Modern Lovers

[Ducknut]

google this

[Camilo]

Holy crap graupel, that site is crazy! I don't know where they get their info. . . tax forms? I looked up a bunch of people, found them, and then looked myself up. It's got my birth date, phone number, my work address, my parents' address, my dad's office address. Plus you can do background checks. I'm glad I'm not stalking material.

[archenemy]

I find that a lot of the women who are quick to talk about the dangers of "stalkers" or ... "creepy" guys ... seem to fall in one of four categories:

 

 

1) They have personally been stalked by DoubleE, and it was a scary, traumatic experience, OR...

 

2) They're rather fat and/or ugly, and secretly wish that once, just for once, DoubleE would actually stalk them OR...

 

3) They enjoy watching a nice, sensitive guy squirm in his seat and rush to reassure the rest of the room that he would NEVER do anything to harm a woman or make her feel uncomfortable ... I've watched this exact kind of scenario unfold on more than one occasion. {editors note: not possible: no such thing as nice, sensitive guy)

 

4. Date doubleE

[Dechristo]

{editors note: not possible: no such thing as nice, sensitive guy)

 

What the fuck IS "a nice, sensitive guy"?

[archenemy]

a dyke

[mec]

Is that used to hold water?

[Dechristo]

a dyke

 

Dick Van or Jerry Van?

[Ireneo_Funes]

Holy crap graupel, that site is crazy! I don't know where they get their info. . . tax forms? I looked up a bunch of people, found them, and then looked myself up. It's got my birth date, phone number, my work address, my parents' address, my dad's office address. Plus you can do background checks. I'm glad I'm not stalking material.

 

Yeah, it's a little scary what's out there. But I noticed some weird (incorrect) stuff too: two of the addresses they had for my mom were apartments I used to live in, and another was my in-laws' address. And when I looked up my wife under her married name, she had my birthday.

 

Take note, would-be stalkers!

[archenemy]

Is that used to hold water?

They get bloated just like the rest of us

[Cobra_Commander]

a dyke

 

Dick Van or Jerry Van?

 

Just stage names. His real name was Penis Van Lesbian.

[Ireneo_Funes]

a dyke

 

Dick Van or Jerry Van?

 

Just stage names. His real name was Penis Van Lesbian.

 

[Peter_Puget]

Dru - I expected that you would have posted this by now! Your slowing down.

 

Pablo Picasso

Words and music: Jonathan Richman

 

Well some people try to pick up girls

And get called assholes

This never happened to Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare and

So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

 

Well the girls would turn the color

Of the avocado when he would drive

Down their street in his El Dorado

He could walk down you street

And girls could not resist his stare

Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole

Not like you

Alright

 

Well he was only 5'3"

But girls could not resist his stare

Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole

Not in New York

 

Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,

Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole

Remember the story of Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

Alright this is it

 

Some people try to pick up girls

And they get called an asshole

This never happened to Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare and so

Pablo Picasso was never called...

[olyclimber]

The Burning Sensations did a pretty good cover of that song.

[Dru]

so did the Circle Jerks.

[Dechristo]

and the Archies

[Double_E]

If you Google me, you'll find this dorky post I made to the Mounties' BBS, when I moved to Seattle four years ago, basically saying "hi Everyone... just moved here.. looking for peak-scrambling partners..." ... for some reason tho, I can't seem to find the posts I made to that BBS about speed-climbing, donkey-punching, rodents, MILFs, and stuff like that.... or the ones I made about how only six of the ten essentials are actually essential. I must not have used my last name for those.

 

No but seriously... I think that a lot of people, like myself, used to use their first and last name for BBSs, forums, listservs, etc.... when they were new to the net and didn't realize how much of it goes out there to the Grand Public Internet Archive. funny how reading something you wrote four years ago can be kind of awkward.. sorta like listening to a recording of your own voice.

 

What really annoys me are they email listservs which put their archives out there for everyone to Google. There should be a law requiring them to tell you these delicate facts of life in your subscription-confirmation-email.

