kitten Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 My neighbor told this to me last week. I can remember this little corny joke - but nothing else that is any better. Question: How do you get a Kleenex to dance? Answer: Add a little BOOGIE to it! Quote
bunglehead Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 From my girfriend's kid: "Why did the fox talk to the chicken? Because he wanted to get his picture!" or something like that. It was really all in the delivery. Quote
Dru Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 you know the one about the string that goes into the bar and tries to get served? Quote
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 Dru said: you know the one about the string that goes into the bar and tries to get served? "I'm a frayed knot!" Quote
iain Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 a horse walks into a bar. "why the long face?" asks the bartender. Quote
lummox Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 whataya get when you cross a straw and a snake? a slurpent. Quote
kitten Posted July 11, 2003 Author Posted July 11, 2003 I am truly amazed that you guys CAN keep it clean Maybe I just jinxed it Quote
Dru Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 all my "clean" jokes involve bars a grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a beer Bartender says "wow, you're a grasshopper" Yeah, where's my beer buddy! "well did you know we have a drink named after you?" no kidding sez the grasshopper, you have a drink named Irving? Quote
bunglehead Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 A termite goes into a bar, and asks the guy behind the counter "Is the bartender here?" Guy says no, so he leaves Quote
lummox Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 where does santa stay when he goes on vacation? in a ho ho hotel. Quote
Dru Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 lummox said: where does santa stay when he goes on vacation? in a ho ho hotel. santa's pimpin? mack daddy superfly? Quote
TIGHE Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach? He's the one with the sesame seed bun. Quote
gregm Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 what did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall? dam. Quote
lummox Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 why did the pigeon cross the road? he wanted to be a chicken. why did the duck cross the road? he was stapled to a chicken. Quote
TIGHE Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 Why did the rooster cross the road ? To cockadoodle dooo something Quote
iain Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents." Quote
iain Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?" The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass." Quote
bunglehead Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 "Cock a doodle do something" !! "Dam"!!! Snarf! Quote
iain Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist? ..crickets chirping....a dog barks... Quote
Dru Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 A surgeon retires from practice and opens up a bar. Word gets around among his patrons about their publicians former occupation. One day a guy comes into the bar with a handful of woodchips and tosses them down on the counter. Bartender (confused) What do you want? Man: I want a hickory daquiri, doc! Quote
gregm Posted July 11, 2003 Posted July 11, 2003 ok. some guys go cow tipping and tip some cows. then they go over to the bulls and try to tip them but the bulls just kind of rock from side to side and don't fall over. "what's up?" say the dudes, to which the bull reply "we bulls wobble but we don't fall down". please somebody indicate you are old enough to get this one. thanks. Quote
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