Airline Stories

[aint_this_great]

airline

[Alasdair]

The daily Alaska air flight into or out of Unalaska airport in Dutch harbor flying on a 737.

 

Basically drop out of clouds to a point where the wing of the heavily banked aircraft skims accross the water, level aircraft quickly, drop 40 feet onto runway and immediatly hit the brakes.

 

Take off requires taxi to the end of the runway spin the plane around hit the brakes and run engiens to full throttle (plane starts to hop somwhat). Let go of the brakes. Imediatly after leaving the runway banks plane very sharply to avoid mountain on other side of bay and attempt to climb.

 

From one web site:

The paved runway extends for 3,900 feet. The facility is at an elevation of 22 feet at a distance of about one mile from Unalaska.

 

From another web site describing 737 take off distance.

 

This pilot thought the distance necessary to land and take off a 737 could be considerably less than the 8,000' mentioned by the first pilot. My second pilot contact said that by limiting fuel and passenger loads, and the use of performance landings and take offs, the distance needed could be as little as 5,000'

 

[JGowans]

Alasdair said:

The daily Alaska air flight into or out of Unalaska airport in Dutch harbor flying on a 737.

 

Basically drop out of clouds to a point where the wing of the heavily banked aircraft skims accross the water, level aircraft quickly, drop 40 feet onto runway and immediatly hit the brakes.

 

Take off requires taxi to the end of the runway spin the plane around hit the brakes and run engiens to full throttle (plane starts to hop somwhat). Let go of the brakes. Imediatly after leaving the runway banks plane very sharply to avoid mountain on other side of bay and attempt to climb.

 

From one web site:

The paved runway extends for 3,900 feet. The facility is at an elevation of 22 feet at a distance of about one mile from Unalaska.

 

From another web site describing 737 take off distance.

 

This pilot thought the distance necessary to land and take off a 737 could be considerably less than the 8,000' mentioned by the first pilot. My second pilot contact said that by limiting fuel and passenger loads, and the use of performance landings and take offs, the distance needed could be as little as 5,000'

 

That's wild! Got to say though, pilots love that sort of thing. They totally live for the adrenaline. An old girlfriend of mine's father was a pilot. He had tons of stories like that. He once told me the following story...

 

A U.S. pilot was taxiing in Dresden airport. He taxied to the wrong gate, and the controller got all pissy, and asked him if he'd ever been to this airport before. The pilot replied, "I was here in 1944, but I didn't land." Not sure if it's true, but definitely funny.

[sobo]

classic! love that old skewl form of humor.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Any of various flight's in DFA's stepdad's Cessna 182 involving protracted airsickness, vomiting, and of course that lovely motion-sick feeling persisting for hours after leaving the aircraft. Particularly memorable was vomiting up a neon-green concoction of apple fruit roll-ups and green sourballs.

 

On a related note, for those who are occasionally stricken by the airsickness, take your Dramamine before flying into or out of Denver. Ugh.

[JoshK]

JGowans said:

Alasdair said:

The daily Alaska air flight into or out of Unalaska airport in Dutch harbor flying on a 737.

 

Basically drop out of clouds to a point where the wing of the heavily banked aircraft skims accross the water, level aircraft quickly, drop 40 feet onto runway and immediatly hit the brakes.

 

Take off requires taxi to the end of the runway spin the plane around hit the brakes and run engiens to full throttle (plane starts to hop somwhat). Let go of the brakes. Imediatly after leaving the runway banks plane very sharply to avoid mountain on other side of bay and attempt to climb.

 

From one web site:

The paved runway extends for 3,900 feet. The facility is at an elevation of 22 feet at a distance of about one mile from Unalaska.

 

From another web site describing 737 take off distance.

 

This pilot thought the distance necessary to land and take off a 737 could be considerably less than the 8,000' mentioned by the first pilot. My second pilot contact said that by limiting fuel and passenger loads, and the use of performance landings and take offs, the distance needed could be as little as 5,000'

 

That's wild! Got to say though, pilots love that sort of thing. They totally live for the adrenaline. An old girlfriend of mine's father was a pilot. He had tons of stories like that. He once told me the following story...

 

A U.S. pilot was taxiing in Dresden airport. He taxied to the wrong gate, and the controller got all pissy, and asked him if he'd ever been to this airport before. The pilot replied, "I was here in 1944, but I didn't land." Not sure if it's true, but definitely funny.

 

an X-GF of mine is training to be a commerical airline pilot. She was a great piece of ass. I'm not sure if the two are related??

