Big Lou Jr.

[Guest]

Hi Guys!

Lots of big talk about Big Lou, I see. Well here's a girl's point of view. This guy who goes by the name of Pope, I know him, and he ain't even Catholic. He get's his name from that sleaze-ball, plaid-jacket wearing CIA guy who gives Jonathan Hemlock a rough time in "The Eiger Sanction". I don't know why "Pope" is so worried about Big Lou's proportionality, because let me tell you, he makes Lou look like a small fry.

Pope's schvantz is so big its got a FIVE-SKIN. I know! I "biv-wacked" with him ontop of Liberty Bell and it was the most miserable experience of my life! Hands off, boyfren, or should I say "Oy!-friend", this girls is off to slam a few copperheads with the ladies.

P.S. Hey "Pope"! "It goes, boys!"

[pope]

Gentlemen, hang on to your helmets: looks like Donna's back in town! Now I've climbed some of the world's biggest walls with gals who could hold their own (and mine too), but Donna rocks. She's no Belay Betty, no sir. She can lead out on hairy, wet, flint-hard stone, she can hump loads, and she can even write her name in the snow. If you think you'd like to hook up with her, you've got to learn from my mistakes and not get caught over night up on some big rock. I tried to be a gentleman, but I'm pretty sure I ruined our big wall partnership that night. Just keep your mind on the business and try not to be distracted by her sensuously saucy good looks, and she'll be pushing back the granite frontiers for you.

[Cpt.Caveman]

Yeah baby!

[z]

This site is pathetic

[jblakley]

And you're point Z?

[Doug]

Yeah, but does she give good bivouac?

[pope]

There's just something about the little vixen. Believe me, I tried. She's dangerously beautiful, to the point I couldn't even concentrate on the moutain. And she'll make you believe you're going to close the deal, until bivouac time, when you realize she's all business: big wall business. I would imagine she's got a love interest...but I'm certain she's broke a few hearts. There is danger here, danger for the fool who wants more than a female climbing partner.

[Charlie]

I cant believe you talked Malibu into posting that and saying his name was Donna

[pope]

Charlie, Donna's for real. That's not "maligoo". You've got to meet this broad.

[mikeadam]

Geez, shouldn't the thought police be jumping all over this thread and promoting a more genuine generic rated G browsing experience?

After all, what I REALLY need some beta on the approach to Careno Crag. Not sure if I'll do it if I don't get some online beta here.

Come on out of the closet in protest. I know you want to MVS, Alex et al....

Anyone seen my buddy Who Cares around lately? He never emailed, but I'm still waiting.

SOD OFF WANKERS,

Mike

[scott]

i would reply, but frankly i'm afraid of you.

[Dru]

hey mikeadam what happened to Tintin and Captain Haddock on the moon? your site is gone and there is a mean spirited rant in its place about "fame?"

[pope]

What do you want with her, Jimbo? I could hook you up, but you're just going to be terribly disppointed. If you don't have your big wall act together, she'll cut you free with her belay knife. And she doesn't tolerate any funny business...ask me, I know. If you so much as suggest a bivouac she'll drop you like the three foot put.

[jblakley]

Pope quit choking yourself and provide us with indefatigable (damn I got to use that in a sentence) proof that Donna Two Step exists. She/he/it has no info in her profile which leads me to believe that she is just a fig newton of your imagination.

[Hemlock]

Donna Top-Step exists.

She is a heart-breaker.

I don't know if she gives a good bivouac (that's French for mistake, Charlie, according to Big Lou), since she backed away in fright once when the opportunity arose.

Her solo of C Crack at "the Clees" rocked!

[Charlie]

Hey Donna, didnt I find your silk panties, harness, and helmet at the base of outerspace a couple of monthes ago? Then hike them out for you? Sorry, I kept the panties. And what thanks do I get?... I end up with a "Yes, I am" licence plate frame on my truck....P.s., you are one of the ugliest women I have ever seen.

[Guest]

Charles!

a) what ever are you talking about? Last time I was up on SCW was last year when I soloed Mary Jane Dihedral and backed off Iconoclast. They were on my "tick list" and in return I came home with several ticks lodged in my furry nether region.

b) I don't wear silk panties, but I do alternate between those big cotton jobbers and some naughty little thongs. For expedition wear, I prefer poly-pro panties with the months of the year embroidered on them rather than the days of the week.

c)So you think I'm ugly, do you? I don't think we've ever met so how would you know?

