Heinouscling

You're one strange dude, Dru. No wonder Lisa moved out. -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Dru: ive got huge gear and had it even when i was a beginner. My gear is huge too but it wasn't until I was well into my teens that it started getting really HUGE! -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by W: Here's a another gem:my old friend Ken Davies tells of climbing up the Emmons one night. A woman in his large group has to do #2 in the middle of the climb. She goes off to the side in the darkness and everyone respectfully looks away. Two climbing teams approach side by side. Ken says to them "hey everyone, there's a lady going to the bathroom over here so be polite and don't shine your headlamps over there please". Ken tells it like this: "(laughing)..So of course what do they do? All seven or eight of them look over simultaneously and their headlamp beams converge right on her ass, and here's this nine inch banana comin' out !" The woman was of course mortified. Oh yea!!! Bloody oath!! That was a great one! The woman must have been nicely hydrated. I usually shit peas when I've been up in the hills for awhile. What did the seven or eight blokes do? Did they stand there and stare at her ass for a bit? This is fantastic stuff! -Heinous

Hey, great stuff fellas. I knew I could rely on all of you sloppy bastards to provide some great shit stories. Keep it coming! RURP, you need to chill out and appreciate the humour in a great shit story. I, personally, find it extremely funny when I hear about some poor bloke having his asshole explode at the worst time possible. How bout you women out there? Any good shit stories? -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: You all suck. Now kiss it 3002! [ 01-17-2002: Message edited by: Cpt.Caveman ] Hey Caveman, suck my nutsack! -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Richard Pumpington: I've heard the Mazamas have the highest mortalityrate of any mountaineering club in the U.S..They'renumber 1! They're number 1! Hey, suck my asshole Little Dickhead!

Cliffhanger! Nuff said. -Heinous

Oh man! You even took a picture! Duuuude! -Heinous

OK folks, even I admit this story is sort of nasty but it was just too funny not to share with you fine folks and I know that a story like this will be graciously received by the slobs on this site. One of my climbing partners (name withheld, for obvious reasons) told me he drove from Seattle to Vantage one Summer to play on the Basalt there. He gets to The Feathers and being alone, he looks for someone to hook up with. He runs into four, rather fine looking, climbing babes and they take him into their little group to climb with them. He wanders off a little ways to do some warm-up bouldering before joining them. He gets to the rock and reaches up and grabs a hold. Immediately upon exerting effort to get his bulk up onto the rock, his sphincter suffers catastrophic failure and he totally fills his pants full of, what only can be described, as a soupy-like shit! We're talking total release of the flood gates here, folks. One can only imagine the look on his face was something like . Without saying a word to the four gals, he trudges back to his vehicle, which fortunately was only a few yards away, and heads for the nearest gas station. Needless to say, he was slightly upset for a few reasons. The long drive, missed opportunity with the four gals, etc. After hearing this, I thought to myself, what if this had occured after he had joined the gals? Worse yet, how bout if this had occured when he was fifty feet up on a route? Man alive! I hate to think about it! Has anybody ever had a similar experience or know anybody who has? I love potty humor, so please share. -Heinous

Lets git er goin again folks. One more for the gipper. This ones for you Drul. -Heinous

A new thingy will probably be needed soon. I hadto hang a SnoPark thingy in my windshield in orderto park at Mt. Hood Meadows. Pretty soon, I will have trouble seeing out the windshield due to all the thingies hanging from it. Speaking of thingies, I saw Jewell on David Letterman last night. I wish she would do something with my thingy. Oh yea!!! CLIMB ICE!!!!!!!!!! -Heinous

Lets keep Dru baby's thread going folks. One more for the gipper. -Heinous

I'd rather see a Mark Twight action figure. Something that looks pissed off at the world all of the time. I CLIMB AND I'M ANGRY!!!!!!!! -Heinous

How do you know it is unclimbed? -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: Now hasn't this thread turned into an inflatable chest\ego one I dont know if people were running all day on any climbs but whatever.... I am sure to follow a lot but not lead as much. See Dru's comments noted above in my post I say "action", not words.

quote: Originally posted by Ade: Most people don't repeatedly second a route for half or a whole day hacking the shit out of it though do they? Who said anything about a half or whole day? You TR it once and move on. You must be thinking of "The Mountaineers". Uh oh, here we go again. Lets see if we can get the ol' Mountaineers thread going again. -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by icegirl: Did you catch his slide show when he was on the UW campus... I'm hoping he comes to town again. His was second only to Mark Twight, and then only 'causeTwight made us all laugh our asses off (kind of like reading this board) I was very impressed by Steve House's take on life and climbing. Huh? IceGirl, have you been smoking the dubage again? What the fuck are you talking about? Also, try not to be so nice on this site. SPRAY! Damn it! Thats why we're all here! -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: Werd up. I like the way you spray. Keep it up I just hope I can spray, in person, at the ice fest, as well as I can here. It may take a few brews. SPRAY GOOD, SPRAY HARD, SPRAY LIKE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD!!

How bout this? If I'm below the ice, about ready to jump on a TR, and someone comes along and gives me shit about TRing. Then I offer that climber the opportunity to lead the climb. If the climber leads it, then I clap. If the climber does not lead it, and is just telling me not to TR, then I tell that climber to kiss my pimply, white, -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Rafael H: Who are you refering to dude? Am I the dude being referred to? WHO IS THE DUDE IN QUESTION? Would the real dude please stand up.

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: Not you. Can't be me because I was the one doing the TRing. Besides, I admit, my real personality is wimpish compared to my internet personality. Hmm, I may not be alone in that respect. In reality, I'm actually a nice dude. Now, FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!! -Heinous

quote: Originally posted by Dru: I understand your hair envy baldy. I only envy your luscious, beautiful head of hair Dru.

quote: Originally posted by Rafael H: . To Dru: BTW, I found that those large cauliflowers with very long - 5-6+ feet - thin stem-icicles just need to be broken away to get to the more consolidated ice below. One can hook and stand on the top of a cauliflower only after getting to it. That's what I learned by tr-ing. Waterfall ice takes much longer to fill in oncethe initial icicles have been broken.

I would like to see Dru with a mullet. -Heinous

Whats all this bullshit about TRing? I don't want to hear any of this ethics bullshit! It's my body that ends up getting broken, god damn it! Ok, heres the skinny. Nobody was even going near Deeping wall. For obvious reasons, you fucks! You're in the death zone before you can get any reasonable protection in. So my partner and I set up a TR and practiced vertical, thin ice moves. If somebody walked up, who had the balls to lead the thing, by all means, we would pull our rope and say "Have fun" and then stick around to help haul the fucker's broken carcus to the coroner's pickup. As for Dru's comment on TRing? Ah, come on, Dru, you little pink boy wanker. Ice that I used to quake on, feels like a walk in the park since I've started TRing nasty shit. Sort of like swinging a light bat after swinging a heavy one. And why would you want to bash ice while on TR? I'm usually as delicate as can be, to find out what me and my tools are capable of. While on TR is when I can totally concentrate on technique and style. BE NICE TO THE ICE!! And rope stretch? My partner and I discussed this and we just concentrated on yarding up on that rope using some muscle. You know Dru, those little, flabby things that dangle from your arm bones. Hey, falling on TR is nothing compared to decking on the hard ice below from a free fall. -Heinous