[Fence_Sitter]

i was traveling from Alberta with my track team and on teh plane was the entire cheerleading teamof the B.C. lions, us, and 4 drunk football fans at teh front ot the plane... they had just won the grey cup and were celebrating and the men kept trying to get back and hit on the cheerleaders... while laughing our asses off, me and my coach had to block the aistle for 80% of teh trip and we watched as they were handcuffed upon leaving the plane...

[JGowans]

JoshK said:an X-GF of mine is training to be a commerical airline pilot. She was a great piece of ass. I'm not sure if the two are related??

 

A great piece of ass? Are we talking about a girl or a succulent steak here? Uhm, my ex was from when I lived in Sweden...her dad was the pilot. A fine lass for sure.

[JGowans]

Fence_Sitter said:

i was traveling from Alberta with my track team and on teh plane was the entire cheerleading teamof the B.C. lions, us, and 4 drunk football fans at teh front ot the plane... they had just won the grey cup and were celebrating and the men kept trying to get back and hit on the cheerleaders... while laughing our asses off, me and my coach had to block the aistle for 80% of teh trip and we watched as they were handcuffed upon leaving the plane...

 

you didn't try to fire into the wimmin yourself???

[Fence_Sitter]

JGowans said:

Fence_Sitter said:

i was traveling from Alberta with my track team and on teh plane was the entire cheerleading teamof the B.C. lions, us, and 4 drunk football fans at teh front ot the plane... they had just won the grey cup and were celebrating and the men kept trying to get back and hit on the cheerleaders... while laughing our asses off, me and my coach had to block the aistle for 80% of teh trip and we watched as they were handcuffed upon leaving the plane...

 

you didn't try to fire into the wimmin yourself???

they look fine from 100 meters, but...uh... wouldn't touch that beef wit a cattle prod

[JGowans]

Fence_Sitter said:

 

you didn't try to fire into the wimmin yourself???

they look fine from 100 meters, but...uh... wouldn't touch that beef wit a cattle prod

you telling me you got standards?

[sobo]

JoshK said:

an X-GF of mine is training to be a commerical airline pilot. She was a great piece of ass. I'm not sure if the two are related??

 

WHy do you think it's called a cockpit?

[Ursa_Eagle]

JGowans said:

Fence_Sitter said:

 

you didn't try to fire into the wimmin yourself???

they look fine from 100 meters, but...uh... wouldn't touch that beef wit a cattle prod

you telling me you got standards?

 

yeah, it has to go "moo"

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

JGowans said:

you telling me you got standards?

 

Could this be the key to your repeated "successes" with the ladies, Mr. Gowans?

[JGowans]

Dr_Flash_Amazing said:

JGowans said:

you telling me you got standards?

 

Could this be the key to your repeated "successes" with the ladies, Mr. Gowans?

 

like you good Dr., I'm a married man, and my successes have long since been consigned to the annals of folklore

 

cue anus jokes.

[rbw1966]

When I was in Airborne school in the Army we were taking off for a jump. It was hellishly hot (August in Georgia) and as we basted in the plane waiting for take-off someone hurls into an air sickness bag, filling the cargo bay with the stench of vomit. Cue chain reaction. Well, when I was in Airborne school, you had to jump out of the plane with the bag. Little did the poor saps who hurled know that upon ejection from the plane the prop wash from the engines caused the bags to explode cascading vomit all over the lucky bagholder. You knew who these folks were--they looked like they had been puke wrestling at a Judas Priest concert.

 

Another time when I was in the Rangers we were deploying on a field exercise to Florida that included parachute insertion. The pre-flight briefing included a primer on what to do if a crash is imminent. An alarm bell will ring and we were told to bend over and kiss our asses goodbye. As we hurled down the runway towards lift-off we hear a loud bang and the plane shudders as alarm bells go off. We all stare at each other as the plane slams down and comes to the fastest stop I had ever encountered. We disembark to see we are about 20 feet of the fence at the end of the runway, in the dirt. Down the runway is a huge mess of feathers from where a goose had flown into the engine.

 

Final Army story: flight in a C-5 from Germany to England. Non-pressurized cabin + sinus infection=screaming misery. I thought my head was going to explode.

[sobo]

rbw:

 

too funny!

 

I've been shut down on every attempt to join the Mile-High Club, and now with a young'n, it looks pretty grim unless we take a babysitter with us on the plane.

 

Not an airplane story, I know, but I do have a fine story to tell of my younger years in the back of a cross-country ride on a Trailways bus...

[Thinker]

Alasdair said:

The daily Alaska air flight into or out of Unalaska airport in Dutch harbor flying on a 737.

 

Basically drop out of clouds to a point where the wing of the heavily banked aircraft skims accross the water, level aircraft quickly, drop 40 feet onto runway and immediatly hit the brakes.

