Bug

I had one interaction with Barrabes.com. I inquired regarding the availability of one of their products that was on sale. The response was 4 days coming and they didn't have what I wanted.

I'll polish my thorax?!?!!

Glad you are OK!!!!!!!!! Now you dissect the event over and over until you think you have it totally figured out. Go back up there, at least to the base, to see how your memory of what happened fits the physical environment. Get it all set in your mind. Something could have been changed. Figure it out and change it from now on. Wow. Close call.

OK. Since you drift. "You are but a polyp on the asshole of the universe". Not really. I just like that one.

Hairball is after my date.

Holy bifocals Batman. That's a lot of books! Read less. Climb more. Sorry. Just kidding. I read a book once too.

Bowline on a coil. Wrap the rope around your waist 3 or 4 times. Take the climbing end, make a loop in the front, put the loop up under all 3 or 4 strands, bring a bite of the climbing end through the loop when it sticks out the top of the 3 or 4 strands, bring the loose end through the bite and double it back. Pull the climbing end taught which pulls the bite of the loose end through the loop and cinches down on the whole coil around your waist. Bring the remaining loose end back down under the 3 or 4 coils and up through the loop beside the climbing end. Tie it aff with a fisherman's knot. You now have a comfortable waist harness for cutting off your breathing. If you fall and/or must hang, flip upside down, put a leg on each side of the rope so it goes up past your butt, slip a single runner over both legs and slide it up to your crotch. Flip right side up and the runner pulls the climbing rope down between legs alowing the leg loops to take most of the weight. That was my father's only harness. It works when you have nothing else.

1968. Wool pants, wool longjohns, wool shirt, wool sweater, wool coat, wool socks, wool hat, a pot, some matches, a 6X8 sheet of plastic, a good knife, and a foam pad all in a small day pack. Out for three days on skiis in western Montana. We have all gotten soft boys.

You are from Ballard?! Do I get a date if I tell you about a "indy" climbing shop in your back yard?

The one thing I have noticed that the Forest service ALWAYS does well is get factions fighting amoungst themselves.In 1987 the Lewis and Clark National Forest Plan and Environmental Statement was forced into a five year rework by a group of factions getting together and signing one piece of paper saying they all wanted the same thing. You guys are shitting all over each other while the Forest Service is preparing to close down the one thing we all love.

I see 27 of everything. My brother is a lasic surgeon. He talked me out of it but for reasons that do not affect everyone. First, I am 43 and however much you correct your nearsightedness with lasic, you will have to correct your eventual "mature eye" (reading when you are old)with reading glasses by that much more than had you not had the surgery. Also, my corneas are very thin making me a marginal candidate. Third, if I lost my glasses, I could survive. It would be no fun but I could get off a mountain, or up if I had to. As far as the "halows" people mentioned above, those are probably from a different procedure called "radial karetotomy". Flame me if I am wrong but I have not heard of halows resulting from lasic. Don't go to my brother. He is fairly new at it and you definately want someone who not only has the experience but also the knack. It is an art not a pure science. The computer controls the incision and laser but the placement and depth of both are up to the surgeon. Since every eye is different there is no set depth and placement. The surgeon has to be very good at percieving how your eye will react to his planned modifications. If I were a young bug, I would have it done. As it is, I will be lucky to get 20 more years of serious climbing in. And that will be between my kids' functions. If you are twenty something, don't hesitate. If you are 35+ consider your options carefully. Life changes.

Never willingly give up the lead.

Solo. Solo. Solo. Solo...........................

I hitch hiked to Alaska one year and almost got busted going into Alaska even though pot was legal there at the time. They took my backpack and opened everything. They searched and patted me till I thought I was going to get a woody. I had had a bong in one of the pockets and the smell was kind of obvious so they were sure they had me. If there would have been one seed anywhere on me I would have been their plaything. As it was, I walked into Alaska a free man and just smiled and waved goodby to those diligent dicks. That is exactly what you are dealing with at the border. It isn't about crime prevention or anything like that. They're dicks doing dickwork.

Is that 'ttttttttt' as in 'shitttttttttt'?

When I was wearing green underwear we built a bigger bridge than either of those using crosscut saws, adz, and axes in 4 months. We had horses to pull the logs. We got the coveted "Primitive Skills Award" for the project and I even got to shake hands with the Chief of the Forest Service. It took weeks to get that smell off. There's somethin brewin here that don't even smell good to me. Funding is based on previous years' use. Maybe the Enchantments are just too dang expensive. Maybe the answer lies in the murky smoke filled back rooms where industry fatcats hump forest service rangers and the policy prevails. Policy comes down from the execuative branch. Thank you George. Like your dad, you will go down in history as "the Environmental President". I heard about a bug that ate a president's shit once. He swelled up bigger than a tic and lingered that way for days. When he finally popped, no one could go within four inches of the drip line for weeks. We gotta mobilize here folks. No shit.

My rippling abs now ripple in the slightest breeze.

When I was young and scary I lived in the valley now and then. One fine morning someone slipped something in my coffee and I was seeing all kinds of changes. Luckily I was already way up in Little Yosemite valley before I was unable to travel safely. I had wandered off the trail for quite a ways and parked behind a log or something big and darkish. After sitting there for a while a person suddenly appeared in front of me. I greated him as best I could and he turned and looked at me for a minute then said "Man I'm sorry. I can't talk right now. I'm too high." And left.

It didn't fit.

The first time I was on the Muldrow glacier I wore tennis shoes with holes in the bottoms and carried a large screw driver just in case.

Where does all that shit go?

-148. The first winter ascent of Denali. More of a slog than a climb but that 6 day bivy makes "heinous" sound like a picnic. Or Winter of Our Discontent. Three assholes pull off the first winter ascent of the Cassin Ridge. These guys were true assholes. Even Dru seems nice by comparison. Well, sort of nice.

Belay device, parabiner, and cleaning tool on rear harness loop. Cams and wires on a gear sling, draws and a few slung pieces on the other gear sling, Long runners over one shouder. In alpine wall climbing there is often need to move the gear out of the way. For swapping leads it helps speed things up. For most trad routes it probably isn't that important but it is the way I always do it out of habit.

When belaying a leader you should be clipped in to an anchor that will keep you right where you want to be. Under an overhang on a soft pillow of moss with a wood fairy carressing your forehead is optimal but you may have to settle for just being held down. Or I will eat you.

Is that what I think it is? Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????