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Posted

Anyone else reading the "Torture Memos" released the other day? Great torture porn!

 

I had no idea that you should, in order not to humiliate a person, under interrogation for up to 20 hours straight , who you should keep awake for no more than 180 hours straight, standing naked in a three foot circle with their hands shackled under their chin, who may shit and piss themselves during this time, make them wear an adult diaper. No wonder my Gimp feels so degraded.

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Posted

ingredients:

massive poverty

any dumbass radical religion/philosophy

political oppression

 

mix ingredients together and shake vigorously

 

move to higher ground

Posted

'n Ahm proud t' B 'n 'meri-CAN, whar et least Ah know Ahm free...

...to stick some poor raghead with not a shred of evidence against him in an upright coffin with the cracks stuffed with towels to simulate suffocation for 24 hours...

...over and over...

...for 7 years...

...until Ah hafta stop cuz he's gone all fuck'n bonkers...

Posted

If you're going to slap a detainee in the face, it's perfectly legal as long you spread your fingers, according to the Bush Justice Department. You may also place a detainee who is afraid of insects in a confined box with insects. Also, when water boarding, only pour water over the face for 20 seconds at a time at most.

Posted
ingredients:

massive poverty

any dumbass radical religion/philosophy

political oppression

 

mix ingredients together and shake vigorously

 

move to higher ground

shit, i forgot the most obvious ingredient - heat! it's gotta be hot, hot, hot - if possible humid too - how many terrorists come from iceland, siberia, patagonia or alaska?

Posted

That's 'you' as in 'ya'll', as in 'Wee the Peephole', as in 'These United Colors of Benetton Don't Run'. 'We' stopped paying the price the day the draft ended. After that, war became just another cable channel, the bill for which just gets added to a credit card balance we'll never have to pay...which might help explain why we've started so many since Vietnam.

 

Ah, Vietnam. Cases of Product 19 cereal from the commissary, sunburned afternoons at the Skagg's Island base pool, garbage cans full of ice and Shasta Cola at base picnics, Allison Brewer sobbing at her brother's funeral in 2nd grade. Those were the days.

Posted
No War, No Freedom.

 

Or something like that.

 

It never seems to be fleshed out any further than that....

 

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

 

Posted

I'm all better from a record breaking string of maladies, BTW. The Andromeda Strain of colds, neck spasm from Hell...all cured.

 

Except for that tick head embedded in my abdomen, but hey, it's always something. Hello Lyme disease!

Posted

War is the natural state of man, no denying that. Might as well be good at it. But perhaps immoral acts performed in the name of "good" will only serve to make more enemies for ourselves.

Posted
ingredients:

massive poverty

any dumbass radical religion/philosophy

political oppression

 

mix ingredients together and shake vigorously

 

move to higher ground

 

Let's see if your recipe applies to Osama Bin Laden...

 

1.) Nope. Wealthy Family.

 

2.) Nope. Just Islam. Again.

 

3.) Nope. A family of despot ass-kissers.

 

4.) No shaking required. Just an ass-backward religion and a few American apologists.

 

5.) Even the 110th floor wasn't high enough.

Posted (edited)

well played on #5 :)

 

but yeah, you nailed me dead to rights - that osama dude was just totally misunderstood :rolleyes:

 

islam doesn't count as a dumbass religion/philosophy? i doubt you meant that its the only religion to throw up dumbass motherfuckers - christians, jews, muslims and hindus have all proven their ability to get crazy w/ it

 

Edited by ivan

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