sobo Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Staying in Touch with Each Other's Needs I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words 'I do'. One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was your first clue?" I finally realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at Nordies in Seattle. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewelry dept. here she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No Honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff right now." You should have seen her face! It went completely blank. I then said, "Really, Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008. NOT! ...sobo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? A: They're hiring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Q: What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? A: 100 people who don't do dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Q. What is the definition of confusion? A. 50 blind lesbians in a tuna factory. Hey Trask you're a wanker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 A boy was at a public pool. The lifeguard blew his whistle at the boy and yelled, "Hey, don't pee in the pool!" The boy replied, "Ah come on. Everybody does it!" "Not from the diving board!" shouted the lifeguard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Figger_Eight Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 "It's just ice cream." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Figger_Eight said: "It's just ice cream." I guiess it had to be said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted April 25, 2003 Author Share Posted April 25, 2003 Figger_Eight said: "It's just ice cream." I don't get it... or I haven't heard it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialed Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Do a search on "penguins" and "ice cream" and see what you get Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted April 25, 2003 Author Share Posted April 25, 2003 specialed said: Do a search on "penguins" and "ice cream" and see what you get Found it in Spray back in January. Thanks for the hint, specialed! Nice one, trask! ...sobo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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