DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS

[Scott_J]

 

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

 

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

 

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

 

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything

while you're gone.

 

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly

who's walk is this anyway?

 

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

 

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy

carpet?

 

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I

haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

 

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the

truth, you're just jealous.

 

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

 

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew

your shit up when you're not home.

 

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far

behind schedule that puts me?

 

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when

I freak out every time we go back.

 

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a

proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

 

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?

 

 

[murraysovereign]

16. The female ones always insist on leaving the seat down. How the Hell are we supposed to get a drink with that thing in the way?

[EWolfe]

Yo, Dog. That's wack.

 

[allthumbs]

A friend of mine slit his dog's throat for continually killing his chickens.

[catbirdseat]

Once they start, they can't stop. It begs the question why the dog even had access to the chickens. I keep chickens, myself, but they are in a coop. The coons would kill them otherwise.

[allthumbs]

When I had horses (to ride, not fuck) I had a German Shepard that enjoyed biting at the horse's hocks. I wasted the fucking dog after he drew blood on a young colt.

[rr666]

Shit, whenever I leave my dog home alone with free roam of the house, he pees on whatever he can... that is his biggest pet peeve.

[mattp]

catbirdseat said:

Once they start, they can't stop. It begs the question why the dog even had access to the chickens. I keep chickens, myself, but they are in a coop. The coons would kill them otherwise.

 

My wife had a dog that got into that once upon a time. She wired one of its victims around its neck in hot summer weather and made him wear it around for three days. It never went after a chicken again.

[Gary_Yngve]

I believe Fido - had a complaint or two.

[adventuregal]

My dog keeps eating my soap whenever my roommate leaves the bathroom door open. Little shit.

[Ursa_Eagle]

mmmm... soap

 

actually, if your dog eats the soap, are you calling him a little shit because of the inevitable aftermath?

[bunglehead]

sometimes when I'm playing my guitar my dog just stares at me and groans. Dogs are hilarious.