olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 EVERYONE STOP HITTING REFRESH! I WILL BE TRANSCRIBING THE APPLE KEYNOTE LIVE! WAITING FOR KEYNOTE TO BEGIN.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 STOP OVERLOADING THE SERVERS! I'M DOING THIS AS A PUBLIC SERVICE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 OK...ITS BEGINNING. OMG NEW PRODUCT ITS SO HOTT...THE NEW iMLU!!!!!!1 SEARCHERS CAN NOW USE BLUETOOTH TECHNOLOGY OMG STEVE JOBS IS A DEITY. I HAVE ALREADY ORDERED 5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 STILL WAITING FOR KEYNOTE TO BEGIN... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 What is a keynote? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 STOP OVERLOADING THE SERVERS! ENOUGH WITH THE REFRESH ALREADY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 APPLE STORE IS OFFLINE FOR UPDATES. THIS IS GOING TO BE A BIG ONE. EVERYONE HOLD YOUR BREATH. STOP BREATHING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 STEVE JOBS IS DRESSED IN A SWEATSUIT AND NIKES. HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE NEW iASTERIOD. WE WILL ALL BE JOINING HIM ON THE ASTEROID SOON, WHICH IS REALLY A SPACESHIP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 APPLETV! I JUST WET MYSELF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 OMG WIDE TOUCH SCREEN HD CELLPHONE CAMERA I LOST CONTROL OF MY BOWELS GIVE ME GIVE ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I SPECULATE THAT AFTER THE LIVE KEYNOTE WE WILL HAVE AN INTERNETSLOLZ APPLE CIRCLE JERK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 ITS A REVOLUTIONSZERS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 ITS EVERYTHING YOU NEED. ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, SOLVED BY TECHNOLOGY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 ONE SMALL STEP FOR STEVE JOBS, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrogdortheBurninator Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Transcription complete  SAN FRANCISCO--Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs is announcing a set of new products at his speech at Macworld Tuesday. We're covering his keynote from the floor, so check back here for continuous updates as the news happens.  9:37--Jobs gives a demonstration of how Apple TV will work.  9:31--Apple TV will allow users to stream content from up to five computers, and autosync from one computer.  "Just like you set up an iPod, set up a TV. The 1- most-watched movies on Apple TV, for example."  TV shows can be set to automatically stream to Apple TV and reside there on the hard drive when you purchase them. If you like Lost, you can set it to download every Lost episode to the Apple TV when you purchase it. Other videos you can choose to keep on your Mac or PC.  "You can also stream from up to five computers, watch on Apple TV but not store on the hard drive, like if your neighbor comes over," Jobs says.  9:28--Jobs introduces what has been known as the iTV. It is now called "Apple TV," consisting of the Apple logo, then "TV". Jobs describes it as a way to enjoy your content on your TV."  Users can wirelessly transmit the content to an Apple TV from a PC or Mac, according to Jobs. "I'm going to use a Mac," he says.  9:26--Jobs talks about Microsoft's Zune as a new competitor to the iPod. "How did they do?" Jobs asks. Then he cites data for November, which was the Zune's launch month. The Zune grabbed 2 percent market share, according to Jobs. The iPod had 62 percent market share, he says citing NPD.  A Zune goes up in flames, and the crowd titters.  Jobs shows off new iPod ads: the same silhouette ads of people dancing around.  9:23--"We are the fifth largest music reseller in the U.S.," Jobs says. "Because of the growth of iTunes, we have now passed Amazon; we are now No. 4."  You can guess who our next target may be; it's Target."  TV shows--we have sold 50 million TV shows on iTunes. Movies--(the) pioneering partner we had with TV shows was Disney. We have sold 1.3 million movies in the first four months, which I think has exceeded all of our expectations."  Jobs announces Apple's new partner will be Paramount. "They have some awesome movies, all six Star Trek movies," he says to laughs.  "We are going go be moving up to 250 movies on iTunes; we hope to add more movies as other studios throw in with us," he says."  9:21--"2007 was an awesome year for the Mac," Jobs says. "But that's all we're going to talk about the Mac today."  Jobs gives an update on Apple's music business. "We've got iPods. A few things about iTunes--we have crossed a major milestone; we have sold over 2 billion songs on iTunes. iTunes sales were really up this year. It took us three years to get to 1 billion; we got our second billion in a year."  "We're selling over 5 million songs a day on iTunes."  9:19--Jobs references retiring Microsoft exec Jim Allchin's off-cited quote, in which he said he'd buy a Mac if he didn't work at Microsoft.  A Vista ad is shown on screen, with the Mac and PC guys who've starred in Apple's most recent ad campaign. The "PC guy" is in a hospital gown, scared about major surgery.  "Mac," he says, "if I don't come back, I want you to have my peripherals."  9:17--"We said we'd do Intel in 12 months; we did in 7. Beautiful, seamless transition of OS X for Intel processors. Rosetta software created to run PPC apps on Intel processors," Jobs says.  "We didn't do this alone; we did it with a lot of folks. Our new colleagues at Intel helped us. Thank you very much."  "We've had an extremely succesful year, and I want to thank our users very much," Jobs says.  "We are pleased to report that Macs are selling through all channels, over half are selling to people who have never owned a Mac."  9:15--Steve Jobs comes on stage to James Brown's "I Got You, (Feel Good)." He's wearing his traditional outfit, turtleneck.  "We're going to make some history together today," he says.  9:07 a.m. PST--We're awaiting Steve Jobs here at Macworld, a little past 9 a.m. People were lined up by the hundreds in the pre-dawn hours to get a prime seat for Jobs' speech in which he's expected to discuss an Apple-designed phone, the company's iTV product, and who knows what else. We'll bring it to you live as Jobs presents at Macworld 2007. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 VISUAL VOICEMAIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 EDIBLE COMPUTERS. A BUG ATE YOUR DATA, FOO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I don't buy Apple products (nor eat apples) because of their role in the Garden of Eden. It's SIN! Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joblo7 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 stop posting that SCARY PICTURE!!!!!!! POR FAVOR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 fear not, Apple will prove your salvation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Steve Jobs makes Baby Jesus happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink_chalk Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 what is going on here??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 YEAH INTERNETS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 George Bush = War, sorrow, and death Steve Jobs = Peace, happiness and Fluffy little bunnies  Just ask John Mayer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 what is going on here??? Â no one knows. Not even them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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