MysticNacho Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 After a long absence, I return to discover the lack of this popular thread. Whadda hell?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 Good question Toco I have been here the whole time and I have no idea... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysticNacho Posted December 23, 2002 Author Share Posted December 23, 2002 (edited) Well Mr. Nacho, to get the ball rolling, looks like we have to roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty ourselves. Â **ahem** Â What do you call a 350 pound stripper? Â Â Â Â ? Â Â Â Broke! Â Â Â Let's try and do better than that folks. Edited December 23, 2002 by MysticNacho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysticNacho Posted December 23, 2002 Author Share Posted December 23, 2002 Alright, I've got a better one! Â Â Â Â One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. Â The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma." Â The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Â Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy." Â Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!" Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 Three people sell their souls to the devil. The deal states that they will get what they are wishing for and then they will be killed. Â When they have had their wishes the devil comes to collect. He say to each of them, "I am going to take your lives the way you lived them. Each of you will be killed in a way that reflects the job you did" Â The first one says, "OK I was a climber, what are you going to do to me?" The devil has him hung with rope. Â The second one was a blacksmith. "Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his head..." Â The third one got a big grin on his face as he said "I make lollipops..." Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbcracken Posted December 23, 2002 Share Posted December 23, 2002 Seen on a bumper sticker... "Why have Peace and Prosperity when you can have Bush?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted December 24, 2002 Share Posted December 24, 2002 A young woman wants to wallpaper her bedroom but isnt sure how much wallpaper she should buy. So she calls up her blonde friend who has the same size bedroom and recently wallpapered.  "Oh Hi Buffy its Mindy just wondering, when you had that wallpapering done how many rolls did you buy?"  "Oh, I got 10" says Buffy.  Mindy buys the wallpaper and gets the job done but it only takes 8 rools and the purchase is non refundable. So she calls up Buffy again  " I got my wallpapering done, but you won't believe this - I have two rolls left over"  "OH MY GAWD YOU"RE TRIPPIN ME OUT MINDY!"blurts Buffy. "EAXACTLY THE SAME THING happened to me!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkrueger Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Â A: Full Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 ask me if I'm an orange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 You are orange? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 (edited) A Newfie is coming back from a day spent out on the ice floes and is eating a sandwich while driving down the road. Sunndenly his car starts making horrible enfine noises so he quickly pulls in to a nearby auto shop and asks the mechanic to have a look see. Mechanic goes under the hood while guy finishes his sandwich. After a few minutes mechanic comes ut and says "Well, it looks like you blew a seal". Â Newfie turns red, wipes mouth; relieved "Naw, its just mayonnaise from my sandwich. Now, whats wrong with my car?" Edited January 16, 2003 by Dru Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted January 17, 2003 Share Posted January 17, 2003 One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said, "I have to sleep with Daddy." Â A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy." Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted January 17, 2003 Share Posted January 17, 2003 Now, uh, this has what to do with whether or not you're an orange? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted January 17, 2003 Share Posted January 17, 2003 Have you ever started telling a joke and then forgot the punchline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted January 17, 2003 Share Posted January 17, 2003 The answer to the question "are you an orange" is "no". That one kills my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric8 Posted January 17, 2003 Share Posted January 17, 2003 (edited) In little peter vocabulary class the teacher wrote the word indefinitely on the board. The teacher then asked if anyone could pronounce the word. Sally then stood up and said in def initely and the teacher said very good now peter can you used it in a sentence. Peter stood up and said When I felt my balls slap her ass I knew I was in definitely. Edited January 17, 2003 by eric8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeclimb9 Posted January 17, 2003 Share Posted January 17, 2003 WELFARE OFFICE A young man walked into the local welfare office, filled out the necessary forms, met with an agent, and was just finalizing a payment schedule when he remarked to the welfare agent behind the counter "you know, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. Â The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year." Â The young man said, "You're bullshitting me, man!" Â The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!" Â Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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