 

[Ireneo_Funes]

Someone I Care About

 

Well I don't want just a girl to fool around with

Well I don't want just a girl to ball alright

What I want is a girl that I care about

Or I want nothing at all.

nothing at all, Alright

 

well

 

Well I won't pretend I like a girl if I really don't

And act like she's great when she makes me feel appalled

All I want is a girl that I care about

Or I want nothing at all.

nothing at all

 

Well I don't want some cocaine sniffing triumph in the bar

Well I don't want a triumph in the car

I don't want to make a rich girl crawl

What I want is a girl that I care about

Or I want no one at all

Alright, listen to this now.

 

Picture this:

I'm walking with my girlfriend

28 misguided souls combined say, "We're moving in"

There's a certain kind of girl that you care about so much

You say, "I don't care what you guys do to me, but her, don't touch"

 

'Cause I don't want just a girl to fool around with

I don't want just a girl to ball

What I want is a girl that I care about

Or I want nothing at all

Oh all right

 

Well I don't want just a girl to fool around with, no

I don't want just a girl to ball, no

What I want is a girl that I care about

Or I want nothing at all.

 

All right gentlemen.

[ChrisT]

Dru - I expected that you would have posted this by now! Your slowing down.

 

Pablo Picasso

Words and music: Jonathan Richman

 

Well some people try to pick up girls

And get called assholes

This never happened to Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare and

So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

 

Well the girls would turn the color

Of the avocado when he would drive

Down their street in his El Dorado

He could walk down you street

And girls could not resist his stare

Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole

Not like you

Alright

 

Well he was only 5'3"

But girls could not resist his stare

Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole

Not in New York

 

Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,

Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole

Remember the story of Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

Alright this is it

 

Some people try to pick up girls

And they get called an asshole

This never happened to Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare and so

Pablo Picasso was never called...

 

that's from "Repo Man"

[olyclimber]

Yes, the Burning Sensations cover of it is on the soundtrack.

[Dechristo]

I want a girl in a short skirt and a loooooong jacket.

[Cobra_Commander]

I see from your credit card receipts you must live in my neighborhood. Wanna go out for coffee at that shop you always go to? Or maybe just cyber in some chatroom first? BTW half of your trash you threw away could have been recycled."

 

Would that go over well?

[olyclimber]

Actually, I think she would be put off that you didn't know exactly where she lived, and which side of the bed she prefers to sleep on.

[Dechristo]

"...BTW half of your trash you threw away could have been recycled... and the tampons you're using could cause Toxic Shock Syndrome (btw, b/c of your heavy flow, you should be drinking more water)."

[jmace]

Dechristo wins the super sick fucker award, congrats

[Squid]

and PP deserves kudos for bringing up the Modern Lovers (and bringing this thread full circle)!!

 

My telephone never rings

She'd never call me

I hate myself today

But I can see through this bitterness and sadness

And so I won't die

Someday I think I'll be dignified and old

 

Well my friends say that I decieve myself

And that I contradict myself

And I can't say if they're right

But I'm not ashamed

Oh I can take a challenge

And so I won't die

Someday I'll be dignified and old

I know it

And I say hey kids

(Hey kids)

I said hey kids

(Hey kids)

I say someday we'll be dignified and old

That's right

I said some day we'll be dignified

(Hey kids, Hey kids)

Someday we'll be dignified

(Hey kids, Hey kids)

Someday we could be dignified and old together

 

Well now

Look at the mountain

My girl and I used to stand on the mountain

And the sun shines, she's dead, and I cry

But I can see through this death and the sadness

And so I won't die now

Someday I wanna be dignified and old

 

Well now, see the desert

I sit all alone in the desert

And no girl understands me

But I can see through this bleakness and grey and sadness

And well I won't die now

Someday I'll be dignified and old

I say, you, don't die now

Someday we'll be dignified and old together

Edited May 14, 2005 by Squid