allthumbs

conversions

only my hairdresser knows for sure

is a suck-egg mule that drinks straight goat piss and screws slippery holes in elm logs.

eating blackberries as a kid we pissed on the biggest ones and the nerdy dude from our group unknowingly ate them no big thang I 'spose but I still smile when I think on it

I love dogs. Can't seem to keep them alive though due to proximity to the road. Can I pet yours?

okay, but no lighting farts. i've been reading up on this subject and it can be dangerous...possible to blow a hole in your intestine.

thanks for sharing - please DON'T post pictures

those two fat-assed beotchs haven't a clue - don't waste your dime

wipe with a pine cone

It's odd. I have a "special" .12 gauge shotgun expressly for this purpose, but I had it locked in the gun safe. The perp. caught a double-tap from my .45 This pains me to talk about it , so I won't comment further. I may just go get drunk.

Well I spent a couple of hours in jail last night. Seems the kid of the people I bought my house from got really drunk & thinking his mom & dad still lived here tried getting in. However, he found his key did not work on any of the doors. He found a open window & ripped off the screen & came in the house. Tried going in my daughter's bedroom (was the "guest" bedroom) and he failed to stop when I told him to. He was extremely nasty & vocal and failed to do as I instructed & kept trying to get into my daughters room. Fearing for her safety as well as my own, I shot him till he stopped trying to get into the room. I called 911 and applied 1st aid but he died instantly from multiple gunshots to the chest & head. Fucker had it coming, and the cops saw it my way after the debriefing. I'm a little sad though. oh well, trask

Head injuries are really nasty. Buckle-up kids.

I am working, you moron

bwahhaha I was banned this morning. Tomdav won't let me near the place. And rightly so...here's to ya Tom peace out.

I have a fireplace in my bedroom, plenty of Grand Marnier and a goose down comforter.

tRASK SAID ohhh, I like watching wimmin's backsides. But DO THEY LIKE WATCHIN' YERS??????????? I haven't had any problem getting dates.

yeah - You need to watch out for women with a cause. As for you - Trask - ALWAYS watch yer back! ohhh, I like watching wimmin's backsides.

they always delete my shit allijson sees to it

hey beotch, everytime I nicely post there you jump my shit. Whatup with that?

That's what you get for being an insurance broker. touché

Sammy is sooooo frickin awesome!!!!! "batta up!!!!!"

one of my pals just got back from a game at wrigley and said the total experience of it all still rocked

waz shakin' in chi-town Mike? Wind messin' up all that glam. hair of yurs? Wrigley field!!!!

bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored edited by trask out of good taste

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs below it. Before long, a monkey will go up the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey will make the same attempt with the same results- all the monkeys get sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water . Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original monkeys and replace it with a new one . The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third monkey with a new one . the new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they are not allowed to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing the forth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs. Why not ? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been around here. And that’s how policy begins…..