Tell Ken Schram to eat a fat 8=D!!!!

[fleblebleb]

Dave_Schuldt said:

Yo Ken

HE IS AND IDIOT, IGNORE HIM. I was thinking of writing a nasty letter, but said fuck it, it would just inflate his ego.

 

I figured he's already inflated to a bursting point, maybe I could be the hair to break the camel's back. Had this in his mailbox 10 minutes after last year's rant, or actually it was probably two years ago:

 

I ride my bicycle a lot. My current bike is three years old and has a few thousand miles on it.†Inside neighborhoods I get around faster than cars, and I race cars between traffic lights and win.

†

As long as you stick to driving you†will find it hard to locate a more obnoxious a cycle-nazi than yours truly. Hazardous and menacing, that's me, on purpose.

†

Think about it. The bike weighs under 20 lbs. At 5'9" I weigh ca. 140 lbs. In heavy traffic, I'm a speck. If I get touched by a car, however lightly, I get crushed like a bug. I have some serious safety concerns when riding my bike. What do you think I should do about this?

†

One of my options is to observe the traffic law rigorously. That makes me predictable, and therefore safe, right? Bzzz wrong, no cyclist is truly predictable. It only takes†a slick cobblestone to crash a bike and a crash in traffic can easily maim or kill the cyclist. I know - I have had some near misses.

†

Riddle me this: Do you think drivers worry much about the possibility of a cyclist crashing when they pass by at less than a yard away?

†

My next option is to ride on the sidewalk. Unfortunately that's not safe for the peds. Sidewalks are for walking - I'll do any of the other things you talk about but not "terrorize" the peds. I am even more fond of walking than bicycling. If ped speed is fast enough, I'd rather walk.

†

My third option†is to stick to the safe streets, the ones with bicycle lanes. Hey, maybe you should do a commentary on the number of streets with bicycle lanes someday? 'Nuff said about that option.

†

So, my final option is to make absolutely certain that drivers see me and consider me hazardous and menacing enough to†give me a wide berth. So I am unpredictable. I break the traffic law to keep you on your toes. I am a cycle-nazi.

 

If that's not enough then there are also other reasons.

†

Take a slow, contemplative walk someday and observe how broken the asphalt is on the edge of many Seattle streets. Sometimes zipping lanes has an ulterior motive - a thin tire will pop if you†hit the potholes†at speed and slowing down is a recipe for getting side-swiped†by an idiot that†can't be bothered to†observe the passenger-side mirror too closely when passing one of those @#$%†pesky cyclists.†Better to zip,†they'll curse and moan but they'll also stay far away.†

†

After the walk, borrow a bike and go ride it through some of those pothole-minefields. I bet you'll have a hard time hanging on with both hands. Then repeat your test run while signaling turns etc. Now stop the bike and contemplate the results of losing your balance while signaling, and falling into the path of a car. I have taken such a fall, the smell of brakes and sound of squealing tires†gave me quite an adrenaline rush.

†

I hardly ever signal turns these days and never use the other cyclists' signals, for slowing down, asking to be passed, etc. It's pointless anyways,†drivers either don't know or ignore the†signals.

†

After you do the potholes, you can try the traffic lights. You will find that stopping where you are supposed to stop means that the cars next to you are already passing while you're still finding your balance.†It's much safer to take the bike as far into the intersection as you possibly can. When the cars make up the 3-5 yard distance you'll already have your balance. Then you won't care if they call you silly names, like cycle-nazi.

†

Of course, if you can safely ignore the red light and ride through the intersection without getting squashed then you won't have to worry about this at all.

†

By the way, I am 27 years old, have been driving for 10 years, received a speeding ticket for driving 35 in a 30 zone when I was 18, and have not received a single ticket since. It isn't because I don't get caught, it's just because I don't break the traffic law while driving.

†

In contrast, breaking the traffic law while riding my bike causes very little danger to others and can significantly reduce my own risk.