If I really cared what men thought about me, I wouldn't be involved in climbing. But thanks for informing me; I can add your name to the growing list of young men who will not be seeing me in or out of my panties or sports bra!

d) I've got a new license plate frame on my car which I had made just for you! It reads "Yes you are!"

Have a nice day, Charles, and if you ever did return someone's gear, I'm sure it was greatly appreciated. And return them their panties, you rascal! You never know where they've been and maybe they belong to some dude!

"hugs",

- Donna

[pope]

Charlie,

Your story is full of strange inconsistencies which I can't seem to resolve. For example, if you had met Donna, you'd only agree that she's HOT HOT HOT! If you think she's a dog, why did you keep her panties? I saw Donna coming out of REI with a bag full of polypropylene nighties and sports bras, just days after you told Hemlock about the helmet rescue, and so I'm sure it is Donna's panties you're holding hostage. Nothing makes since, unless....OK, now it's coming together for me! Maybe you're wearing those panties, and maybe you think Donna's ugly because she's female. Hemlock told me you were driving around with some kind of fruity license plate frame....something about, "YES I AM"...until my revelation, I had not one clue what that meant! You tiger!

[Doug]

Gee Pope,

For a guy who started a thread about the size and prowess of another man's schwanger, you sure are giving Charlie a hard time about his sexuality!

He even stood up for you the other day. Some guy was accusing you of swinging the other way, and Charlie sez "hey, just cause the guy's cut a few trees, it doesn't make him a logger".

[pope]

Mentioning Charlie... hey that guy keeps some fine company. I heard a rumor that he fraternizes with an E-BURG CLIMBER who is known to have revealed himself to Donna in an attempt to demonstrate who's the real Big Lou Jr. Also, I heard this guy ate a California Burrito that had been sitting in the car all day. According to the rumor, he had an attack of acid flatulence and explosive diarrhea before he could make it behind a J-Tree boulder.

[This message has been edited by pope (edited 05-25-2001).]

[Guest]

Gee "Pope"!

I knew it was only a matter of time before you brought up your "starfish" fetish. Guess what! Despite what you hear on Tom Lykis, Howie Stern or whatever, most girls do not care for that, got it? THEY DO NOT CARE FOR THAT! So warning to you gurls out there, don't turn your back on Pope and if you ever drop the soap in the shower, don't pick it up. By the way, I don't know your friends in Ellensburg although I've heard of this Charlie feller. He posted something earlier about a rope and a harness or something. He was funny.

[pope]

Donna, you're a difficult girl to understand. All this talk about how the starfish isn't an acceptable interface port....I know you're still upset about how I behaved up on Liberty Bell. But be honest: you're the one who suggested that "Big Lou Jr" might be cuter with a chocolate chip on the end of it, and just how was I supposed to interpret that? As I recall, that starfish thing was completely your idea (something about effective birth control), and we were about to close the deal when I mentioned my marriage. Suddenly, you "weren't that kind of girl", and the whole bivouac went south.

I don't understand any of this. I remember how you used entertain all of the guys in Mountain Rescue at their social functions. Hey, remember? You'd be sitting on everybody's lap, driving that old boyfriend of your's nuts, playing grab-apples with every married man in the joint. But you'll have nothing to do with me, ever since I told you about my wife....know what? I think you're jealous.

[Dwayner]

Pope. You're one dirty bird. After reading several of your smart-ass nonsensical messages on this site, I think you've got a serious problem with women; you're very disrespectful to the female race. Donna sounds right-on to me (and no, I'm not interested in the little "vixen"). So quit making up the sordid stories and get real, because isn't that what life's all about?

And Donna: I think responding to Pope only encourages him. He's obviously out to amuse his buddies. Hang tough, lady!

- Dwayner

P.S. Hey Pope! Got any pictures? She sounds HOT, HOT, HOT!!!!!!

[pope]

Well, look what I found! Looks like you, Dwayner, were all over that action, and you hadn't even seen the pictures when you posted this one. Now you are trying to convince me that you're in Spain while Donna is up in Wales climbing with some rat-faced Limey? I really don't care if she's "playing your horn", just don't expect me to believe you and Donna are bivouacing anywhere but your hotel room, partner. You can't hide your attraction to Donna any better than you can hide your pathetic addiction. Is it respect you intend to show Donna, or is it Big Lou Jr.?

[This message has been edited by pope (edited 06-18-2001).]