and I don't know anything. but what my dad told me is that life is pretty simple. there are only a few things you can do because 2 things are constant, death and taxes. so in that light make sure you hug your kids everyt ime you see them, even when they are so old that they push you away. Make sure you tell your spouse how much you love them every day, even when you are angry and not sure you want to keep loving them. Never go to bed pissed off even if it means you stay up all night talking it out. Have a job that allows you to live in a comfortable manner, and live with in your means. Have a hobby that makes you feel alive, surround your self with people you love, admire and respect. Scotch is better when it is 12 years old. don't sweat the small shit, it's all small shit.

[hopalong]

I'm sure the guy was just too stressed out. However, Who am I to judge.

[MrDoolittle]

Just a couple...

[lummox]

stfu you whiners. gawd. navel gazin freaks you are. and wtf does this mean:

some of us are recently married, some of us are having kids and starting a family. These are all events that force us to reconcile with death.

having family forces you to reconcile with death? you are fucked up. get your mind right boy.

[Bug]

Gawd almighty boy! Get yur head screwed on and forge ahead! You are ONLY 30! I am 44 and still feel young. My body has stopped producing cartelige (yours will too around age 35-40) so I supplement it with glucosamine, pack a hell of a lot lighter, and don't run down rocky trails anymore. I just started taking lipitor to get my cholesterol down but that is so I can live to 135. Heart problems at 30 are either a friggin freak that is unavoidable or a drug habit that you chose. I did drugs at a reasonable level most of the time. Some people just push it too far and everybody knows it when they do it or see it happening. I think it was Plato who said, "Everything in moderation." Sage advice about life? - MILK IT!!!! If you sit in your livingroom watching other people live via TV, you will die sooner. Double check your knots, retire old ropes, add a stopper before long runnouts, and yes, hug your loved ones often. Words are great but nothing replaces a great hug.

[SmokeShow]

Lummox, you

 

My two cents... there is no meaning to life so do what is meaningful to you. Yes you are going to die and you most likely will not know when, so spend as much of your time as possible pursuing what you love.

[thelawgoddess]

i was going to impart some of my own personal *wisdom* ... but instead i would like to suggest you read "tuesdays with morrie." it is short and powerful, and it will help you think about your own answers for the questions you are asking.

[catbirdseat]

Gowans, I had no idea the climbing yesterday was THAT scary for you. Feeling lucky be be home in one piece?

 

Just kidding, mate.

[whirlwind]

shit i thouhg i was either going to be dead or in prison by th time i turned 25 and that was last sept.

haven't been to prison, pretty sure i'm not dead.

and i belive this is mostly due to the fact that i started climbing when i was 21