†

And don't dare think I'm one of those "environmentally arrogant pedal pushers" - I love my car, play at doing my own maintenance and the like. I couldn't climb mountains without my car and sometimes it takes hundreds of miles of driving just to get me to the trailhead. But I don't see any reason to bother to drive it within the city.†

[Fence_Sitter]

judging by all those crosses i think JC agrees witchya!

[Dave_Schuldt]

ANOTHER SLAM

 

Ken-

 

Thank you for your article on the Road Bike riders (roadies) in Seattle.

While I don't own a road bike, I have been mountain biking for almost 15

years. I know it's difficult for people such as yourself (more

specifically, old, stubborn, depressed, no news worthy story holding aging

feeble minded elderly men) to do anything but complain, but it might be

worth it to try and dedicate what little life you have left towards

enriching other's lives or sharing positive experiences. Heck, once in a

while I wouldn't mind seeing a few roadies get hit by a truck like an

armadillo crossing a highway in Texas. However, that attitude usually

doesn't endure, and I usually conclude such brief moments of spiteful

insanity with a compassionate love tap on my brake pedal to allow a roadie

to cross in front of my SUV & live to die another day.

 

In the year that has passed since you "first complained" of those "Dang

Bicyclists", what other actions have you taken to reach a resolution? Have

you volunteered time to educate riders on how to exercise proper etiquette

while riding in the city and on sidewalks, or do you just make snide remarks

under your breath as the pass by? Have you offered any assistance to

community programs to help educate riders on how to be safe instead of

sorry? I'm sorry, what was your answer? Speak up please, it's hard to hear

an elder statesman mumbling through his lips trying to defend a seemingly

pointless point of view. If your unsure of the definition of the word

"volunteer", please pick up a copy of Webster's at a local bookstore. My

guess is you haven't had a chance to take such helpful measures, which would

be a pretty accurate guess since I am involved in such activities and I

haven't seen you around any of them.

 

Thank you for your time and I apologize if this email is a bit harsh, and

based on your attitude in your commentary, I'd say we're even.

 

Not all bikers are roadies and not all texan's are cowboys.

I thank Lance Armstrong for the insipiration and motivation to see that

roadies are people too.

 

 

[fleblebleb]

Fence_Sitter said:

judging by all those crosses i think JC agrees witchya!

 

 

Sorry bout those, I copy-pasted from a Word doc I opened using the Mac text editor... something had to break.

[EWolfe]

fleblebleb said:

trask said:

Goddamn bicyclists are a scourge. All bicyclists can kiss my fine ass.

You don't have the muscle to ride a bike fast, the stamina to ride it for long, or the cojones to ride it in traffic.

 

This e-traffic can lick my cajones

[chucK]

KEN SCHRAM FOREVERRRRR!!!!

[toptimmy]

about 12 years ago I was living in MT.Shasta city and was riding along the road on the far right. The light ahead turned green so I kept my pace.From the far left of the lane this stupid bitch on a harley makes a right turn without a signal in front of me.I had no time to brake so I jumped off my bike and on to her back.Her reaction was to let go and scream like I was A mad rapist.She went down and there was turn signals and chrome parts scattered about the intersection.I got a ripped seat, she went to the hospital.

Score 1 for for the bicycle.If people knew how to drive this probably would not have happened.

And yes I got the ticket.

[Fence_Sitter]

toptimmy said:

about 12 years ago I was living in MT.Shasta city and was riding along the road on the far right. The light ahead turned green so I kept my pace.From the far left of the lane this stupid bitch on a harley makes a right turn without a signal in front of me.I had no time to brake so I jumped off my bike and on to her back.Her reaction was to let go and scream like I was A mad rapist.She went down and there was turn signals and chrome parts scattered about the intersection.I got a ripped seat, she went to the hospital.

Score 1 for for the bicycle.If people knew how to drive this probably would not have happened.

And yes I got the ticket.

 

that is the funniest thing i have ever heard...