Scott_J Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping. 2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny. 3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!! 4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. 5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway? 6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it. 7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet? 8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot. 9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous. 10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile. 11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home. 12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me? 13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back. 14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit. 15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraysovereign Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 16. The female ones always insist on leaving the seat down. How the Hell are we supposed to get a drink with that thing in the way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Yo, Dog. That's wack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 A friend of mine slit his dog's throat for continually killing his chickens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Once they start, they can't stop. It begs the question why the dog even had access to the chickens. I keep chickens, myself, but they are in a coop. The coons would kill them otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 When I had horses (to ride, not fuck) I had a German Shepard that enjoyed biting at the horse's hocks. I wasted the fucking dog after he drew blood on a young colt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rr666 Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Shit, whenever I leave my dog home alone with free roam of the house, he pees on whatever he can... that is his biggest pet peeve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattp Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 catbirdseat said: Once they start, they can't stop. It begs the question why the dog even had access to the chickens. I keep chickens, myself, but they are in a coop. The coons would kill them otherwise. My wife had a dog that got into that once upon a time. She wired one of its victims around its neck in hot summer weather and made him wear it around for three days. It never went after a chicken again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary_Yngve Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 I believe Fido - had a complaint or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adventuregal Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 My dog keeps eating my soap whenever my roommate leaves the bathroom door open. Little shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa_Eagle Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 mmmm... soap actually, if your dog eats the soap, are you calling him a little shit because of the inevitable aftermath? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 sometimes when I'm playing my guitar my dog just stares at me and groans. Dogs are hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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