What to do with a teenager?

[Fence_Sitter]

After all, who among us (other than Cavey) really has their shit together?

true true

[wdietsch]

If he truly hates everything that makes it tuff .... have you tried mountian biking? When our oldest son was about 13 he got into a funk. He's tried climbing and really did not care for it. Got him a decent MTB, hit the trail together ... made a big differance. However I think a plus I had is that he has always been into some kind of sport.

I myself was not a very model citizen as a your teenager. I always laugh when I hear the line from "Panama" by Van Halen, .... "model citizen, zero discipline". When I was 15-16 I did the Ski Resort thing mentioned above, working @ White Pass, great way to earn a season pass. Worked, ate and slept on the pass for 4 weeks straight. We had a great mentor who was the first to jump into the shit with you and get the job done and in return took no shit and expected you to pull your own. If you didn't, you were outta there. To this day the guy is one of three people including my father I look up to as shaping me as an individual .... not quite military school.

Is there anything he likes to do?

[ChrisT]

video games

 

Anybody got a connection at Electronic Gaming Monthly? He's an excellent writer and reviewing video games would pobably be a dream come true for him.

[wdietsch]

understanding that he likes video games do you think we would like Paintball?

[ChrisT]

I'm sure he would...but is there a future in paintball?

[EWolfe]

oh, definitely.... your kids future

 

[wdietsch]

ChrisT said:

I'm sure he would...but is there a future in paintball?

 

believe it or not ... if you are good enough the answer is a resounding YES. I have several customers worth 10's of millions of $$ who travel to many countries thoughtout the world .... all because of paintball

[ChrisT]

OK Let's sign him up!!!!!!

[EWolfe]

wdietsch said:

ChrisT said:

I'm sure he would...but is there a future in paintball?

 

believe it or not ... if you are good enough the answer is a resounding YES. I have several customers worth 10's of millions of $$ who travel to many countries thoughtout the world .... all because of paintball

 

That sounds plausible: I made MY $10Mil from paintball...

[Ducknut]

ChrisT said:

I've got a nihilistic almost-15-year-old on my hands and I'm wondering what to do with him for the summer. I got him a job which he hates and wants to quit (after the third day!). He hates everything!

 

Advice? Suggestions? Please share your experience of your 15th summer or your experiences with a cantankerous teenager. Anyone got a farm I can ship him to for the summer?

 

ChrisT: Get two chill pills one for you and one for him. Then take them both. I have sons 16 and 14. There isn't much you can do cause they all go through this phase. My 16 year old may be just emerging from it, and we'll see about the14 year old. What I have learned is you just have to wait them out. They'll get over it and develop some focus but there isn't much you can do about it. Its hard but it isn't your problem. They gotta figure out what they are all about. Send him up to Hood for snowboard camp, tie him up and lock him up in a closet or just let him hang with friends. He has got to do this himself. Meanwhile go climbing yourself.

[wdietsch]

ChrisT said:

OK Let's sign him up!!!!!!

 

here are a few local links to check ...

 

PDX Paintball

Portland Paintball Online

PDX Field finder

[Mr._Natural]

one thing my parents did that i hated them for at the time was to put some distance between myself and several of my friends who obviously had no intention of ever doing anything.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

ChrisT said:

I'm sure he would...but is there a future in paintball?

 

First suggestion is don't get too hung up on finding something with a future in it just yet. At age 15, it's doubtful he's interested in nailing down his future yet, and with the capricious instrument of the adolescent mind leading the way, it's unlikely that whatever future idea comes up today is going to be interesting next week.

 

As far as the job, let him know that pretty much any first job gig is going to be suck. But not having to bum cash off mom every time he wants something is worth it, so encourage him to stick with it. Alternately, there's no reason he shouldn't keep his eye on the paper or whatever to try and find a more appealing job. Just 'cause this job sucks doesn't mean he can't try to find another one -- but he should definitely know that a job is a useful and necessary thing.

 

And if you want to keep him from getting too surly, try to loosen the rules and regs a bit, and choose your battles carefully. If he's gonna be a good (if unwilling) citizen and get a job, maybe you can let him have a mohawk and stay out all night and let him talk like Trask. 'Cause tell you what, a 15-year-old kid is gonna be whacking off, cussing like a sailor, setting shit on fire, blowing stuff up, chasing girls and causing trouble for the hell of it whether you let him do it or not. Giving him a hard time every time he leaves the house "dressed like that" or "with those people" or whatever is just going to cause unnecessary stress for both of you, and he's going to be that much less likely to listen to you or want to talk to you about stuff. Easing up on the little stuff and letting him know you won't lose your shit at the drop of a hat goes a long way toward opening up communication, which is a healthy and frequently absent component of the parent/kid relationship.

[Fejas]

Dr_Flash_Amazing said:

ChrisT said:

I'm sure he would...but is there a future in paintball?

 

First suggestion is don't get too hung up on finding something with a future in it just yet. At age 15, it's doubtful he's interested in nailing down his future yet, and with the capricious instrument of the adolescent mind leading the way, it's unlikely that whatever future idea comes up today is going to be interesting next week.