 

Take off requires taxi to the end of the runway spin the plane around hit the brakes and run engiens to full throttle (plane starts to hop somwhat). Let go of the brakes. Imediatly after leaving the runway banks plane very sharply to avoid mountain on other side of bay and attempt to climb.

 

From one web site:

The paved runway extends for 3,900 feet. The facility is at an elevation of 22 feet at a distance of about one mile from Unalaska.

 

From another web site describing 737 take off distance.

 

This pilot thought the distance necessary to land and take off a 737 could be considerably less than the 8,000' mentioned by the first pilot. My second pilot contact said that by limiting fuel and passenger loads, and the use of performance landings and take offs, the distance needed could be as little as 5,000'

 

My fist time into Dutch was gutwrenching. The 737 wing looked like it was going to catch the hillside on the approach, on the other side it looked like it was going to hit the water. As soon as the wheels touched down the pilot had do decelerate more than I've ever felt one do before....seatbelts mandatory.

 

It wasn't nearly as bad in the 1938 Grumman Goose...whatta plane.

 

 

[Thinker]

The flight from Dutch to Atka Island is a good one too. A little twin engine Cessna flying thru the fog surrounding Atka on the approach. We tried coming in low, just above the water and had to abort. I knew from the topo there was a huge ass volcano right there and hoped the pilot knew where he was in relation to it. 2nd day was better, clear weather, crosswind on the landing made it exciting. I've only been to a few other places where I was happier to see a plane coming back to pick me up.

 

 

On another trip north, the landing strip at Barter Island/Kaktovik is built on a sand spit, literally 1 to 2 feet above sea level. I thought for sure we were landing in the water until the last second when I could see runway underneath us out my side window.

 

From there we choppered into the ANWR to the Jago River Delta (really just a short hop). We could see the pack ice in the Beaufort Sea on the horizon. all the polar bears SUPPOSEDLY went out with the pack ice a few weeks previously, but you really never know.... We asked the pilot if he would take us out over the pack ice, but he declined and noted that the particular chopper we were using only had one engine and that it would be prudent to stay near land. There are great views of the Brooks Range from Kaktovik. Walt Audi is a legendary bush pilot there who shuttles rafters, hunters, and climbers all over the area. Here's a photo of Walt's hotel

[carolyn]

Honestly, the wierdest flight Ive ever taken was less than a week after 9/11 from Seattle to Mpls. My first flight was cancelled...second flight cancelled..third flight took me to memphis...layover flight to Milwaukee...cancelled...next flight...hours later...fly to chicago...then detroit...eventually...Mpls. Shit! I could have walked faster!

 

You could see people checking each other out and a lot of fear/paranoia on people's faces. Very eerie feeling.

 

Another flight was from Mpls to Detriot and then to Sault St Marie, Mi. I didnt realize I was taking one of those mini planes from Detroit. Kinda nervous about it. Snowy, windy, bouncy ride, until we stop for a 'rest' at the airport my dad flew out of before his plane crashed years ago.

 

F'in Freaky!

 

Thankfully as soon as a plane takes off I fall fast asleep...so I usually miss all the action

[MissNormandy]

Love these things!

 

Edited July 11, 2003 by MissNormandy

[iain]

finally, someone who appreciates airtoons.

[rbw1966]

One time I flew from Portland to visit a buddy of mine in Bangor, Maine. Direct flight from Portland to Boston then a twin engine, 15 passenger plane from Boston to Bangor. Of special note: no bathroom.

 

We had a great time and on the way back hung out drinking beer waiting for my flight. My flight was delayed so we consumed more beer. After the third delay I was soused and staggered out on the tarmac to board the plane. It was at this moment that I felt that first bladder twinge, which of course I ignored. The flight was a mere 45 minutes or so and hell, I can hold it that long right?

 

By the time we landed I had contemplated everything from pissing in an air sickness bag to the cooler my neighboring passenger was using to transport live lobsters. I ran off the plane, grabbed the nearest ground crew person and screamed wild-eyed that I needed a bathroom NOW! I was chipping porcelain within 15 seconds.

[RobBob]

I witnessed a pretty funny 'takeoff with somebody on the throne' recently. There was a runway hold, and we were told that it would be 20 minutes or more before we were cleared for takeoff. Meanwhile, a lady's got to go baaad, apparently...must've been coffee kicking in. So the flight attendent says it's okay. Of course, we roar into a takeoff soon after she goes into the head. This poor lady opens the door while sitting and yells "what do I do?!," the flight attendent's yelling"stay put" and pushing on the door...