MysticNacho

You betcha! My fall hiatus is over, glad to be back in the states and sprayin'.... what else?

uh- don't ask me, I don't care...

I'm sure you're not fibbing the whole fiasco- its just that I was trying to picture this logging truck going 103mph down highway 20 and hitting a wall. But whatever- more power to you!

I read somewhere that in the post Sep. 11th world, Americans boil down to two different catagories: 1) Those who think America has fallen out of touch with the rest of the world, and 2) Those who think the rest of the world can take a hike.

Yes.

You know, in my brief lifetime, I've been shat on FOUR times! Know how many birds I've killed?! None! It's high time the score was evened. Thus, today I've made up my mind to purchase a dozen six packs of cola and throw the plastic things that bind the cans together into the ocean, thus killing some sea-gulls and other marine wildlife. Jihad!

Whatever happened to the weekly pub club reports? Those things were hilarious. Someone write one about it tomorrow!

But how else could those magazines draw in old readers, tired of all the same BS, just one more time?!

As Parkland/Spanaway is a decidedly different environment than an old growth forest, I propose making it an entirely new park rather than adding it on to Mt. Rainier. Visitors could experience "thug life" and getting their hubcaps removed while sitting at a traffic light. Sleazy roadside crackhouses could replace campgrounds. Recreational activities include running, (for your life ) enjoying the flora and fauna, (mostly crystal meth and an indigenous weed) and rock climbing at the greatest outdoor crag in our state, Spire Rock! Just don't grab the holds covered in urine at the base. Wildlife includes low flying C-130's, and an enumerable number of lowered honda civics and the "real" Slim Shady's. The park would maintain itself, being that it will alway's be perpetually spiraling into the depths of hell, and is already overcrowded. This negates any access fees or permits!

Tis' true! The chossiest rock in Washington also happens to be the driest rock. So go ahead ye masses, bring your dogs, your mothers, brothers, beer and shotguns to Frenchman Coulee a little earlier this year! Time to crowd the place up and fill those porta-pots!

What, you think the government can't have access to your computer if they so choosed already? Or microsoft? Please, people, wake up and smell the hackers!

Some of these are old, but there all funny enough to be drudged up again. Flash player required! Enjoy! Taliban Telemarketers Mission Impossible Colin Powell carries a tune Taliban Twister Bomb Saddam!

You could drive 103 down highway 20? You could shoot out a radiator going 103? **cough** **cough**

Tired of hearing about the first solo ascent of some Himalayan giant? Or how Dean Porter shaved 6 seconds off of the Nose? Well grab yer suspenders and listen up! CC.lurker Squid has made the claim for the FAWBLS of the Great Northern Slab at Index. That is, the "First Ascent With Belay Ledge Sex." Everyone remember that belay on the second pitch, the one with 24 bolts? That's just nasty, Squid. But this does usher in a new era! First Ascent with Belay Ledge Sex, First Ascent with Sex on Every Pitch, you get the picture. While I cannot claim any such feat, please for those of you who surely have such claims, post them here so the rest of us can make sure to stay off that route for all time. Or at least until it rains. So grab the nearest Belay Betty or if you're a lady, the nearest Belay Bob if you're not and getch yer name in the record books!

HAHAH!!!!! I didn't even catch that! BeautifuL!!!!!

So, you want to duke it out on the Ballard bridge too, eh? C'mon Muffy! There's plenty o' room in the battle cage!

Oh, you can bet your socks on that one, Bronco! I'll school those conservative hogwashes with my crass liberal wit. It'll be ugly!

Yeah, meet me say, on the Ballard Bridge tonight at midnight.

We'll admit that when you conservatives let go and admit you're all a bunch of hypocrites spouting off undeducated horseshit..... just like the rest of us

First off, where do you get all these crazy pictures Dwayner?! Second, its good to see you venturing to the keyboard, Lurker Squid. Here's my tips for lightweight culinary masterpieces: 1) Stay away from that powdered milk stuff. Now matter how long you've been away from real food it still tastes like crap. 2) Bring tea, lots and lots of tea. It's lighter than other powedered drinks, tastes good, and one tea bag can make liter after liter of quality beverage. 3) Rice is good to carry for awhile, the fact that you can do so many things with it and it lasts forever offsets the weight slightly. Although no matter what you do with it, it gets old. But you know all about that, dontcha squid?

Hey, fucko. DFA didn't prove me wrong, he just gave a different opinion. Go back to the hole you've been hiding, you fucking punk. Oh, my bad again, I didn't realize different opinions warrented "DFA - I hate your liberal ass. Fuck off, you pantywaste." Silly me.

word, Erik, word.

And I'm sick of angry, know-it-all conservatives who get pissed and angry whenever someone proves them wrong.

Alright, I've got a better one! One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma." The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy." Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

Well Mr. Nacho, to get the ball rolling, looks like we have to roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty ourselves. **ahem** What do you call a 350 pound stripper? ? Broke! Let's try and do better than that folks.