 

As far as the job, let him know that pretty much any first job gig is going to be suck. But not having to bum cash off mom every time he wants something is worth it, so encourage him to stick with it. Alternately, there's no reason he shouldn't keep his eye on the paper or whatever to try and find a more appealing job. Just 'cause this job sucks doesn't mean he can't try to find another one -- but he should definitely know that a job is a useful and necessary thing.

 

And if you want to keep him from getting too surly, try to loosen the rules and regs a bit, and choose your battles carefully. If he's gonna be a good (if unwilling) citizen and get a job, maybe you can let him have a mohawk and stay out all night and let him talk like Trask. 'Cause tell you what, a 15-year-old kid is gonna be whacking off, cussing like a sailor, setting shit on fire, blowing stuff up, chasing girls and causing trouble for the hell of it whether you let him do it or not. Giving him a hard time every time he leaves the house "dressed like that" or "with those people" or whatever is just going to cause unnecessary stress for both of you, and he's going to be that much less likely to listen to you or want to talk to you about stuff. Easing up on the little stuff and letting him know you won't lose your shit at the drop of a hat goes a long way toward opening up communication, which is a healthy and frequently absent component of the parent/kid relationship.

 

Sweet the good DR.'s got an Idea here....

shit I had a halk for a year and I'm an alright guy... are ya city bound, or out of town... cuase a skate board is a great way to be active, conect with his urbin friends, conect with you if ya show interest, make him appreciate dedication to be good at something, give him cofidence, and just might give him a future if he get good enough...

on.... give him somethin' to work for, not just to work...

[sketchfest]

ChrisT,

I have two kids, 15 yr old son and 12 yr old daughter. I would say that by far the only thing worse than a 15 yr old is a 12 yr old, preteen. What with her hormones all a raging, older boys looking VERY interesting, and woman hood no longer sprouting, but goddamn fully sprung. I grew up with three brothers and now with a son of my own I can say that boys are truly the drip dry version of humans. As long as you've given him a solid foundation, he's gonna figure things out for himself(for the most part) you should be there to keep an eye on things, but at this point in his life he might just need a confidant more than anything. just my .02

[ChrisT]

Ducknut said:

 

ChrisT: Get two chill pills one for you and one for him. Then take them both. I have sons 16 and 14. There isn't much you can do cause they all go through this phase. My 16 year old may be just emerging from it, and we'll see about the14 year old. What I have learned is you just have to wait them out. They'll get over it and develop some focus but there isn't much you can do about it. Its hard but it isn't your problem. They gotta figure out what they are all about. Send him up to Hood for snowboard camp, tie him up and lock him up in a closet or just let him hang with friends. He has got to do this himself. Meanwhile go climbing yourself.

 

Best advice I've heard all day! I'll be heading up the Southside tonight. Thanks Mr. Ducknut...whoever you are!

[ChrisT]

sketchfest said:

ChrisT,

I have two kids, 15 yr old son and 12 yr old daughter. I would say that by far the only thing worse than a 15 yr old is a 12 yr old, preteen. What with her hormones all a raging, older boys looking VERY interesting, and woman hood no longer sprouting, but goddamn fully sprung. I grew up with three brothers and now with a son of my own I can say that boys are truly the drip dry version of humans. As long as you've given him a solid foundation, he's gonna figure things out for himself(for the most part) you should be there to keep an eye on things, but at this point in his life he might just need a confidant more than anything. just my .02

 

Interesting but I find the opposite to be true at the moment. Our 12 year old daughter seems to be much happier, perkier and more easy-going than her ultra-moody brother. Go figger.

[sketchfest]

Oh god pleeeeaze, let's trade, please oh please I'll meet you half way across the Glenn Jackson, we'll slow down to 55mph and just throw our kids in the general vicinity of each others cars.

[ChrisT]

my son for your daughter? Or daughter for daughter?

[sketchfest]

Son for daughter, should be a pretty fair trade

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

ChrisT said:

 

 

Interesting but I find the opposite to be true at the moment. Our 12 year old daughter seems to be much happier, perkier and more easy-going than her ultra-moody brother. Go figger.

 

Has he discovered punk rock yet? There's truly nothing like having a bunch of fast, loud music that speaks to exactly how you feel to listen to. And what better way to get your aggros out than screaming along at top volume to your favorite outcast anthems and diving into the mosh pit with a bunch of like-minded miscreants? Good, healthy outlet.

[ChrisT]

So you want all the boys, eh? You crack me up!

[allthumbs]

fda's Creed - Fudge Packer's Unite

[ChrisT]

Dr_Flash_Amazing said:

ChrisT said:

 

 

Interesting but I find the opposite to be true at the moment

. Our 12 year old daughter seems to be much happier, perkier and more easy-going than her ultra-moody brother. Go figger.

 

Has he discovered punk rock yet? There's truly nothing like having a bunch of fast, loud music that speaks to exactly how you feel to listen to. And what better way to get your aggros out than screaming along at top volume to your favorite outcast anthems and diving into the mosh pit with a bunch of like-minded miscreants? Good, healthy outlet.

 

He's recently discovered Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Freeze-Pop (?) or is it SqueezePop. Some indie band that even you might like DFA.

[sketchfest]

Like I said, I grew up with brothers, no sisters, not to mention most people who know me would say that I'm still a little punk, so no worries, it's all good.