Forster Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will never leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. A s for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!" THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" Quote
Alpinfox Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 YEAH! I KNEW THE GUY THAT SUBMITTED THAT! HE WAS A GOOD FRIEND OF MY GOOD FRIEND OF MY GOOD FRIEND WHO KNEW THAT GUY! OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FUNNY THAT IS! HILARIOIUS! AND ORIGINAL! edit: Hey, would you like to buy some Cialis? I've got some other Spam you might be interested in too! PM me for details! Quote
olyclimber Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 AND THIS ONE TIME, AT BAND CAMP.... Quote
Squid Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 Alpinfox is bitter cuz Teresa (Cheeleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) dumped him for that guy. Quote
islandclimber Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 SPAM tastes so good, OMG! Add a little PM sauce and wow.... GOurmet meal! Quote
Squid Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 you've crashed my computer, greeen eye-roller!!!! Quote
islandclimber Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 eye rolling is so hot... i am so turned on right now... maybe time to put take a break from band camp, put down my musical instrument and go........ Quote
olyclimber Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 take a break and tune your instrument. it will sound much better. Quote
Forster Posted February 24, 2006 Author Posted February 24, 2006 FOAD it's a joke !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and rather clever! Quote
Mos_Chillin Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Aaaaaadddddrrrrrrriiiiiiiaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn! Quote
Dru Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 FOAD it's a joke !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and rather clever! Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? You walked by and he laughed so hard, he couldn't hold on? Quote
Johnny_Tuff Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Aaaaaadddddrrrrrrriiiiiiiaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn! Yesssss!!! Quote
Mos_Chillin Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 She is so hot and rockin! Saw them last time they came to town. Quote
olyclimber Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 http://seattle.craigslist.org/w4m/136345482.html Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Oh Ruuuuuuddddyyyy! Yer wanted, ye scurvy knave! Quote
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