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Dear Snugtop,

 

My girlfriend wants to pick my lips when they get chapped. She also likes to pop my zits. I think this is gross. Should I let her?

 

Sincerely,

 

A. Climber

 

Dear A.,

 

If your lips are so nasty that she must manually exfoliate, thank your lucky stars you have a woman at all. You could be home alone making out with your pillow!

 

-ST

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Dave,

 

It's not enough to just desire to be with other men--being Dan Savage is more than being just gay. But if you really want to be Dan Savage I suggest you start by going gay.

 

A first step might be to "utilize" Thadsboner. His girlfriend might not want another woman, but might be amenable to a second male. thumbs_up.gifHCL.gif

 

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Dear Snugs,

 

I have a female friend who has gone on a popular internet chat site and invited thousands of sex-deprived guys to send her personal messages. Should I warn her that she might be overwhelmed?

 

Sincerely,

-Concerned

 

Concerned,

 

I'm sure she can handle herself fine. But let me ask you this: do you find yourself worrying about your friends' situations and not focussing on your own? Perhaps you ought to use your free time in more productive pursuits--like basket weaving, DNA sequencing, or studying SOx 404 compliance.

 

That said, you have cause for some concern: intenet chat sites are known to attract the riff-raff.

 

 

Hope that helps!

 

Auntie Snugs

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Dear Snugtop,

 

Today I aided something I could not climb "naturally". I feel dirty. Is this wrong...?!

 

Caught b/w a rock and a hard place

 

Jugs,

 

You have defiled yourself by climbing in a manner by which the gods did not intend. You must make an offering to the climbing gods by crashing a Subaru Tribeca.

 

Dr. Snugglesworth

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S'up Snugs,

 

Yo, I been mackin' dis bitch fo' a LONG ass time and I finally got me sum a dat. But now dat bitch be axin' me today if she can be leavin' her toofbrush in my baffroom an' shit! Can you belief dat!??!

 

So, my question izzz, How I teach dis bitch to be respectin' my shit?

 

Peace,

-Disrespected Pimp Fox

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Dave,

 

It's not enough to just desire to be with other men--being Dan Savage is more than being just gay. But if you really want to be Dan Savage I suggest you start by going gay.

 

A first step might be to "utilize" Thadsboner. His girlfriend might not want another woman, but might be amenable to a second male. thumbs_up.gifHCL.gif

 

snugtop.gif

 

No that's not what i ment. What I was trying to say is that you are a female version of the great Dan Savage. So how should we start out questions? "Hey lesbo" instead of "hey faggot". BTW, "hey faggot" was from the old days. For those of you who don't live in Seattle go to thestranger.com and look for Savage Love.

Edited by Dave_Schuldt
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