Erik my dear it is not about finding someone who is perfect fo you... it is not about finding THE person, because there are in fact many. Love and long term are about finding what you can live with.
If she has grown more understanding of your needs and you of hers than perhaps you are in a better place to try again. I am no expert, and perhaps you are bored and lonely... But a woman who will be with you in this time when you life is challenging and filled wiith struggle is a woman that perhaps you should take another look at. Any woman can be with you when you are flush and have green in your poackets and all is well. It takes a strong forgiving woman with a deep respect for you and a great deal of love to stand by your side to the best of her ability as you wipe the mud and shit from your face and wonder what just happend to you.
I am sorry for your pain.
Families are not the people we are born to, but the people in life we are drawn to.