Dechristo

Longtime AAC member and past Board member Carlos Buhler attempted the unclimbed North Face of 23,500-foot Menlungtse in Tibet this spring and came away with a 31-pitch "near miss." Buhler was making his second attempt on the face, along with Russians Yuri Koshelenko and Nikolay Totmajanin. "We gave a mighty alpine-style attempt between the 14th and 20th of May, but we turned around at about 6,400 meters (21,000 feet) when Yuri became ill," Buhler recalled. This was all the more disappointing because the team had successfully climbed the imposing north wall of the giant peak, and they could have reached the summit and returned with only a couple of days of moderate climbing. But, Buhler reported, "In this world of almosts, near misses and "we were right theres," it is both Yuri's and my view that a "new route" is accomplished only when the summit is truly reached." For more on the climb, see www.mountain.ru/eng/

Opens the way for the condemnation of thousands of acres for the "Super-Slab" highway from Ft. Collins to Pueblo.

All cat toys have backhair.

Fire a synapse foo

SPONTA

Sven and Gerta are well into middle-age. Gerta has suffered for the increasing lack of attention from Sven; she decides she will start a work-out regimen in an attempt to reacquire a physique sexually appetizing to Sven. The next morning, while Sven is in the kitchen drinking coffee and preparing breakfast, Gerta starts her work-out in bed, naked, while watching an instructor on TV. After some stretching exercizes, the instructor starts into some leg lifts; Gerta is having a hard time of it. As hard as she tries, she can't get her legs to budge off of the bed. Gerta grabs the sides of the matress and gets her legs to raise slightly. Grasping the sides of the matress with all her might, she grits her teeth and throws all of herself into getting her legs as high off the bed as she can. her legs fly into the air, over her head, causing her feet to become lodged in the slats of the headboard. Just then, Sven comes into the bedroom to collect his eyeglasses he'd left on the dressertop. As he crosses the room to the dressertop he glances over to see his wife's form still in bed. He bellows, "Jesus, Gerta! Would you put your teeth in and comb your hair? You look like hell."

SPONT

SPON

SP

You're right, lots of WASPS purchase condoms as permanent wallet-stuffers...they can hope, can't they?

k

The day your parents spend all day on their knees in repentant prayer.

Didn't Jeff Lowe and David Brashears do a multi-day ice climb on the north face of one of the himalayan peaks? Kachenjunga (sp?)?

GODDAMMIT, CHAPS!!! Commeer You Little FUCKER! commeer, Commeer, ComMEER, COME HERE! Noowwww, I've got you, you little SONNOF-A-BITCH! You are going in Time-Out, Mister. No, no, no,... I don't care how much you cry and whine... Now, get in that closet and STFU! I swear, someday I'm gonna burn this daycare to the ground...

Now, Chaps... you're an only child and I know you're not accustomed to playing with others, but, if you'll try you might find it to be FUN!

Chaps, that's not how this game is played, now, be a good boy and learn to play the game that is already in progress. Now, remember your ABC's?

YES

Y

Furry Idi Amin

Oh, Yeah! They had that stuff on the shelf at the 7-11! I even picked up the box to look at. I put it back down on the shelf after I read [Contains packet of "Country-Fresh Turkey-Ass Gravy"]. I didn't think gravy would taste good on cereal.

The "live" vaccine

FRAI

Jonas Salk

No but PETA might get on your case.

FA