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Posted (edited)
So ones I used for dying projects:

That project is circling the drain.

....falling off the perch

...can't polish a turd

...is about as useful as perfume on a pig

 

For a crazy co-worker I said that his cheese done slid off his cracker. They thought I was the crazy one. I dunno. Just "cultural differences" I suppose.

 

That one about the cracker is the best yet! :lmao: :lmao:

 

I've always liked:

 

He's a bubble off level. Or,

 

He has a few 'roos loose in the top paddock. :crazy:

 

 

 

 

 

In Australia, for dying projects, we used to say:

 

She's spat the dummy, mate. (A "dummy" is what they call a baby's pacifier.)

Edited by Sherri
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Posted
"Excuse me, but I need to go to the restroom and take a Porter."

 

(others call out)

 

"Be sure to wipe your Tvashtarkatena."

 

"And, give your Dechristo a shake."

Shit or get off the pot.

 

Time for a William Shatner.

 

Dropping the kids off at the pool.

 

Go lay some speed bumps.

 

 

Posted
why don't you act like a tree and get the fuck out of here.

 

i like V7's: "act like a mime and STFU"

 

 

Too dumb to pour piss out of a boot with instructions written on the heel.

 

Posted

dead batteries (or anything else dead) said to be "tits up"

 

 

i thought it's make like a tree and leaf

 

make like a hockey player and get the puck out of here

 

 

on being complained to about a particularly stupid platoon mate: "i wasn't his parents and fucked"

 

 

"every swinging richard" for everyone in the unit/group/etc

 

 

high speed low drag for good soldiers

 

low speed high drag for the other variety

 

 

addressing new recruits variously as hero, hollywood, or cosmo

 

 

 

Posted

Some men's way of describing certain women:

 

She's a butterface, it all looks great, but her face.

 

Good from a far but far from good.

 

A double bagger. One for her head and one for yours in case hers rips.

 

Posted
why don't you act like a tree and get the fuck out of here.

 

i like V7's: "act like a mime and STFU"

 

 

Too dumb to pour piss out of a boot with instructions written on the heel.

Dumber than a box of rocks.
Posted

Close enough for government work.

Close enough for the girls I go with.

Close enough for rock and roll.

 

Let's make like a drum and beat it.

Let's make like a tree and leave.

 

Beats a sharp stick in the eye.

Beats a swift kick in the teeth.

Posted
kevbone's as sharp as a bowlin' ball
Sharp as a marble.

 

This is irony here. A marble would be "sharper" than a bowling ball due to its smaller diameter.

 

One thing we do at my work a lot:

 

putting ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag

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