Dechristo

The finger on your hand? Knotzen's got skillz.

Ok, I'll call him for ya. Admirable that your takin' care of business.

now that is admiting no skills when you cant even enjoy it i feel sad for you We're still talking about colonoscopy, right?

No, I take it, too.

My wife takes that stuff before we have sex.

It was a sure bet you'd enjoy it. Or did you start these exams early?

Like that version of War and Peace.

A squid with manboobs. Now that's freak show shit!

Mustard gas

lactating?

I always hear squid in the bar claiming they have eight arms and two schlongs.

I did not enjoy my prostate exam today. During my medical exam, the Physician's ASSistant, a woman, suggested I take advantage of her small fingers (compared to a man's) and have her perform the procedure. I have attained the age when insurance companies require this check; I'd never had it done before. I assumed the position and...HELLO!!! I swear, the bitch fisted me and went in up to her bicep (is there a medical school in Enumclaw?). After she withdrew, I weakly asked if she were done. "Yes." I said, "Good, I'm glad you're not gonna ask that a couple of doctors confirm your findings." She replied, 'I could ask that Dr. Bob come in and check. Of course, your gonna wonder why you feel both of his hands on your shoulders while he's "checking".' When I got home, my wife asked, "did they made you put your feet in the stirrups?" See what all you fucks have to look forward to if you live long enough? Goddammit! Now I'm hearing whispers of "colonoscopy". Well, fuck me with camera on a hose. Make your appointments...

see how you are?

I'm guessin' the dude with eight arms.

Maybe it'd been less subtle if I'd stated, "yoo'r duing it ahn perpuss". How can you misspell "dilemma", unless it's intentional, when it's right above where you're typing?!

She demands extra pay for that

you're doing it on purpose

I love messages. The oiled skin, the soft background music, my eyes closed as the messeuse deftly straightens my muscle...

On the horns of a dilemma?

The Pistons' jockstrap adjuster.

Wistful is wasteful.

A cheap slut's box is rarely empty.

So THAT'S where Oly learned his flying technique! But, don't the passengers in front of "the pilot" object to the dowsing with Salivanet hairspray?

...is The Carpenters of the new millenium.

Seen Kill Bill 2? Did you find Darryl Hannah's eyeball squishing up between Uma's toes entertaining?