noo poo thread

[General Zod]

.......

[StevenSeagal]

Goddamit. There's an Uncle Ted in the john right now. I'm in danger of becoming a frequent flyer...

[StevenSeagal]

I propose an addition to this guide:

 

THE STAND OFF

This is when you are already in a stall, and someone comes in and ignores all the above rules and takes a seat in an adjoining stall, usually the one closest to you. Your situation is that you're either not quite finished, or haven't even had an opportunity to get started yet. Immediately after the new guy gets seated, follows a long, 5-10 minute awkward silence; each person holding it in and hoping the other guy will give up and leave first. The silence is occasionally broken by a single sniffle, a rustling of the toilet paper dispenser, or a grunting cough. Eventually one person gets fed up and breaks the uncomfortable silence by standing up and immediately leaving the stall, usually flushing despite the obvious fact that they didn't go at all (no TP sounds were heard), but providing the flush as a respectful acknowledgement that the winner of the stand off must have really wanted it more and had to go more urgently, thus allowing them a moment to release any built up pressure. The Stand Off can be avoided by observing the strategy of the Fly By, although the initial stall occupant usually has little or no control over the enactment of a Stand Off.

 

A version of this situation is The Hostage, where a stall occupant is ambushed by someone who sits in the immediately adjacent stall and shamelessly unloads, trapping the first occupant in a world of embarrassment and bad odor, either forcing them to leave early (exposing them to a Walk of Shame that might be erroneously credited to them) or to stay in the stall far longer than they had intended.

 

[hafilax]

Good grief. Just sit, shit and leave. Who cares about anyone else?!

 

I guess that makes me an Out Of Closet.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

 

I'm afraid I am a hostage-taker. That must make me a terrorist - the REAL terrorist.

 

[jordop]

.

 

 

Edited June 16, 2021 by jordop

[sobo]

I propose an addition to this guide:

 

THE STAND OFF

This is when you are already in a stall, and someone comes in and ignores all the above rules and takes a seat in an adjoining stall, usually the one closest to you. Your situation is that you're either not quite finished, or haven't even had an opportunity to get started yet. Immediately after the new guy gets seated, follows a long, 5-10 minute awkward silence; each person holding it in and hoping the other guy will give up and leave first. The silence is occasionally broken by a single sniffle, a rustling of the toilet paper dispenser, or a grunting cough. Eventually one person gets fed up and breaks the uncomfortable silence by standing up and immediately leaving the stall, usually flushing despite the obvious fact that they didn't go at all (no TP sounds were heard), but providing the flush as a respectful acknowledgement that the winner of the stand off must have really wanted it more and had to go more urgently, thus allowing them a moment to release any built up pressure. The Stand Off can be avoided by observing the strategy of the Fly By, although the initial stall occupant usually has little or no control over the enactment of a Stand Off.

 

A version of this situation is The Hostage, where a stall occupant is ambushed by someone who sits in the immediately adjacent stall and shamelessly unloads, trapping the first occupant in a world of embarrassment and bad odor, either forcing them to leave early (exposing them to a Walk of Shame that might be erroneously credited to them) or to stay in the stall far longer than they had intended.

Both of those paragraphs were well written, poignant, and I have been in the position of both at one time or another. I, for one, vote to include them within The Guide. :tup:

[olyclimber]

i'd like to approve this, but its going to take Senior VP support. I suggest you run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it, and if response is favorable then put together a tactical team to evaluate implementation methods.

[Dechristo]

the stool pigeon is about to spill the beans